Looking for support!

A special board for anyone TTC #1

Moderators: unaffected, JessM, southernbelle, maddy

Looking for support!

Postby northcarolinajen » Mon Feb 04, 2013 2:02 pm

Hi Everyone, I love this site and all the support out there. I'm getting a little depressed TTC and looking for some support. Here's my info:

I'm 28 years old
DH is 27 years old
TTC #1 for 5 months

I'm sure like a lot of you, I assumed I'd get pregnant right away! Not so easy, right ladies? I've been trying for 5 months total & using OPK's and temping for 4 of the months without any luck. I've been pretty quiet about TTC with my friends and family since I thought that might add to the pressure.

The only person I've been sharing my journey with is my sister-in-law. And she just started trying and-POOF-got pregnant after only 2 months. She called and told me the DAY OF her BFP. (That felt a little insensitive to me, since she knows I've been trying for months, but I'm probably just being over-senstive?) I'm happy for her of course, but also completely devastated at the same time. I cried for the past 2 days. I feel so hopeless. And now I have no one to talk to about it. DH is supportive, but I don't think he truly understands how I feel.

Any support would be greatly appreciated! This is so much harder than I thought it would be. Baby dust to you all.

Any help
northcarolinajen
Friend
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2013 1:50 pm

Re: Looking for support!

Postby Atroo2012 » Thu Feb 14, 2013 9:56 am

Hi there! Hope you find the support you're looking for here.

My husband and I have been trying for 3 months now and had to wait 5 months for me to get of meds to try. I didn't think it would happen right away, but I had no idea how hard this was going to be.

The month we started trying my friend told me she was pregnant (a surprise). For two months she just complained about how bad she felt and how I should be happy that I'm not feeling like that. Well now that she's into the 2nd tri she's feeling better, but said something so insensitive to me I can't bear to talk to her. Also the 2nd month I found out my SIL was pregnant with her second. Couldn't be happier for them, just a little sad it's not me yet. My other SIL is trying for her 3rd so I'm already trying to prepare myself for her news.

I don't have anyone to talk to about this besides my husband either. My mom thinks its too early to even be worrying. Since I've moved so much in my life I don't have friends in the area. It's hard. I don't want to burden DH so much, but he sees right through me, no poker face, and when he sees that I'm sad he wants to be there and talk. So I do know I'm blessed to have him.

I've always wanted children, I just never knew the pain of not having them yet would be so great.

I hope you're doing good and I'm praying it happens for you soon.
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/4206e1

Me: 27 Husband: 35
TTC #1 since December 2012
Cycle 4 BFP at 13 dpo 3/25/13
Atroo2012
TTC Queen
TTC Queen
 
Posts: 342
Joined: Fri Jan 18, 2013 11:37 am

Re: Looking for support!

Postby northcarolinajen » Fri Feb 15, 2013 7:28 am

Thanks so much for the reply. It helps just to know that someone else is going through a similar situation. I know how hard it is to hear people close to you getting pregnant so easily, especially if they are being insensitive about it.

I too have moved recently and don't have a lot of family or friends to confide in. This forum has been so great to hear from women going through the same thing. I never knew it would be so hard emotionally to go through this.

I'm in the TWW of my 6th cycle. I'm 8 DPO and feeling hopeful, but I definitely don't want to get my hopes up. If it doesn't happen this month, I'm going to make a doctor's appointment. I'm afraid there may be something wrong with me or DH since we have been timing it just right every month.

Thank you so much for your support. Thoughts and prayers to you. Fingers crossed this will be both our months for BFP'S!! :)
northcarolinajen
Friend
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2013 1:50 pm

Re: Looking for support!

Postby Atroo2012 » Fri Feb 15, 2013 8:40 pm

My prayers are with you too!

I'm seeing an obgyn in 2 weeks. This is only our 3rd month trying, but my gen doc wanted me to see one for a preconception appt. DH just went to see a urologist. He had surgery to correct a varicose vein when he was a teenager so he wanted to go make sure everything was okay. His doc said he shouldn't worry. Told him to come back in 4 months for a test (for a total of 6 months) since we are charting that doc thought we shouldn't wait a year. I'm a little worried about myself since I've had to deal with a lot of medical issues in the past 5 years. My doc didn't say I should have anything to worry about, doesn't mean I don't though.

This is all very emotionally trying. I'm already sick of the phrase "it'll happen when it happens if it's meant to." Or pregnant women complaining about how bad they feel. I wish that I could have an awesome reason like a baby for not feeling goos. Nothing more infuriating. I hope this experience teaches me to be more sensitive to people who are going through this.

I really hope it happens for you soon and that nothing is wrong to impede your efforts.
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/4206e1

Me: 27 Husband: 35
TTC #1 since December 2012
Cycle 4 BFP at 13 dpo 3/25/13
Atroo2012
TTC Queen
TTC Queen
 
Posts: 342
Joined: Fri Jan 18, 2013 11:37 am

Re: Looking for support!

Postby northcarolinajen » Mon Feb 18, 2013 7:28 am

Well, it looks like I'm out this month. :( I just made an appointment with a fertility specialist.

This is such an emotional struggle. Thank you for your supportive words. Prayers that we get our BFP's soon.
northcarolinajen
Friend
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2013 1:50 pm

Re: Looking for support!

Postby Atroo2012 » Mon Feb 18, 2013 7:55 am

I'm sorry. Hope everything goes well at your appointment. This a very hard time emotionally. If you want you can private message me sometime if you need support, vent, anything.
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/4206e1

Me: 27 Husband: 35
TTC #1 since December 2012
Cycle 4 BFP at 13 dpo 3/25/13
Atroo2012
TTC Queen
TTC Queen
 
Posts: 342
Joined: Fri Jan 18, 2013 11:37 am

Re: Looking for support!

Postby KMac010 » Tue Mar 05, 2013 2:05 pm

Hi there!

I can completely relate to your story! I joined this site for the same reason. Here's some background on me:

I'm 32 years old
DH is 28 years old
TTC #1 for 10 months

We've also kept our TTC efforts to only a select few folks in an attempt to keep from getting hit with unnecessary pressure, but I'm beginning to wonder if that's the best idea. Sometimes I wish everyone knew just so I wouldn't have to field the uncomfortable "no babies yet?" questions. I just think if people knew how long we'd been trying, maybe they would be more sensitive? I don't know.

This process is definitely way more difficult than I ever imagine it could be too - not just the TTC itself, but the effect is has on me emotionally. It's really draining. I'm just looking for anything that will help get me through this in a positive way! Also hoping I can help other women like me! I feel like so much of this is about being strong mentally and emotionally and I think being part of a group like this might be the best way to do that!

Best of luck with your FE! Hoping for BFPs for all!
Me: 34
DH: 31
TTC #1 for 18 months
Endo diagnosis with lapo removal 10/13
BFP 11/26/13
DS born 8/3/14 :)
KMac010
TTC Queen
TTC Queen
 
Posts: 315
Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2013 1:16 pm
Location: US

Re: Looking for support!

Postby radkitten » Thu Mar 07, 2013 8:09 am

KMac010 wrote:We've also kept our TTC efforts to only a select few folks in an attempt to keep from getting hit with unnecessary pressure, but I'm beginning to wonder if that's the best idea. Sometimes I wish everyone knew just so I wouldn't have to field the uncomfortable "no babies yet?" questions. I just think if people knew how long we'd been trying, maybe they would be more sensitive? I don't know.


This all depends on your family of course, but I think you would be surprised by just how insensitive people can be, knowing how long you have been trying. We've been trying for over 4 years now, and I am at a point that I just get bitchy with his family when they ask, or even better, when they try to "give advice" about how I should just relax, or go on vacation, or just adopt, or whatever they think is the reason we aren't conceiving.
Me (31) - Homozygous MTHFR A1298C, Endometriosis, Left Fallopian Tube removed
DH (33) - Normal
Married - 09/09/09

First ever :bfp: 5/6/13
5-17-13 - D&C and ectopic pregnancy removal at 5w5d. Lost left fallopian tube. Right ovarian cyst removed.

Aug 2013 - 1st clomid cycle (50mg CD3-7). 5 follies, missed ovulation, timed intercourse. BFN
Nov 2013 - Jan 2014 - Follicles all on the left.
Feb 2014 - 5mg Femara CD3-7 - Cyst on left ovary, 18mm follie right ovary! Trigger 2/20, IUI 2/22 BFN
October 2014 - IVF #1. Retrieval October 22nd?


Image
User avatar
radkitten
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 680
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2013 11:16 am
Location: Stow, Ohio

Re: Looking for support!

Postby KMac010 » Thu Mar 07, 2013 9:50 am

I will never understand why people who haven't experienced something will try to give advice on it! Especially if they know you've already been trying for so long - don't they think you've tried just about everything in the book??! Maybe it is better than we keep it to ourselves as much as possible. Even then, my mom (who is my BFF and I love dearly) tells me all the time that she just wishes I could relax and not stress it. All I can think is that's what I did for the first 6mo and it didn't get me anywhere. *Sigh*

I wish people could just be compasionate. Is it so hard to just say "I'm sorry you are having so much trouble" or "I can't imagine how difficult that must be?" And maybe focus more on just being there for us?
Me: 34
DH: 31
TTC #1 for 18 months
Endo diagnosis with lapo removal 10/13
BFP 11/26/13
DS born 8/3/14 :)
KMac010
TTC Queen
TTC Queen
 
Posts: 315
Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2013 1:16 pm
Location: US

Re: Looking for support!

Postby radkitten » Thu Mar 07, 2013 2:19 pm

KMac010 wrote:I will never understand why people who haven't experienced something will try to give advice on it! Especially if they know you've already been trying for so long - don't they think you've tried just about everything in the book??! Maybe it is better than we keep it to ourselves as much as possible. Even then, my mom (who is my BFF and I love dearly) tells me all the time that she just wishes I could relax and not stress it. All I can think is that's what I did for the first 6mo and it didn't get me anywhere. *Sigh*

I wish people could just be compasionate. Is it so hard to just say "I'm sorry you are having so much trouble" or "I can't imagine how difficult that must be?" And maybe focus more on just being there for us?


I am right there with you. The only person around me who "gets it" is my husband of course. And even then he admits he can't "get it" as far as how maddening it can become given the physical push you feel around it.

I really do wish people could just not ask, or be compassionate and just say they are sorry. One time his Aunt had the gaul to ask if we were BD'ing often enough, so I turned to her and asked if "She though f***ing every other day for 2 years was enough, or should I try harder", gave her a withering look and left the room before I broke down in tears. At this point I mostly hate going to family gatherings really since "We're getting old and should be getting on having kids if we truly want to have any" :x
Me (31) - Homozygous MTHFR A1298C, Endometriosis, Left Fallopian Tube removed
DH (33) - Normal
Married - 09/09/09

First ever :bfp: 5/6/13
5-17-13 - D&C and ectopic pregnancy removal at 5w5d. Lost left fallopian tube. Right ovarian cyst removed.

Aug 2013 - 1st clomid cycle (50mg CD3-7). 5 follies, missed ovulation, timed intercourse. BFN
Nov 2013 - Jan 2014 - Follicles all on the left.
Feb 2014 - 5mg Femara CD3-7 - Cyst on left ovary, 18mm follie right ovary! Trigger 2/20, IUI 2/22 BFN
October 2014 - IVF #1. Retrieval October 22nd?


Image
User avatar
radkitten
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 680
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2013 11:16 am
Location: Stow, Ohio

Re: Looking for support!

Postby ajs313 » Fri Mar 08, 2013 9:23 am

Yesterday my mom told me that if we want to start having children we should really get on it because soon I will be so old it will be dangerous to try! I am turning 36 next week. Ugh! So annoying! Does she really think that if she hadn't pointed that out I would not have noticed?????? I know she means well but it is so annoying!
Image
ajs313
TTC Queen
TTC Queen
 
Posts: 361
Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2013 8:02 am

Re: Looking for support!

Postby radkitten » Fri Mar 08, 2013 1:44 pm

ajs313 wrote:Yesterday my mom told me that if we want to start having children we should really get on it because soon I will be so old it will be dangerous to try! I am turning 36 next week. Ugh! So annoying! Does she really think that if she hadn't pointed that out I would not have noticed?????? I know she means well but it is so annoying!

=(

Yikes.

I get the same thing =(. I turn 31 on Monday and everyone likes to remind me that "it's all downhill from 35 if I want kids". Like I didn't already know that? :x
Me (31) - Homozygous MTHFR A1298C, Endometriosis, Left Fallopian Tube removed
DH (33) - Normal
Married - 09/09/09

First ever :bfp: 5/6/13
5-17-13 - D&C and ectopic pregnancy removal at 5w5d. Lost left fallopian tube. Right ovarian cyst removed.

Aug 2013 - 1st clomid cycle (50mg CD3-7). 5 follies, missed ovulation, timed intercourse. BFN
Nov 2013 - Jan 2014 - Follicles all on the left.
Feb 2014 - 5mg Femara CD3-7 - Cyst on left ovary, 18mm follie right ovary! Trigger 2/20, IUI 2/22 BFN
October 2014 - IVF #1. Retrieval October 22nd?


Image
User avatar
radkitten
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 680
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2013 11:16 am
Location: Stow, Ohio


Return to TTC Your First Baby