38 TTC but my work is picking up should i wait?

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38 TTC but my work is picking up should i wait?

Postby workitmommy » Mon Feb 18, 2013 9:26 pm

Hi im so torn right now i work for a high powered entrepreneur...i already work very long hours and travel a lot during certain seasons. Now my boss's schedule is doubling! And as her assistant, I'm expected to go with the flow. I've had this job for many years since my early twenties. I've been wanting kids since I got married at 30. We decided to put it off a few years to get settled and because of my work. Now im in my late 30's and im so ready to have kids!!! However I feel like I'll be betraying my boss at her most pivitol moment if I have kids now...but I also know that my window of opportunity is closing. Honestly i just dont want to wait. I want to do both! But I know that I'll eventually have to take a break. Has anyone else had to make this hard decision?
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Re: 38 TTC but my work is picking up should i wait?

Postby hopeful88 » Tue Feb 19, 2013 12:00 pm

First, congrats on doing something it sounds like you love and have been successful with. It seems there this never an "ideal" to take a break from an exciting career. I struggled with deciding between starting my own company and ttc. I chose starting a company and here I am 2 years later ttc. There is no right or wrong answer; you have to do what is best for you. That said, you never know how long it will take to get pregnant. It could take longer than you think and perhaps things will slow down at work by then. Or it could happen right away. You can try talking to your boss once you've made your decision to start trying and then you might not feel like you're betraying her. (Betrayal sounds harsh to me, more like you're prioritizing your desire to start a family over the job.) I think you should do what's right for YOU! Whatever you decide, best of luck!
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Re: 38 TTC but my work is picking up should i wait?

Postby Forthebirds » Tue Feb 19, 2013 1:08 pm

Go with your gut! I think if you are ready to have a baby, then that should be your priority. Work is work and you can always find another job, but you cant get another biological clock! Would you really want to work for someone who would be mad at you for getting pregnant anyways?
Hanna

Me (33) - PCOS, anovulation, only ovulate with medication
DH (32) - no issues, great swimmers!
TTC since Oct 2010
01/12 Clomid 50 mg :bfp: m/c 6w4d :angel:
08/12 Clomid 50 mg :bfp: ectopic 6w4d :angel:
Mar'13-Aug'13 (6x) IUI :bfn:
********Moving to IVF*********
November 2013- 12 eggs retrieved, 8 mature, 5 fertilized- Two blasts transferred 11-7-13. One fully hatched, and one hatching. :bfp: !!!
Betas... 8dp5dt: 142 10dp5dt: 265 17dp5dt: 6,200
Expecting twin boys!! Coming soon, July 2014.
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Re: 38 TTC but my work is picking up should i wait?

Postby radkitten » Tue Feb 19, 2013 1:29 pm

I think it depends really which is more important to you, starting a family or continuing your career. I agree that it's harsh to think though that you would be betraying your boss, if you've worked for her for that long, she should be able to appreciate your desire to start a family and be happy for you.

I've been struggling with the same thing myself. I've gotten a nice promotion to being part of senior management at my office recently, and it's hard for me to be TTC as I feel like I would be letting them down going on maternity leave not even a year or so later (hopefully?). But my desire to have kids outweighs my love for my job, so TTC wins.

In the end, go with your gut though. It typically won't lead you in the wrong direction and I think you'll be less likely to have the what-ifs then.
Me (31) - Homozygous MTHFR A1298C, Endometriosis, Left Fallopian Tube removed
DH (33) - Normal
Married - 09/09/09

First ever :bfp: 5/6/13
5-17-13 - D&C and ectopic pregnancy removal at 5w5d. Lost left fallopian tube. Right ovarian cyst removed.

Aug 2013 - 1st clomid cycle (50mg CD3-7). 5 follies, missed ovulation, timed intercourse. BFN
Nov 2013 - Jan 2014 - Follicles all on the left.
Feb 2014 - 5mg Femara CD3-7 - Cyst on left ovary, 18mm follie right ovary! Trigger 2/20, IUI 2/22 BFN
October 2014 - IVF #1. Retrieval October 22nd?


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Re: 38 TTC but my work is picking up should i wait?

Postby hopeful88 » Tue Feb 19, 2013 2:47 pm

Just another thought, if you haven't already, you may want to see a gyn or RE to get some testing done. Of course, it can't predict the future but it can give you a sense of your current fertility. I always find it helpful to get as much information as possible before making a decision.
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Re: 38 TTC but my work is picking up should i wait?

Postby AnaH » Fri Feb 22, 2013 5:23 am

Hi workitmommy, I found your post really interesting and certainly a difficult question. I just thought I would stop by and add my two cents worth.
Firstly, you are absolutely not responsible for the success or failure of your boss' career or business; that is her responsibility alone. Secondly, you say in your post that you have worked for your boss through your twenties and thirties and have wanted a child now for eight years. That seems like quite a major sacrifice already and very commendable. Finally, you are 38. In reality, harsh as it sounds, you don't have the luxury of waiting a few more years to see how your work turns out and still expect to fall pregnant easily. Is there any certainty that your boss won't be busier and give you more things to do in the coming years? Having worked with an entrepeneur myself for many years, I know that they never slow down or give up and, in general, things just get more and more hectic. You may decide that, for now at least, your work is a higher priority than starting a family and that is perfectly fine. Only you know what is the right path for you and, for sure, there are no right or wrong answers. Any decent boss will understand that, as a woman in her late thirties, starting a family may be very high up on your list of things to do. In reality, if needed, your boss will find another assistant and, if she is a good boss, she will hold your position for you whilst you take maternity leave if you wanted her to. Good luck whatever you decide.
Me: All tests normal DH: Perfect SA
Together: Unexplained infertility
October 2010 to July 2012- TTC with no assistance, all cycles BFN
July 2012 - Monitored Clomid cycle. Good response but still BFN
August -September 2012- First IVF cycle, finally a BFP. Identical twin girls
December 2012 - Lost the twins at 16 weeks and 5 days
March-April 2013 - First FET, BFN
May-June 2013 - Second IVF cycle - BFP but, sadly, a blighted ovum. D&C 8w3d
October-November 2013 - Third IVF cycle - BFP

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Re: 38 TTC but my work is picking up should i wait?

Postby hanleyt » Sat Feb 23, 2013 8:12 pm

From one workaholic to another, ask yourself this - when you are old, will you wish you had worked more?
Me (Tara) - 32, DH (Jon) - 35, TTC since Aug 2006
- :angel: m/c Nov 2007
- :angel: 13Apr09 ectopic - lost left tube; myomectomy for fibroids - May 2009
- IVF#1 - Dec 2009, IVF#2 April 2010 no transfer, no snowbabies
- IVF#3 - June 2010 - Transferred 3 embryos on 6/4/10, no snowbabies :angel: 7/13/10
BFP au naturale on 9/30/10 thanks to a relaxing trip to Mexico!

1st u/s - 10/19/10 - :hb: 125 bpm
2nd - 11/2/10 - :hb: 167 bpm
3rd - 11/17/10 - :hb: 162 bpm
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5/25/11 - Healthy 9 lb, 6 oz baby boy

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Re: 38 TTC but my work is picking up should i wait?

Postby Hottie » Sun Feb 24, 2013 12:30 pm

Aw, it sucks that you are faced with this decision. I am 37 years old and have been trying to conceive since I was 27 years old. My now boyfriend and I have been trying for well over two years with the help of a reproductive endocrinologist. Like another poster said...its not always as easy as some people think. Not saying you will have this trouble but most of my women friends in their late 30's needed help getting pregnant. So, if you are asking for my opinion...I definetely wouldnt wait. Wishing you the best!
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Re: 38 TTC but my work is picking up should i wait?

Postby workitmommy » Sun Feb 24, 2013 6:57 pm

Thanks so much every for replying..I've decided, like many of you mentioned, to trust my gut and continue to ttc. Because that process takes time, and I honestly feel like if its meant to be the. My job situation will work itself out. I can always get another job, but I want kids right now, and having babies is my own highest priority. I feel good about my decision and have moved forward. :)
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Re: 38 TTC but my work is picking up should i wait?

Postby workitmommy » Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:01 pm

hanleyt wrote:From one workaholic to another, ask yourself this - when you are old, will you wish you had worked more?


You're so right, in the end, I'm not going to wish i had wrk'd more hours...but i'd be devasted by not having kids
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Re: 38 TTC but my work is picking up should i wait?

Postby workitmommy » Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:02 pm

Hottie wrote:Aw, it sucks that you are faced with this decision. I am 37 years old and have been trying to conceive since I was 27 years old. My now boyfriend and I have been trying for well over two years with the help of a reproductive endocrinologist. Like another poster said...its not always as easy as some people think. Not saying you will have this trouble but most of my women friends in their late 30's needed help getting pregnant. So, if you are asking for my opinion...I definetely wouldnt wait. Wishing you the best!


We've been trying for 5 months now, i have faith it will happen soon.
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Re: 38 TTC but my work is picking up should i wait?

Postby radkitten » Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:31 am

workitmommy wrote:Thanks so much every for replying..I've decided, like many of you mentioned, to trust my gut and continue to ttc. Because that process takes time, and I honestly feel like if its meant to be the. My job situation will work itself out. I can always get another job, but I want kids right now, and having babies is my own highest priority. I feel good about my decision and have moved forward. :)


Good for you! Thats the best thing to do so that you have no regrets. Like you said above, 5 years from now you won't lament not working enough hours, but you would not having kids.
Me (31) - Homozygous MTHFR A1298C, Endometriosis, Left Fallopian Tube removed
DH (33) - Normal
Married - 09/09/09

First ever :bfp: 5/6/13
5-17-13 - D&C and ectopic pregnancy removal at 5w5d. Lost left fallopian tube. Right ovarian cyst removed.

Aug 2013 - 1st clomid cycle (50mg CD3-7). 5 follies, missed ovulation, timed intercourse. BFN
Nov 2013 - Jan 2014 - Follicles all on the left.
Feb 2014 - 5mg Femara CD3-7 - Cyst on left ovary, 18mm follie right ovary! Trigger 2/20, IUI 2/22 BFN
October 2014 - IVF #1. Retrieval October 22nd?


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