What NOT to Say to Someone TTC!!

Meet others who are TTC in their 20s

Moderators: unaffected, JessM, southernbelle, maddy

Re: What NOT to Say to Someone TTC!!

Postby Tarvink » Sun Jul 06, 2014 6:43 pm

SERIOUSLY!!! We have been TTC since early mc in Nov 2011. There is this one girl at church, who we don't know very well, and every time she sees us with our DS (4 1/2) she says, "It's about time for y'all to have another one isn't it?" If she'd said it once, I might could brush it off, we always just sort of smile and shrug our shoulders. Very few ppl at church know about our loss, but sometimes I just want to scream at her "Yes, it's Waaay past time, if I could have, I would have!"
Also, my best "friend" at work, who is one of only a handful I've told about our struggle to conceive, is now pg for the second time since my mc. And she makes this BIG announcement in front of all our colleagues, and myself. Staring right at me, like she's watching for my reaction. Then says they were NTNP, but she took her first HPT a WEEK before AF was due. If you are NTNP, you have no reason to be testing that early! And when she made her announcement, she wasn't even 6 weeks yet! I would just think that after watching me go through my loss, at around 9 weeks. That she would wait about making her announcements.
Me: 31
DH: 36
DS: 4 1/2 perfectly healthy pg
M/C @ 9 weeks 3 days 11/2011
TTC #2 since Jan 2012

My ovulation chart
http://FertilityFriend.com/home/505ab5
Tarvink
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 99
Joined: Sun Jul 06, 2014 6:35 pm

Re: What NOT to Say to Someone TTC!!

Postby randapanda » Mon Jul 07, 2014 7:58 am

We are ttc #2 for almost 2 yrs now. Ya our 5 yr old can anniy us or be a crazy kid sometimes but I would not trade him for anything. We had a mc when we were first married and our son was a planned surprise. Pg was hard but loved it till the end.
randapanda
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 3617
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:16 am

Re: What NOT to Say to Someone TTC!!

Postby AlyceRenee » Thu Nov 13, 2014 10:54 pm

Hi ladies,

I'm new to this forum. But I've been TTC since April 2014, granted its not very long. But some of the phases I "love" hearing from friends and family are:
"Just relax, it'll happen soon enough"
"You'll get there"
"There are always other options"
"Enjoy the roller coaster ride"

Are you kidding me?! I hate the roller coaster ride. I hate waiting 2 weeks to see if the injectibles have worked. I hate feeling like a pin cushion very few days for blood works. I just want someone to hear me. I don't need their advice (albeit well meaning & well intentioned), just be here for me during this emotional nightmare!

I hope that you ladies are doing well and that your friends and family are more supportive. Sending lots of wishes for healthy conceptions and pregnancies xx
Alyce
Sydney
AlyceRenee
Newbie
Newbie
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2014 10:48 pm

Re: What NOT to Say to Someone TTC!!

Postby Sugarplum1922 » Tue Jun 30, 2015 10:26 pm

Hey ladies!!! This thread is great! It's hard sometimes to even respond to people when they make comments--and believe me, after having three kids myself, you will still get some type of rude or ignorant remarks no matter which side of motherhood you are on. Before I had kids, I sort of kept quiet about my TTC journey. I got married young (18), and so when we starting trying for a baby two years later I didn't really tell anyone. After two years of trying, I sort of opened up about it---briefly. I have PCOS, so it took around 6 months or so of clomid for my first.

Then, when my first was around 2 we started trying for our second because I knew it would take a while. It took a bit over a solid year of natural trying, and then 7 rounds of clomid to get pregnant for the second time. That time, I got pregnant with twins--they are now 5 months old.

Being pregnant is amazing, and maybe I think so because I know how precious it is, and how hard it is to get pregnant (for some of us), and I would still love to have one more child...someday. Even though I'm not exactly TTC I told my mother in law at lunch a couple of months ago that I still want one more, she then got this disgusted look on her face and said "Now, why would do something like that? You already have 3! I can't imagine ever having 3 kids, that's A LOT!" I didn't know what to say, so I just said, "Well, I already have 3, and I'm managing twins just fine, so what's one more years down the road from now?". I believe my husband jumped in at that point and changed the subject. But, gosh, it's drives me nuts! It made me feel low for some reason, and so judged. I've only been pregnant twice, so it's not like I've had 3 or 4 back to back pregnancies (even so, it's not her body so who cares?), and plus, I'm only 27. I feel like I could still wait 3-4 years and have another then--who knows.

The other question that sort of made me fee a bit awkward when I was TTC my second was "When are you going to have another?" which was hard to answer sometimes because I wanted another, but it was hard when I didn't ovulate on my own, and now that I have twins "Wow, do twins run in your family?"Plus, the women in my family assume they are "doomed" to have twins now too (I tell them I did take clomid, but they don't understand). My sister in law and her husband were making jokes a bit ago that they were pregnant with twins, and made some side comment how I got mine with clomid, and said they might get natural ones because there are others on my husbands side. So, mine aren't legit because I took clomid??? Frustrating!

Sorry, that was a long one. I guess I needed some girl talk. I'm surrounded by little ones all day, so I don't get much adult talk! :) :omg:
[b][color=#BF00FF]Me: 26 Dh: 29
TTC #1 with PCOS over 2 years.
BFP!--April 2010
DS born- 12-21-2010

TTC# 2 since 2012
Currently taking-150mg clomid, 1500 mg daily Metformin.
MOTHERS DAY BFP!!!!!!!!! 8DPO!
16 DPO Beta- 589

ImageImage
User avatar
Sugarplum1922
TTC Princess
TTC Princess
 
Posts: 282
Joined: Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:00 am

Re: What NOT to Say to Someone TTC!!

Postby ReesieQua » Tue Sep 22, 2015 10:11 pm

I know this post is old but I wonder if anyone is still out there going through this. I have been trying to conceive for a few months. I'm 26 and in graduate school and I keep hearing people ask why would you want a baby now and my "favorite" one is people telling me stop thinking about it just relax. It'll happen when you least expect it. Ugh!
ReesieQua
Friend
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue Sep 22, 2015 9:16 pm

Previous

Return to TTC in our 20s