How long should we wait?

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How long should we wait?

Postby catcar » Sat Jun 04, 2011 2:43 am

Background in as small a nutshell as I can provide: started actively trying for # 1 when I was 26, a year later saw a specialist, did a lap, dx endometriosis, got pregnant first cycle after lap. When son was about 10 months old, dx with pcos and put on metformin. A short while later also dx with hypothytroid, and put on small dosage of levoxyl.

I am an unemployed teacher looking for a job but had accepted that I probably wouldn't find a job this year, given the economic climate. My husband and I decided that this would be a good time to go for # 2, get that out of the way (since this will be our last) so that when the next hiring season starts I'll be ready to go. We were planning on beginning trying this month after AF. We did throw caution to the wind in my April/May cycle, bd-ed like CRAZY and still did not get pg.

I was just offered a permanent teaching position yesterday. Of course, I accepted. I am 30, will be 31 in the fall. DH and I are thinking we should wait another year or so before trying for # 2. I am concerned that it would look extremely unprofessional to go out of my way to get pregnant immediately after getting hired, and I'm going to be very busy acclimating myself to a new school and community. So if we wait we're looking at me being 32-ish when we start trying again. Is that too late? Especially given my medical history...

I know this is long, and I apologize. I think I'm going to make an appointment with my ob this week and get her opinion on this, as well...
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Postby kez71 » Sat Jun 04, 2011 7:06 am

32 isn't too late! congrats on getting a job, i hope the kids are wondful
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Postby acarlson » Tue Jun 07, 2011 12:00 pm

32 is definitely not too late! I didn't start till I was 29-30.... and still trying! My sister (who is also a teacher) didn't start until she was 34...and she just had her first at 35 years old. I understand where you are coming from with a new job... it's kinda stressful to start a new job, add the whole pregnancy on top of that would be even more stressful. Congrats on the new job though!
Me (Ali)- 32 DH- 35 DSS- 12
TTC #1 for 2 1/2 years

unexplained fertility

September 2011- HSG test, all clear!

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July 2012- first round of femara!


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Postby catcar » Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:06 am

Thanks for the replies. I'm so afraid that we are going to wait, only to find out we waited too long. I really want another one, and had totally accepted and looked forward to the fact that we were going to start trying this month (next week, actually!) So I'm still resigning myself to the fact that we will not be trying any time soon.

So we're thinking next Spring we'll start trying. That way I'll be well into my second year of teaching, and it won't look as bad.
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Postby KMP » Mon Jun 20, 2011 10:34 am

To be honest, I wouldn't worry about how it looks to anyone. How would they know you're trying anyway? I'd go ahead and try and if it happens, so be it. Once you tell them you're pregnant, they won't think of firing you or anything, because in their minds you become untouchable the minute you mention pregnancy.
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Postby catcar » Thu Jun 23, 2011 2:54 am

Yeah, I've thought of that, too, however, in most districts they can fire you without giving any reason the first year.

Right now, the hubby and I are very seriously considering giving it a huge try in my Sept cycle, which, if successful, would put me due at the very end of June, which is quite ideal as a teacher, seeing as there would a minimal maternity leave. That is, if the pregnancy is nice and healthy...
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Postby kitcat1105 » Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:04 pm

Since this is a topic for ladies in their 30's being hopeful about ttc, I find it difficult to understand why you would be asking us if we think it would be too late for you to wait until your early 30's. If anyone here said yes, then it would be like saying we're all wasting our time??? Sorry if I misunderstood your question, but ultimately, how can any one of us give you unbiased advice?
Me 35 DH 41 TTC since Oct 2010
"Unexplained Infertility"
1st IUI March 4th (50 mg. clomid) - BFN
2nd IUI end of April (50 mg. clomid) - BFN
3rd IUI end of May (50 mg. clomid) - BFN
4th IUI June 18 (50 mg clomid) - BFN
August IVF
ER Thurs 8/9!
5 DT Tuesday 8/14- Transfered 1 5 day blast, 3 potential frosties
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On a break I guess. Thinking about getting a lap done.

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Postby catcar » Thu Jun 23, 2011 2:44 pm

This is a forum for women ttc in their 30s. I am in my 30s, and I have a history of infertility. I am concerned about waiting much longer to have baby # 2. I wanted to see what other ladies' thoughts were. At least half of the members on this site are struggling with or have struggled with infertility, which hits many women in their 30's. I personally think that my question was totally appropriate for this particular forum. I am sorry that you disagree.

FYI: I have been using this site for going on 6 years, and this is my first encounter with snarkiness. I guess there's a first time for everything.
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Postby kitcat1105 » Fri Jun 24, 2011 3:55 am

It wasn't my intention to be rude. I just wasn't sure if I understood. I think we can all relate. I just wasn't sure if we could give you the right advice. I was just being honest and not trying to be rude. I am in my 30's and if you read my signature, I'm obviously not having an easy time either. It was just the nature of your question asked if waiting until you were still in your early 30's would be a problem....but most of us are already there. This is why I was confused. I probably never should have said anything. I apologize for it being taken the wrong way. Good luck to you. I know how hard it can be out there in the career world. I think we can all relate to that as well.
Me 35 DH 41 TTC since Oct 2010
"Unexplained Infertility"
1st IUI March 4th (50 mg. clomid) - BFN
2nd IUI end of April (50 mg. clomid) - BFN
3rd IUI end of May (50 mg. clomid) - BFN
4th IUI June 18 (50 mg clomid) - BFN
August IVF
ER Thurs 8/9!
5 DT Tuesday 8/14- Transfered 1 5 day blast, 3 potential frosties
Beta Fri Aug 24th -bfn
On a break I guess. Thinking about getting a lap done.

My Ovulation Chart
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Postby holly-mommawannabe » Fri Jun 24, 2011 8:40 am

I personally wouldn't wait. One thing you can never get back is time, so don't worry about what other people think. Also, ask yourself if you would regret waiting if you end up not being able to conceive. If you think you would, then get to it. If not then wait. The people you work with don't have to know you were "trying." It could have just "happened," ya know. GL to you in whatever you decide.
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June 2010 #1 Clomid 50mg (CD4- 8 ) -->BFN
June 2011 #2 Clomid 50mg (CD5-9) -->BFN
July 2011 #3 Clomid 100mg (CD ???)
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Postby Lisana » Mon Jun 27, 2011 10:42 pm

hi there - I can really really relate to what you're going through. After my daughter was born in October 2008 (the day before yours actually!) I was all set to try for number 2 right away. However, when she was about 15 months, right when we were going to start trying, I was offered my dream job as a college counselor in a high school.

I went through the same dilemma you're having... I didn't feel like getting pregnant right away would be professional, so decided to wait until I was more established in the job. Now, I've been there a year and a half and we are actively trying, but I am nearly 2 years older. :( 34 soon to be 35. It's such a tough decision. I will say, though at 32 you should be absolutely fine, and if this is a career that makes you happy I'd suggest just enjoying it for a while as you settle in, then when you're more established, go ahead with the baby making! I know, for me, that juggling a new stressful job being newly pregnant would have been very difficult. Good luck! And again, even with past fertility issues 32 is still quite young. :)
Me: 34, Husband: 36<br />One daughter born 10/16/08<br />TTC#2 since April 2011<br />
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Postby catcar » Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:35 am

Lisana wrote:hi there - I can really really relate to what you're going through. After my daughter was born in October 2008 (the day before yours actually!) I was all set to try for number 2 right away. However, when she was about 15 months, right when we were going to start trying, I was offered my dream job as a college counselor in a high school.

I went through the same dilemma you're having... I didn't feel like getting pregnant right away would be professional, so decided to wait until I was more established in the job. Now, I've been there a year and a half and we are actively trying, but I am nearly 2 years older. :( 34 soon to be 35. It's such a tough decision. I will say, though at 32 you should be absolutely fine, and if this is a career that makes you happy I'd suggest just enjoying it for a while as you settle in, then when you're more established, go ahead with the baby making! I know, for me, that juggling a new stressful job being newly pregnant would have been very difficult. Good luck! And again, even with past fertility issues 32 is still quite young. :)




Thank you Lisana! That is exactly the kind of response I was looking for: someone who has had a similar concern. I mean, struggling with infertility in my 20s was hard to deal with, and now that I'm in my 30s it is like an added "strike" against me. I am so afraid that I won't be able to conceive once we do start actively trying, but I don't want to look unprofessional, or give them an "unofficial" reason to not renew my contract for the 2012-2013 school year... Not to mention that I have SUPER baby fever right now, too!
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