Baby shower

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Baby shower

Postby MrsR » Thu Mar 15, 2012 1:09 am

Any tips for how to cope with going to a baby shower this weekend???
Me: 31
DH: 37
TTC #1 since August 2011
Feb 2012: complete m/c @ 7/40

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Postby MrsR » Sun Apr 15, 2012 3:48 pm

No replies, but 117 people have read this, so I thought I'd let you know, in case it helps anyone else:
I went to the baby shower, and it was around the time AF was due.
The whole thing was a bad mistake. But it was for a good friend, so I thought I'd better be there.
There were screeching pregnant women everywhere who couldn't talk about anything else (to the point that the Mum-to-be whose shower it was, sat in a corner with us non-pregnant people because it was getting a bit much I think).
Anyway I really shouldn't have gone, it was my first month TTC after our miscarriage and it seemed to help me along to a bit of an emotional breakdown when AF showed up the next day. I ended up taking 2 weeks off work and feeling bit better now.
For that reason, I told my friend I would NOT be visiting her in the hospital as AF would be due again when she would be delivering. I will go and see her and the baby at home next week. She was VERY understanding. She herself did not get pregnant easily.
The lesson:
Protect yourself above all! If it feels like it's going to tip you over the edge, make your excuses and go to the movies!
Good luck everyone x
Me: 31
DH: 37
TTC #1 since August 2011
Feb 2012: complete m/c @ 7/40

ImageMake a pregnancy ticker
MrsR
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Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:00 am

Postby darlingdixie51 » Mon Apr 23, 2012 5:32 pm

I first must say that I'm sorry it was such a rough experience for you and that it sounds like you regret attending in the end.

I had a somewhat "similar" experience except for the fact that one of my close friends baby shower overlapped with me just finding out that I should expect a miscarriage because my levels weren't improving and the ultrasound showed no viable fetus. My friend told me that she totally understood if I didn't come to her shower (she had a miscarriage with her first pregnancy before going on to have her first daughter and then the most recent little girl). I couldn't see myself not going and supporting her in such a happy moment even though all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and hide from the world.

It was difficult at times because I would occasionally let the thought into my mind of how this won't be me planning a shower in coming months etc etc etc. Thankfully, it was a co-ed shower so my hubby stuck by my side the entire time and I made it through. I am glad that even as hard as it was that I went because it isn't something you get to do over and I would have not forgiven myself in the end if I weren't there to support my friend.

I also made it to the hospital within hours of her delivery and held that baby girl with encouragement. It was just something I needed to do so I didn't dwell on what wasn't to be with my own baby. Not saying it wasn't hard, but again I'm glad that I did. Now I actually babysit on a regular basis that little girl and in an odd way she has proved almost therapy for me.

I do hope that in time you feel better and are able to find some type of comfort in being there for your friend at her shower. It will never be easy that I know, but it does help the situation somewhat.
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