I need to vent

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I need to vent

Postby baby4me2012 » Sun May 13, 2012 5:58 am

So, I made a doctor's appointment for friday. My period was 2 weeks and 3 days late. I had all the symptoms nausea and dizziness, especially. I had been convinced that I was pregnant this time. And as if mother's day isn't the worst day anyway for someone ttc, she had to show up :af: Today of all days, she came. This is the most rotten, horrible, awful day. Mother's day is the worst and on top of that I get yet another reminder that I am a reproductive failure as well as suffering through all this mother's day hoopla from everyone who can concieve. I wish I could just disappear, I am absolutely devastated.
I am 28 years old, dp is 36
We have been ttc for 6 months
Diagnosed with PCOS May 2008
Prescribed Metformin May 2008
Lost An Angel on December 31, 2011 @ 5 weeks
Lost another Angel @ 8 weeks on August 1, 2012 due to a complete Molar Pregnancy
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Postby lcp710 » Tue May 15, 2012 6:54 am

I'm so sorry about AF showing up on Mother's Day. She showed up for me the Thursday before. And I was three days late so I really thought this was our month. I think I may have had a chemical pregnancy because my cramps were the worst I've had in months, and a bit of clotting (sorry if tmi). So we're on our third cycle of Clomid, then I don't know what. I'm about ready to take a break. It's just so stressful and devastating when AF shows up every month. I'm 33 and so is DH so I feel like we're just getting older and older. We might start looking into adoption soon...don't know how I feel about IVF and it's so expensive!

I hope you're doing better today! We're all here if you need to chat :)

Leigh
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Postby baby4me2012 » Tue May 15, 2012 4:39 pm

Leigh, thank you very much for responding. It makes me feel alot better to know that I'm not alone. I'm sorry that it didn't work out for either of us this month. I am considering trying clomid, but the doctor wants me to do opk's for 3 months. It is so hard testing every month and getting negatives. I also feel like I'm not getting any younger. I feel like it's a constant battle between my age and ttc. Everyone tells me I'm so young, not to worry it will happen. Of course they're pregnant or have kids, so how could they understand? I feel like no one does. I wish you luck with whatever you decide between ttc or adoption. I will support you all the way. Hopefully we can keep in touch. I could really use some support as well as you. Private message me anytime you would like. Good luck!
I am 28 years old, dp is 36
We have been ttc for 6 months
Diagnosed with PCOS May 2008
Prescribed Metformin May 2008
Lost An Angel on December 31, 2011 @ 5 weeks
Lost another Angel @ 8 weeks on August 1, 2012 due to a complete Molar Pregnancy
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Postby lcp710 » Tue May 15, 2012 7:04 pm

I know what you mean about not getting any younger. DH and I are both 33 so we really aren't getting younger! It definitely gets harder every month. I am so tired of seeing BFNs and then hearing about all my friends having babies. Almost all of my close friends have one or two kids and I feel like we're being punished because we waited to get married and waited to try for children...we wanted to be financially stable and mentally ready for kids before we actively started trying. And unfortunately, I am left out a lot with my friends now because they all have kids and I don't. They have all joined MOPs groups and I have nothing in common with them. It's so sad sometimes.

But I am trying to stay positive this month. I will take my last Clomid pill tomorrow and have acupuncture again next Thursday so fingers crossed for a positive May :)

Hope things are going well for you!

Leigh
Married my best friend on July 10, 2010
We have a chocolate lab mix, Bailey, 5 yrs. old :-)
TTC #1 since March 2011
Me 34, DH 35
March 2013 - Follistim 75, Ovidrel, Progesterone, BFP on April 11, 2013!!!!!
Beta #1 April 15, 2013 - 714
Beta #2 April 17, 2013 - 1641
5/6/13: TWO heartbeats!!! Baby #1 - 135 and Baby #2 - 154!!!
5/22: Still have strong heartbeats and fraternal twins! Baby A - 179, and Baby B - 174!!!!
6/12: Baby A (164) and Baby B (162) doing great! Finally out of the first trimester :)
8/8: BOY & GIRL!!!!!! So freaking excited :)
9/21: Luke Allen born at 8:54 p.m.
9/22: Emily Jean born at 12:02 a.m.
Babies are doing well at CHKD!
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Postby nevergivingup » Wed May 16, 2012 5:30 am

Hi Ladies, lcp710 i totally know how you feel, while my friends were just popping out kids b4 they were married DH and I decided to wait to get married and halfway finish my schooling of course but now that we're ready im coming up short...i had 2 m/c and currently getting over the 2nd now but now i feel as though if i wouldve tried b4 i was married i know we it wouldve happened :roll: and Baby4me i totally understand Mothers Day was awful for me too bc while all my friends are being told "HMD", i was walking ar bleeding due to yet another failed attempt and makes it worse my BF is calling me everyday to tell me of her little 3rd trimester bean moving all around in her stomach and some days i just ignore the phone call. So dont worry ladies you're not alone. You have to stay positive and find something good out of it...mine is my HCG is back down to 0 so DH and I can try again soon as the bleeding stop :roll: Hopefully the 3rd time will be the charm!

Good Luck Ladies
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Me (26) DH (31) :love:
M/C 02/27/2012 @ 12 wks :angel2:
M/C 05/04/12 @ 5wks :angel2:
M/C 08/10/12 @ 7wks :angel2:

Finally God has given us a baby; Baby Tyler born 02/26/2013. Mommy n Daddy never been more in love Thanking only God
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Postby lcp710 » Wed May 16, 2012 7:09 am

Nevergivingup - I am so sorry for your loss :-( I've never been pregnant so I've never experienced a miscarriage, but my friend (who just had baby #2 on Mother's Day) lost her first child at 6 months and had to deliver - it was awful! I remember her pain, and I'm sure you feel the same way she did. I'm glad that your HCG levels are down so you can start trying again! Best of luck to you :-)

I just took my last Clomid pill for this month. If we don't get pregnant this go round (our 3rd round of Clomid), I think we might take a break. It just gets so difficult every month to see that BFN.

But, like I said, I'm trying to stay positive! I start teaching my summer class tomorrow and that should keep me busy until July, then DH and I are going on vacation for a week...a much needed vacation!

I wish you both the best of luck and loads of baby dust! We're going to start BDing every other day starting tomorrow so FX :-)

Leigh
Married my best friend on July 10, 2010
We have a chocolate lab mix, Bailey, 5 yrs. old :-)
TTC #1 since March 2011
Me 34, DH 35
March 2013 - Follistim 75, Ovidrel, Progesterone, BFP on April 11, 2013!!!!!
Beta #1 April 15, 2013 - 714
Beta #2 April 17, 2013 - 1641
5/6/13: TWO heartbeats!!! Baby #1 - 135 and Baby #2 - 154!!!
5/22: Still have strong heartbeats and fraternal twins! Baby A - 179, and Baby B - 174!!!!
6/12: Baby A (164) and Baby B (162) doing great! Finally out of the first trimester :)
8/8: BOY & GIRL!!!!!! So freaking excited :)
9/21: Luke Allen born at 8:54 p.m.
9/22: Emily Jean born at 12:02 a.m.
Babies are doing well at CHKD!
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Postby nevergivingup » Wed May 16, 2012 8:50 am

Thanks Lcp710 and im sorry about your friend i hope she went on to have a healthy baby. But yes the experience is sad every time. Im sorry that the clomid hasnt work for you yet but im sure the BD every other day is a winner, inspite of all the IVF and Clomid we women try BD is the key. So your BD sounds like an awesome plan. YAEE for your Vacae! Women like us (BABY CRAZY) definitely need a Vacae.Im on vacae now from school w/ DH but unfortunately due to my bleeding situation we couldnt pack our BD toys so this vacae is misssing one thing so will U BD for me too :D With the break situation GOOD LUCK on that! I told myself i was going to break after each m/c but just like last time im going to run to get me some pre-seed and after each BD im going to raise these hips and make it ez for the sperm to travel....BUT REMIND YOU..IM ON BREAK...You see its a battle with the break thing that i cant win so GOOD LUCK TO U with the break but just relax and enjoy your vacae :D
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Me (26) DH (31) :love:
M/C 02/27/2012 @ 12 wks :angel2:
M/C 05/04/12 @ 5wks :angel2:
M/C 08/10/12 @ 7wks :angel2:

Finally God has given us a baby; Baby Tyler born 02/26/2013. Mommy n Daddy never been more in love Thanking only God
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Postby baby4me2012 » Wed May 16, 2012 11:39 am

Leigh, every month is a struggle for me. I had been on a break for a few months after I suspected a m/c on December 31. I was very disappointed so we took a couple months break. It is very hard to not think about ttc. I wish you luck if you decide to do that. I am going to try the opk's this month and then on to clomid, probably. As for me, I am surrounded by pregnant ladies if I'm not seeing them at work or in town, it's plastered all over facebook. It's so depressing. Don't worry, I dont fit in with my friends either, they all have kids as well. I wish you well. Hopefully we'll get our sticky beans this month.

Nevergivingup, I feel your pain. I had a m/c in late December. It was definately a blow to me. I had finally got pregnant but that failed too. I was devastated. It is so very hard when your friends are pregnant, it seems like it will never happen for you and you have a constant reminder from them about being pregnant, it is definately hard to deal with. I wish you the best of luck. Maybe we all can get a BFP this month. I will pray for sticky beans for us all!

Thanks for responding, will be praying for both you ladies!
I am 28 years old, dp is 36
We have been ttc for 6 months
Diagnosed with PCOS May 2008
Prescribed Metformin May 2008
Lost An Angel on December 31, 2011 @ 5 weeks
Lost another Angel @ 8 weeks on August 1, 2012 due to a complete Molar Pregnancy
User avatar
baby4me2012
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Posts: 95
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Postby lcp710 » Fri May 18, 2012 8:29 am

Hi ladies! Just wanted to see how everyone was doing. I'm impatiently waiting to O, and I woke up with a uti this morning (grr...). Hope you're all doing well!
Married my best friend on July 10, 2010
We have a chocolate lab mix, Bailey, 5 yrs. old :-)
TTC #1 since March 2011
Me 34, DH 35
March 2013 - Follistim 75, Ovidrel, Progesterone, BFP on April 11, 2013!!!!!
Beta #1 April 15, 2013 - 714
Beta #2 April 17, 2013 - 1641
5/6/13: TWO heartbeats!!! Baby #1 - 135 and Baby #2 - 154!!!
5/22: Still have strong heartbeats and fraternal twins! Baby A - 179, and Baby B - 174!!!!
6/12: Baby A (164) and Baby B (162) doing great! Finally out of the first trimester :)
8/8: BOY & GIRL!!!!!! So freaking excited :)
9/21: Luke Allen born at 8:54 p.m.
9/22: Emily Jean born at 12:02 a.m.
Babies are doing well at CHKD!
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Postby nevergivingup » Fri May 18, 2012 2:01 pm

Hi lcp710, Im fine on my end, unfortunately you are not the only one who is impatient....While you're waiting to :o: im waiting to STOP Bleeding! As soon as i think my body has pushed it out due to no spotting on my pad for like 3 days, i find myself dissappointed once again when i go to the restroom and wipe. Today was a bad also, i decided to treat myself and by me something but ended up buying my BFF whose 28wks pregnant something for her B-Day and my SIL newborn baby(bc i am the Godmother)...it was quite depressing. The baby clothing store had a million pregnant women walking around me in all belly sizes even the 2 CASHIERS were pregnant and there i was w/ an almost flat tummy with nothing in it BUT FOOD :cry: so shopping was not therapy for me, it made me even more depressed :| But Im hoping you :o: soon. Are u using opk's or doing the BBT or temping?
__________________________________

Image
Me (26) DH (31) :love:
M/C 02/27/2012 @ 12 wks :angel2:
M/C 05/04/12 @ 5wks :angel2:
M/C 08/10/12 @ 7wks :angel2:

Finally God has given us a baby; Baby Tyler born 02/26/2013. Mommy n Daddy never been more in love Thanking only God
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Postby lcp710 » Sat May 19, 2012 1:05 pm

Nevergivingup...you are definitely going through a lot right now. I'm sorry the bleeding hasn't stopped. I pray it will soon!

And I know what you mean about pregnant people everywhere! My best friend just gave birth on Mother's Day, another friend due in 3 weeks, and another just announced today on Facebook that she's having baby #3. I just don't know how much more I can take. I mean, I guess we've technically only been trying three months because I wasn't ovulating before the Clomid, but geez! I'm still tempted to take a break if we don't get preggo this month, but DH wants to keep trying. I guess we just need to wait and see what happens this go round.

I leave for a conference tomorrow, but I'm supposed to O on Monday, so hopefully we're covering our bases today and tomorrow since I won't be home until Tuesday. It figures that I need to go out of town around the time of O...
Married my best friend on July 10, 2010
We have a chocolate lab mix, Bailey, 5 yrs. old :-)
TTC #1 since March 2011
Me 34, DH 35
March 2013 - Follistim 75, Ovidrel, Progesterone, BFP on April 11, 2013!!!!!
Beta #1 April 15, 2013 - 714
Beta #2 April 17, 2013 - 1641
5/6/13: TWO heartbeats!!! Baby #1 - 135 and Baby #2 - 154!!!
5/22: Still have strong heartbeats and fraternal twins! Baby A - 179, and Baby B - 174!!!!
6/12: Baby A (164) and Baby B (162) doing great! Finally out of the first trimester :)
8/8: BOY & GIRL!!!!!! So freaking excited :)
9/21: Luke Allen born at 8:54 p.m.
9/22: Emily Jean born at 12:02 a.m.
Babies are doing well at CHKD!
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Postby lcp710 » Tue May 22, 2012 5:10 pm

Hi ladies! Just seeing how everyone was doing. I'm just impatiently waiting to O...
Married my best friend on July 10, 2010
We have a chocolate lab mix, Bailey, 5 yrs. old :-)
TTC #1 since March 2011
Me 34, DH 35
March 2013 - Follistim 75, Ovidrel, Progesterone, BFP on April 11, 2013!!!!!
Beta #1 April 15, 2013 - 714
Beta #2 April 17, 2013 - 1641
5/6/13: TWO heartbeats!!! Baby #1 - 135 and Baby #2 - 154!!!
5/22: Still have strong heartbeats and fraternal twins! Baby A - 179, and Baby B - 174!!!!
6/12: Baby A (164) and Baby B (162) doing great! Finally out of the first trimester :)
8/8: BOY & GIRL!!!!!! So freaking excited :)
9/21: Luke Allen born at 8:54 p.m.
9/22: Emily Jean born at 12:02 a.m.
Babies are doing well at CHKD!
User avatar
lcp710
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Posts: 469
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Postby baby4me2012 » Tue May 22, 2012 6:27 pm

Hi Ladies, just seeing how everyone is doing? So sorry I havent been on, I have just been through alot this weekend. Nevergivingup, I feel your pain and I am so sorry that things havent got better for you. Lcp710, I am also impatiently waiting to O, I am nervous about my cycle this month (since it was 2 weeks late) I have no idea when that will be. I wish you ladies the best of luck, hope you girls have a great week.
I am 28 years old, dp is 36
We have been ttc for 6 months
Diagnosed with PCOS May 2008
Prescribed Metformin May 2008
Lost An Angel on December 31, 2011 @ 5 weeks
Lost another Angel @ 8 weeks on August 1, 2012 due to a complete Molar Pregnancy
User avatar
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Postby nevergivingup » Tue May 22, 2012 7:10 pm

Hi ladies, checking in :) It seems like we're all riding on this roller coaster together huh? thanks ladies for the support. I visited family members this wknd out of state so i wasnt on here. But of course im now spotting brown stuff so im guessing its still not safe enuff to BD. So the wait continues for me... lch710 so u totally understand me xcept you have more pregnant/new mommies close to you, i know it drives you crazy but you will get there soon! i keep away from FB and thank Goodness i do, i would be miserable bc i know every female is pregnant xcept us. I understand you wanting to take a break due to another dissappointment but im hoping you wont, if your DH wants to keep going then go for it. u never know if the next try might be your rainbow baby. Sometimes these cramps makes me want to give up but the thought of me being a mommy and finally giving DH his child makes me want to keep trying until i get my take home baby.Did you :o: this wknd and are u having signs yet?
baby4me2012 sorry you havent :o: yet. I understand your impatience bc im am also very impatience but KUP if you "O", we got to just keep pusing forward so i hope u "O" soon! We'll be ok girls, we cant do anything else but wait for each of our situations but we will get there. :D
__________________________________

Image
Me (26) DH (31) :love:
M/C 02/27/2012 @ 12 wks :angel2:
M/C 05/04/12 @ 5wks :angel2:
M/C 08/10/12 @ 7wks :angel2:

Finally God has given us a baby; Baby Tyler born 02/26/2013. Mommy n Daddy never been more in love Thanking only God
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Postby lcp710 » Wed May 23, 2012 8:42 am

Hey gals! Not much going on here...just waiting to O. All my opks have been negative so I don't know if Clomid worked is month. I have acupuncture tomorrow so maybe that will gets things going. At least my stress level is low since school is over and the summer college class I'm teaching is pretty easy and I have great students.

How are you gals feeling today? Anyone O yet?

Happy hump day (ha ha)!

Leigh
Married my best friend on July 10, 2010
We have a chocolate lab mix, Bailey, 5 yrs. old :-)
TTC #1 since March 2011
Me 34, DH 35
March 2013 - Follistim 75, Ovidrel, Progesterone, BFP on April 11, 2013!!!!!
Beta #1 April 15, 2013 - 714
Beta #2 April 17, 2013 - 1641
5/6/13: TWO heartbeats!!! Baby #1 - 135 and Baby #2 - 154!!!
5/22: Still have strong heartbeats and fraternal twins! Baby A - 179, and Baby B - 174!!!!
6/12: Baby A (164) and Baby B (162) doing great! Finally out of the first trimester :)
8/8: BOY & GIRL!!!!!! So freaking excited :)
9/21: Luke Allen born at 8:54 p.m.
9/22: Emily Jean born at 12:02 a.m.
Babies are doing well at CHKD!
User avatar
lcp710
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Posts: 469
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2012 12:00 am

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