Looking for a TWW buddy

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Looking for a TWW buddy

Postby MelbVic » Thu Feb 18, 2016 3:36 pm

Hi folks - first time posting (long time forum stalker!)... I think i'm driving my DF crazy with all my TTC neurosis, so thought i'd try find a buddy who is at a similar stage/situation to me on here, to save his sanity!!

I'm 37, and have been TTC #1 since Aug 2015. DF is 36. I'm generally fit and healthy, have had hormones etc checked and all ok, fairly regular cycles since coming off bcp (mini pill) - 27 day cycles (+/- 1 day), AF for 2 days only and usually quite light (generally not requiring tampons or only the light tampons on CD1 only, liners by CD2).

Here's my story so far:
5X BFN cycles. Then last cycle (CD1 was 27th Dec 2015) we fell pregnant for the first time. I had been using OPK (for the first time - previous cycles i had just gone with, "lets do it like mad mid-cycle"!), had loads of EWCM for 2 days starting 5 days before the first OPK+ (on CD18), and had 3 days of +ve OPK. Got a squinter BPF on evening of 22nd Jan (~9DPO, based on Ov 24h post first OPK+), which by the next morning (10DPO) was still faint, but definitely stronger than the night before. I had a very small amount of spotting on this day (assumed to be implantation related) ... I was actually on holiday overseas at the time, so couldnt go to my doc to confirm pregnancy, but I am a POASA, and did one every morning and evening for the next few days ... my faint line remained faint - did not get darker at all. I had other early preg symptoms - mild cramps and really sore (and a bit swollen) boobs (which i also normally get pre-period for about 4-5 days, but this time these symptoms had gone on for several days longer). I also had very slight spotting again on 13DPO and 15DPO.

I started getting quite concerned, mostly about the line not getting darker, but also because i usually spot a bit before my period. I read HUNDREDS of forum conversations, and its probably 50/50 with ones which say the strength of the line doesnt matter versus it tells you something about hormone levels not going up. Every night i'd tell DF that i'd not test again for a few days, but every morning it would get the better of me and i'd test, and be really down/anxious because line was still faint... then mood would pick up during the day because i'd be thinking, i'm currently still pregnant, so thats good! My poor DF!!!

But i still was concerned cos to me, logically, if i'm using the same preg test brand then i thought i really should start to see the faint line increase in intensity, or at least take less time to show +ve, if my hcG levels are doubling every 48-72h. I started thinking, what if its ectopic (read somewhere that hcG levels increase more slowly)! Anyway, took myself to a Dr in the town i was in, he said he didnt think ectopic (because no significant pain, just a few mild cramps), and he said the faint line is normal for someone whos "only just" gone past their expected AF day - im not sure he appreciated that i was 6 days late at this point, and had several faint BFP in a row. Anyway, he gave me a slip for the beta-hcG blood test, that i could get done the following day because clinic was currently closed, and because of our travel plans he also gave us a slip for the 2nd test which i wouldnt be able to have until approx 72h later in a diff town. Unfortunately the day after i visited the Dr, so at 16DPO, i started bleeding, and got a negative preg test result. I didnt bother going off to get the beta-hcG blood test (as it would have been at my expense). Concluded i'd had miscarriage at 5 weeks. Bled for a couple of days, really heavier than my normal period, just one more day than usual.

I felt very down, got horribly drunk, and cried it out... DF very supportive and upset also, because we both really want this. After first day of sadness, i felt ok, more disappointed than sad, although still quite jealous/envious when a close friend and a family member announced pregnancy within a few days of MC. I'm quite clinical minded though, with a sciencey background, and i know that there would be a reason why poppy (yes, we'd already given a nickname - poppy because one pregnancy app said it was the size of a poppy seed!!) didnt stick - it was not a viable pregnancy probably for some genetic/chromosomal abnormality reasons.

So we went to my Dr as soon as i got back to Aus, and she said that early MC quite common, but the fact that we conceived was a good sign as we'd not gotten that far before. I had the blood test, and my beta-hcg levels had come back down to <2, and i also had an ultrasound (not an internal one - just a regular gel on the belly one) because Dr wanted to rule out fibroids - though she said she didnt think that i would have any because i've not had symptoms of that before - but she just wanted to check because i've not had an ultrasound before. First available ultrasound appointment was early the following week, and because Dr had said that my body had obviously successfully carried out the termination, it was fine to start trying again right away. Started using the digital ovulation test, and had a couple of negative days before getting the flashing smiley face on CD12 (had EWCM this day too). This flashing smiley face day coincided with the day of the ultrasound, and i asked the technician if he could tell if i was ovulating. He said it would appear so, from my RHS ovary. Woo hoo!! Next morning got the solid smiley face, so assumed Ovulation approx 24h later on CD14 (so much earlier than i expected based on last cycle where at least we were able to conceive). Did the deed prolifically over these few days!

So heres the thing ... now i'm at 7DPO and none of the symptoms i've been havin in the last week are like what i had the previous conception-MC cycle. So i'm starting to get all down that we've not conceived. I've had shocking migraine with aura and nausea (4DPO-6DPO), which i have assumed is because of work stresses at the moment (which are significant) and a bit of a skin breakout. I've had next to no cramping, my boobs have not been sore. The only thing which is similar is a general 'wet' feeling down there which i definitely had last TWW. These symptoms are also not totally like my normal AF cycles, where i think i'm usually pretty 'dry', but do get skin breakouts and cramps and nausea in the 4-5 days before AF (ie from today), and some cycles i have migraine at ~CD23. The skin breakouts and migraine have def started earlier than i would expect for my normal PMS, and the nausea i have put down to the migraine this time. I POAS this morning (why do i do this to myself??!! LOL!!!) which was negative of course! I still have my fingers crossed, but my instincts are telling me that this isnt the cycle for us... Its doing my head in!!!!

So the questions i have for you folks are:
- has anyone had success the cycle immediately after an early MC?
- has anyone experience similar TWW symptoms to me and had their BFP?
- has anyone noticed definite differences in TWW symptoms when comparing 'negative' cycles versus 'MC' cycles versus 'viable pregnancy' cycles?
- whats the earliest DPO you've had BFP?

Looking forward to chatting to some of you gals :)

PS SORRY FOR THE EXCEPTIONALLY LONG POST!!
MelbVic
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Re: Looking for a TWW buddy

Postby IslandMom » Fri Feb 19, 2016 5:53 am

Hi Mel!

I just had a huge post written up for you and hit backspace on accident or something! :doh:

Don't have time to write it all up again now, but wanted to say welcome! I know of many women who have gotten pregnant the month following a m/c or chemical pregnancy(which sounds like what you had). I hope these signs are promising for you this cycle. On a side note, I can't believe your periods only last two days - and are light at that! Very odd! Lucky even?

Do you chart?
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Re: Looking for a TWW buddy

Postby MelbVic » Sat Feb 20, 2016 10:48 pm

Hi Islandmom, thanks for the reply :) (don't you hate it when a computer glitch deletes a whole heap of stuff!! D'oh!)

Yeh, I guess I am pretty lucky to have such 'easy' periods! I was on birth control pills for a very long time - about 15yr, and the had to switch to mini pill because of migraines - and ever since I was on mini pill, and then after I stopped taking it, they've just been really light! When we started trying I was a bit worried it might mean I was less fertile or something, but everything has checked out ok.

I do chart - in as much as I monitor (obsessively!) all symptoms, CM (if I remember to pay attention!), and this month I've been temping, which I'm finding quite interesting, but as I have no other month as a reference don't really know what to mAke of it yet!

That's great to hear that you know of many others who have fallen pregnant the cycle after a miscarriage/chemical pregnancy ... Gives me hope that it's possible for me!! I'm now at 9DPO and last month this is when I got my first positive pregnancy test, but I've not had one yet... Even after 'tweaking' the photo!!!

Are you TTC#1?
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Re: Looking for a TWW buddy

Postby Nickysy » Sun Feb 21, 2016 1:11 pm

Hello mel. Sorry to hear about your MC. I have never been pregnant before. Me (32), DH (30), trying for baby no. 1 since sep 2015. 6 cycles so far, and all BFNs. Currently i am 4 dpo right now. So, i have def read that a lot of Females get pregnant immediately after MC. The fact that you got pregnant is def a good sign. Fxing, you get that sticky BFP soon. And its not necessary that the symptoms have to be same in each pregnancy, scientifically speaking, even in the same person. So i hope that the tww passes by super quick for you. And try not to get too disheartened. I know easier said than done, but you will def find support from a lot of ladies on this forum. Good luck. And post a pic of your temp chart if you can.
Image
My Ovulation Chart


Me(33), DH (31), Ttc#1 since Sep 2015
Mild endometriosis and PCOD diagnosed feb 2015, DH: Slightly low morphology, great counts.

Nov-Dec 2015- Clomid plus trigger- BFN
HSG-Feb 2016: Tubes perfectly clear
March 2016 IUI: Clomid+Estrogen+ HCG trigger+ Progesterone: BFN
Feb and March 2017- IUI ( Clomid + Hcg Trigger+ Progesterone)- BFN

IVF#1- May-June 2017: 6 embabies frozen on day 3. No fresh transfer.

FET#1- Oct 2017: 3 embabies * day 3 Transferred. Chemical pregnancy.
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Re: Looking for a TWW buddy

Postby MelbVic » Sun Feb 21, 2016 5:42 pm

Thanks Nicky for the reply. I have done a bit more internet searching, and yes it does seem like some ladies are lucky enough to fall pregnant on the cycle immediately following miscarriage - and it turns out a friend i was chatting to yesterday, well thats exactly what happened to her! I didnt even know that she'd had a miscarriage!

This month is my first month recording my bbt, so i dont really have anything to compare to, but this morning my temp dropped to my coverline - i burst into tears! So bitterly disappointed because i know a drop means that ones period is coming really soon (although it is a few days earlier than i would have expected - period is due Thurs 25th feb) ... but then i started reading about implantation dips ... now i just dont know what to think!! Trying desperately not to get my hopes up too high that my temp drop today is this!

I've just become so obsessed with TTC, its sadly starting to affect my work - does anyone have any suggestions for coping mechanisms during the TWW??

temp chart 22-2-16.jpg
Today's (22nd Feb) chart
temp chart 22-2-16.jpg (82.23 KiB) Viewed 1050 times
MelbVic
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Re: Looking for a TWW buddy

Postby Nickysy » Sun Feb 21, 2016 9:55 pm

Mel, don't be so hard on yourself! A lot of us have gone through the same anxiety month after month. Yes, its difficult, it's bloody difficult to deal with it. So i know, just relax never works specially when you want something that bad. Just try to make a plan for tww. Exercise, yoga, meditation, short trips, family, hobby, anything that can be a bit more constructive. Good luck hun. I hope your temp drop off is indeed implantation dip and the temp goes back up tom.
Image
My Ovulation Chart


Me(33), DH (31), Ttc#1 since Sep 2015
Mild endometriosis and PCOD diagnosed feb 2015, DH: Slightly low morphology, great counts.

Nov-Dec 2015- Clomid plus trigger- BFN
HSG-Feb 2016: Tubes perfectly clear
March 2016 IUI: Clomid+Estrogen+ HCG trigger+ Progesterone: BFN
Feb and March 2017- IUI ( Clomid + Hcg Trigger+ Progesterone)- BFN

IVF#1- May-June 2017: 6 embabies frozen on day 3. No fresh transfer.

FET#1- Oct 2017: 3 embabies * day 3 Transferred. Chemical pregnancy.
Nickysy
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Re: Looking for a TWW buddy

Postby MelbVic » Sun Feb 21, 2016 11:50 pm

Thats great advice Nicky - i dont really have any hobbies, but i might sign up for a few more pilates classes to keep me distracted! i was nowhere near as bad/obsessed the last few months as i am currently - i think its worse because we came so close with actually getting a positive HPT last month! My poor DF - i think hes a bit concerned! Lol!

Will be keeping everything crossed that its implantation dip and i'm still in ... still no AF yet, and looking at previous symptoms, other than getting worse skin now than i've had in a long time, and a bit of gas, i'm not really getting my 'normal' PMS profile. From what i've read, it seems to be more common for AF to arrive on the day of the drop in BBT than after ... but have also read other sites where doctors have said that the implantation dip doesnt exist! Its hard to know what to believe!
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Re: Looking for a TWW buddy

Postby Nickysy » Mon Feb 22, 2016 12:05 am

Yup, a lot of doctors think that implantation dip is a myth.. Doesnt matter.. Just glad you decided to go for pilates class. Sometimes, distraction is the best policy. I was pretty worked up myself in month of dec, so when AF arrived in jan, i cudnt take it, and spent a week crying. But have been in a better frame of mind after that. Wasnt that upset in feb. Distractions helped a lot. Good luck. Try and enjoy this time to bond with your DH.
Image
My Ovulation Chart


Me(33), DH (31), Ttc#1 since Sep 2015
Mild endometriosis and PCOD diagnosed feb 2015, DH: Slightly low morphology, great counts.

Nov-Dec 2015- Clomid plus trigger- BFN
HSG-Feb 2016: Tubes perfectly clear
March 2016 IUI: Clomid+Estrogen+ HCG trigger+ Progesterone: BFN
Feb and March 2017- IUI ( Clomid + Hcg Trigger+ Progesterone)- BFN

IVF#1- May-June 2017: 6 embabies frozen on day 3. No fresh transfer.

FET#1- Oct 2017: 3 embabies * day 3 Transferred. Chemical pregnancy.
Nickysy
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 1108
Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2015 8:15 am


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