The Big O! Everything OVULATION related goes here, including OPK pics, questions about ovulation, etc.
Sun Jul 30, 2017 2:01 pm
Don't feel silly for holding out hope that there was another baby somehow holding on. I held onto similar hope that my bleeding was somehow not a mc (I only bleed very lightly with both losses, as I do with AF). But once the bloodwork work was back, I was crushed. I was also able to start processing things at that point, though.
I understand that fear of what the future holds. The statistics are in your favor, though. After one loss, most women go on to have healthy pregnancies. The only way to find out is to try again when you're ready.
I really do think your appointment will provide some closure for you, even if it is really hard to be there. All of this just takes time to process. Let me know how your appointment goes. To got this.
Mon Jul 31, 2017 10:05 am
Well, the doctor wasn't even there. I just got blood drawn and that was it. Didn't get to talk to anyone. They took 3 vials of blood this time instead of just one. I held it together really well. There was only one pregnant woman in the waiting room and I just tried not to pay her any attention. I'd have probably broke down had I actually gotten to talk to someone, though. Guess I'll see what they say when they call with results.
Mon Jul 31, 2017 10:14 am
Aw, that's kind of disappointing.
I'm glad you got through it ok, though. Do you know when they expect to get back to you?
Mon Jul 31, 2017 11:20 am
I think they're going to call me sometime tomorrow. I'm ready to know something and atleast get a few questions answered.
Is it normal that my bleeding keeps going back and forth from dark or bright red to brown?
Mon Jul 31, 2017 1:44 pm
I don't think there is a "normal" when it comes to mc bleeding. Like I said, I only had 2 days of dark wine and fresh red blood, then it stopped altogether. I have a friend who mc'd around that same time who bleed heavily with loss of cramps for 10 days, then nothing for over a week and had another gush of blood show up (in the middle of a baby shower, to add insult to injury!) and last several days again. After my bleeding was done, they told me I might be done, or it might come back and that it could be quite heavy and clotty.
As a general rule, brown blood is older blood, so it may just be working itself out and then fresh bleeding resumes. I don't think it's anything to worry about, though.
I hope the doctor gets back to you in a timely manner and your bleeding stops soon so you can move forward. This stuff is hard enough to deal with without the constant reminder of more blood. :/
Mon Jul 31, 2017 5:07 pm
I'm past ready for the bleeding to stop. It makes me feel down everytime I see it. I didn't expect to hear back from doctor today, but I'm still disappointed that they didn't call. I have done better today in general, though. Haven't cried all day and even managed to talk about it without crying. One day at a time, I suppose.
BeeCee, I can't thank you enough for being such a support and comfort throughout this. I told my family and a couple close friends, but I haven't felt like anyone else has truly understood how I felt besides you. I appreciate all the time you've taken to talk me through this each day. It means a lot.
Mon Jul 31, 2017 6:48 pm
Absolutely. I have been in your shoes and I get it. The only people who I was really able to talk to about it were on this site and I know how valuable that it's! I'm just paying it forward.
And you are right. You just have to take it one day at a time and do the best you can. I remember even feeling guilty about those first few days I realized I hadn't thought about it constantly, or when I was able to laugh at hubby's dumb jokes again. It felt like I was betraying my loss at first. But it's ok to let happiness back in, even if it's in little increments. Your first day without tears is a big step! It's weird to say it, but it kind of just becomes a part of who you are and you will be able to talk about it one day without the overwhelming sadness that accompanied it at first.
My wishes for you remain the same: I hope your doc calls soon and I hope your bleeding stops quickly!
Tue Aug 01, 2017 12:02 pm
How's today going? Are you back at work? Hope you're feeling a touch better!
Tue Aug 01, 2017 1:34 pm
I go back to work tomorrow. Hoping it will go okay and keep my mind preoccupied. It's got to be better than being at the house by myself, though. I've felt really anxious all day.
I'm really unhappy and trying not to cry. I'm so frustrated. My doctor isn't there today either, so he hasn't signed off on my results. They said they'd get a nurse to call me. I just want to know for sure and get some questions answered.
Bleeding has been very minimal so far today. Mainly just some light brown spotting. Maybe it's going to stop... Hopefully.
Tue Aug 01, 2017 3:59 pm
Oh that's so frustrating about the doctor. I have found with my office, if I call once, they might call me back after hours that day or after hours the next day. If I call twice, the receptionist will go all the nurse if she has time to talk to me. Sometimes I have to wait on the phone for like 15 minutes, but I do get to talk to her that way. It's not in my personality to be pushy, but sometimes that's what it takes.
It sounds like the bleeding is slowing down, so hopefully that will be done soon, too. I hope tomorrow goes ok. Now that the shock has with off a bit, I think you may be able to let it distract you. Fingers crossed you hear from your doctor soon, too!
Tue Aug 01, 2017 4:44 pm
I'm going to call them again first thing in the morning. I don't like to be bothersome, but I want to know something. It's frustrating. I have a few questions maybe you can help me out with.
How long do you need to wait to have sex after a miscarriage? Also, I read so many conflicting things where trying to conceive again is concerned. I've read about women getting pregnant within 2 weeks of their miscarriage. I've also read a lot about how you should wait, and give your uterus time to properly heal where you'll have a better chance of having a healthy pregnancy next time around.
Some websites have said you can try after you have your first cycle, others say 3 months, and so on. If you're really fertile after a miscarriage, I don't want to miss an opportunity to potentially conceive again, but at the same time, I don't want to conceive too soon and put another pregnancy at risk all because I didn't wait an adequate length of time. I'm so confused and it's upsetting not having any definitive answers.
Tue Aug 01, 2017 5:02 pm
My doctor said there is no medical reason to wait to try again. He said we were clear as soon as I felt ready emotionally (which was kind of like a switch flipped... One day i thought I'd never be ready, then suddenly I was). I asked my aunt as well, who is also an OBGYN and she said the same thing. They both said the advice to wait is usually given because it's hard to date a pregnancy if O occurs at an unusual time, which is coming after a mc. Since I chart and I know when I O, I didn't think waiting for AF was necessary.
As for sex, I'd say whenever you are comfortable. I wasn't interested at all for a couple of weeks after both of mine, but as O time drew near, I wanted to get back to trying so I was in a better headspace. There's no medical reason to wait in that, either. As terrible as it is, a miscarriage is another period as far as your body is concerned, so I'd think of it as AF if that helps you make up your mind on other things.
Tue Aug 01, 2017 5:21 pm
I had been undecided about trying again so soon, but I've been giving it some thought today. I think I might want to. I don't know. It's still hard to think about. I'm tearing up just thinking about all of this. I'm scared it will happen again, but at the same time, I'm 30, and if I ever want to have 2 or 3 kids, then I need to be trying now.
I had read a lot of conflicting information about sex after a miscarriage as well, and needing to wait a minimum of 2 weeks to reduce risk of infection. I have no interest right now, but I had intended to ask when I got a chance to talk to the nurse/doctor.
Tue Aug 01, 2017 6:11 pm
I haven't heard of risk of infection... Definitely something to ask the doctor about.
As for trying this cycle, you may find that by the time O draws close, you may have a sudden shift of opinion. That's what happened to me anyway. I think after the first one, I wanted to try because I wanted to "fix" the problem. I figured if I couldn't have that baby, at least I could have another one and it would ease the pain. But I didn't get a bfp that cycle and I hadn't exactly thought through how I'd feel if AF came. To be honest, it was pretty rough. I felt like I was losing my pregnancy all over again. Does that mean in hindsight I should have waited? Not necessarily. I know my end goal and I think the hope of possibly being pregnant again outweighed the temporary turmoil I felt when AF showed up. You'll just have to figure out what's right for you. And maybe there is no right answer... I just kind of played it by ear. It didn't go how I would have liked, but I'm still here. I'm still trying. And the pain of my losses has faded enough that I can move forward in hope (and, to be honest, quite a bit of fear!) I just don't feel like I have a choice. I want anything baby more than anything, so I'll take what I get on the journey to that end.
Wed Aug 02, 2017 8:02 am
They called and confirmed that I did have a miscarriage. My HCG is almost back to normal. It was 19 on Monday. They told me not to try again until after I have a normal cycle. I'm an emotional crying mess again. I knew that it had to have been a miscarriage, but I hung onto a tiny bit of hope that somehow maybe I'd be wrong. Stupid, I know. It just seems so unfair. I want a baby so bad.
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