TTC after loss of an older child

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TTC after loss of an older child

Postby alwaysamom » Mon May 18, 2015 3:12 pm

Hi...this is my first post here. I don't know quite where to put this...TTC over 30? TTC after a loss? I'm sorry if it's in the wrong place.

My only child, from a previous marriage, died suddenly last year. He was 17. He was the light of my life. I've coped well, as well as can be expected I guess. I remarried a few years ago and my husband and I were on the same page about not wanting more children when we got married. (My husband has none) In the last few months, we've come around to the idea of ttc. At first I thought it was the grief talking, but the feeling has grown for both of us.

I am in my late 30s, in overall good health but overweight. I do have Celiac disease but that's well under control as I am strict about my diet. I've started running and do okay taking vitamins...I've been forgetful since my son died so I skip a few days sometimes. My hormones were tested last year due to some wonky periods but everything looked good, seems I'm still ovulating. I am usually pretty much within a few days of a regular 28 day cycle.

I know I'm kind of rambling...what do I need to do to try at my age? Besides the obvious ;) My son was an unexpected surprise, so I'm new to TTC. I plan on waiting a few cycles to try and lose some weight and start taking prenatal vitamins, and also visiting my doc for whatever tests I need.

Adoption is definitely a possibility depending on where the TTC journey takes us.

Thanks for reading :)
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Re: TTC after loss of an older child

Postby starMint » Tue May 19, 2015 6:00 am

I'm sorry for your loss. As for what to do to try at your age - they say that if you don't get pregnant naturally for 6 months to visit an RE. I'm sure that you could go sooner, but I suggest trying the following so you have good data points:

1) Basel body temperature (BBT) - fertility friend has a great app. You can buy a BBT thermometer at most drug stores or online. I am actually just using a cheap digital and it seems to work for me (the key is to take your temperature at around the same time every morning)
2) Ovulation predictor kits (OPKs) - this will help predict when you will ovulate (the BBT will help you confirm that you did)
3) cervical mucus (CM) - paying attention to your body will help you know when you are most fertile.

Good luck!
Me: 38 DH:46
TTC#1 since August 2012
IVF#3 20 eggs retrieved (12/13/17)
150iu gonalF and 150iu Menopur x 14 days (with last 6 days Cetrotide) , 2000iu hcg and Luprene trigger (5 weeks of 7 units hGH started 11/1)
IVF#2 - 19 eggs retrieved(12/8/16) (11 mature) 10 fertilized, 0 blasts
7 units hGH x 43 days (from 10/24 until trigger), 150iu Follistim and 150iu Menopur x 13 days (with last three days the Menopur dropped to 75iu and last four days with 250iu Ganirelix shots), 2000iu hcg and Luprene trigger
IVF#1 26 eggs retrieved (9/16/16), 14 fertilized, 0 blasts
225iu Follistim and 75iu Menopur x 13 days (with last two days the Follistim dropped to 150iu and last four days with Ganirelix shots), 2000iu hcg and Luprene trigger + 2mg Estradiol


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Re: TTC after loss of an older child

Postby alwaysamom » Tue May 19, 2015 8:50 am

starMint,

Thank you for your help! I will pick up a thermometer and start recording temps next cycle. The cm will be a little trickier because it's sort of disappeared as I've gotten older. I was actually happy about that because I thought there was always too much...guess I need to find out how to increase it. Thanks again :)

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Re: TTC after loss of an older child

Postby starMint » Tue May 19, 2015 9:57 am

there are things people use to increase the CM... I just don't know what they are (but I bet Dr. Google would know :rofl: )

It should be possible to find some CM if you put your finger in and not wait for seeing it in your underwear or on toilet paper. Really what you are looking for is that egg-white consistency of clear and stretchy
Me: 38 DH:46
TTC#1 since August 2012
IVF#3 20 eggs retrieved (12/13/17)
150iu gonalF and 150iu Menopur x 14 days (with last 6 days Cetrotide) , 2000iu hcg and Luprene trigger (5 weeks of 7 units hGH started 11/1)
IVF#2 - 19 eggs retrieved(12/8/16) (11 mature) 10 fertilized, 0 blasts
7 units hGH x 43 days (from 10/24 until trigger), 150iu Follistim and 150iu Menopur x 13 days (with last three days the Menopur dropped to 75iu and last four days with 250iu Ganirelix shots), 2000iu hcg and Luprene trigger
IVF#1 26 eggs retrieved (9/16/16), 14 fertilized, 0 blasts
225iu Follistim and 75iu Menopur x 13 days (with last two days the Follistim dropped to 150iu and last four days with Ganirelix shots), 2000iu hcg and Luprene trigger + 2mg Estradiol


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My Ovulation Chart
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Re: TTC after loss of an older child

Postby wantanother15 » Thu Jun 18, 2015 1:00 pm

sorry for your loss
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Re: TTC after loss of an older child

Postby hero7 » Fri Jun 19, 2015 2:09 pm

Sorry about the loss of your son - The tips given previously are exactly right! It's helpful to use an app of some sort. A lot on this site use Fertility Friend and track their BBT. I found that stressed me out too much, so I use Ovia Fertility app and track using the ovulation predictor tests - I buy cheap ones on amazon...50 tests for $9.99! (look for Clinical Guard), Then I just use little disposable 'dixie' cups to collect the urine & dip the tests into.

Be sure to test a couple times a day - usually 10am is the best time to get your Lutenizing Hormone (LH) surge. You can find suggested test cycle info online - my cycles are around 28 days, so I start testing around cycle day 9-10. When I start to see a faint line, I'll test more than 1x per day.

Once you have a good idea of your cycle it will make more sense and you'll know the prime days to BD with your hubby. Look up SMEP (Sperm Meets Egg Plan) it's a good schedule to follow that kinda takes some of the pressure off doing it "all the time" or whatever.

Another helpful resource I used was the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Also bought it on Amazon - I think I got a used copy for cheap. It's LOT of info, but I mostly skimmed through and found the parts that were relevant to me - and then I go back to it when I forget/want more info. It's really helpful and I bet would help give you a good idea of how your cycles work/TTC etc.

Good luck to you!!!!
Me: 38
Hubby: 42

Married 11/2/2014
TTC #1


March 2015 - confirmed early MC/CP
May & June 2015 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
July 2015 - Testing done: AMH 0.72, FSH 10, DH SA #s are great, but lowish morphology
Aug 2015 - Follistim w/ timed - BFN
Oct 2015 - Follistim w/ IUI - BFN
Dec 2015 - New RE!! Updated labs - AMH is now 1.3! Started IVF meds 12/31, retrieval mid-Jan
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Re: TTC after loss of an older child

Postby inthemetro » Sat Jun 20, 2015 5:30 am

I'm sorry for your loss and wanted to wish you baby dust. Just to give one more tip: if you don't have a lot of cm and are worried about it, Preseed comes highly recommended, and it's one of the few fertility-safe lubricants. Good luck!
30 years old, TTC #1

PCOS, blood disorder
mc (March 2015)
7 cycles of clomid: bfn
first cycle injectables: bfp!

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Re: TTC after loss of an older child

Postby momof7 » Sun Jun 21, 2015 5:18 am

Sorry for your loss. Honestly I would just try and do nothing else. I have 8 kids. I didn't temp, chart, check cm. Good luck.
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Re: TTC after loss of an older child

Postby Cadenceoflife » Wed Sep 30, 2015 3:12 pm

Sorry to hear about your loss. My advice, (and take it with a grain of salt) is ... don't wait until everything is perfect. By that I mean, no harm in trying while you lose weight/take more vitamins/etc. We did that thinking that we'd get pregnant the first month trying... 13 months later, I'm still not pregnant and I feel like I just wasted time not trying and getting the ball rolling earlier.

In the best case scenario, you get pregnant right away and you can still get healthy while pregnant by exercising and eating healthy. But, most often it's going to be a few months before you get pregnant and the 'practice' will help you get in tune with your body and ovulation cycles and all of that. Meanwhile you can continue to work out.

Just my two cents like I said, but I think if you are ready to do it go for it. It will just give you more time to address anything that comes up!
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