Having 1 more & the judgements...

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Having 1 more & the judgements...

Postby NorthCountryGirl1219 » Tue Apr 17, 2012 7:08 am

:? I was just wondering if anyone has gone through this and how they handled the comments....i have 2 amazing,crazy children, a boy whos 5 and girl whos 3. i have only told a couple of close family members that i would like to have another, but im getting alot static about it "you already have a boy and a girl,why have more?" how do i explain that its not about gender but about the love i have for another human being?
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Postby allisonwi » Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:15 am

Sorry I can't help you any. Fortunatley my family is happy that we're hoping to have more. But that must be really frustrating for you :(
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#3: due 4/24/13
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Postby echam602 » Wed Apr 18, 2012 2:15 pm

I'm not even completely sure that we're going to TTC #3 but when I throw around the idea to family members they say the same thing. I have a 3yr old daughter & a 1yr old son. It's not about having one of each. It's about wanting to have another child.

I usually just say "Well the decision is up to me & my husband" and leave it at that.
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Postby BrtnyMiller » Fri Apr 20, 2012 4:46 am

I only have one son and I know we're going to get judgment from my DH's family. My reply to them is going to be "it's my life, not yours. my choice, not yours. my business, not yours. keep your thoughts to yourself, thanks."
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Postby NorthCountryGirl1219 » Fri Apr 20, 2012 7:24 am

I know i shouldnt care what other people say about it but its such a deeply personal and extrememly important choice to make that i cant help but want other people to be as excited as i am. but i do have supportive people too like my sister in law whos also ttc her 1st, she also faces a bit of opposition in her choice to start her family now. and now i have this supportive board!
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Postby toochay » Sat Apr 21, 2012 9:03 pm

opinions are like assholes... everyone has one.
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Postby reapette » Sun Apr 29, 2012 6:47 am

this is a little late but we are ttc#2 and i KNOW DH family will be giving us trouble when they find out. with #1 they wanted nothing to do with the baby until she was born, now they re her biggest fans....my daughters going on 2 and we want a sibling for her and have no told anyone, and plan to keep the pregnncy a secret until 20+weeks likes last time. you need to just do what is best for you and your family. forget what others think, they will change over time, and if they dont, then screw them.
Me- Sam 26 Dh- Caleb 24 DD1- 5 yrs, :angel: 7/9/12, DD2- 2 yrs, DD3-1 yr, Baby #4 due Jan 2016.
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Postby notbarbarabush » Sun Apr 29, 2012 6:17 pm

This is why I've kept my mouth shut to friends and family about TTC #2. I'm pretty sure everyone would be the opposite and excited for me and all in my business though. It seems 3 or more and then others get a negative opinion.
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Postby PDXMama » Tue May 01, 2012 6:26 pm

We're TTC #4 and haven't told anyone IRL for just that reason. (That and I don't think it's anyone's business. *lol*) We have three gorgeous girls and honestly are hoping for another girl. It's just easy having them all the same! I know that if people knew we were trying for another we'd get a combo of "ANOTHER ONE?" comments (which we got the whole time we were pg with #3) and "Trying for that boy?" comments which just isn't the case and I sort of resent, as though there's something wrong with our girls. I think it's made worse in our case by the fact that our oldest just turned 4 and people tend to be judgmental about the fact that they're fairly close together (14 months apart for the first two and 24 months apart from the middle to the youngest). Honestly though, it took us years to get our oldest! We knew we wanted more and saw no reason to wait! I wish people would just keep their opinions to themselves if they must have them.
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Postby amers2848 » Mon May 07, 2012 5:37 pm

I know I'm late on this thread, but it was a comfort to know others are feeling what I am. I am TTC (7 months now) #3, and I have to admit...the first two pregnancies were rough. I get really sick. I know no one would be happy about us trying, so I've told no one. But my heart aches for another. Getting discouraged b/c everyone I know is preggo it seems, and I seem to be in a rut. I tried for 10 months with my first, I lucked out and got preggo right away with my second, but now this time it seems harder ...again. But if God gives me another...I am not telling anyone till like 6 months...lol!
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Postby bri78 » Tue May 08, 2012 8:28 am

I wish I would have read this post before sharing with two of my SILs that me and DH were thinking of TTC #2! Everyone was so excited about DS that I expected nothing but support, but both said that its too soon, and we should wait, etc. They have succeeded in changing DH's mind, and I'm so sad now. My heart was set on it!

So I say definitely, it's your life, not theirs, you don't owe them any explanation! :)
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Postby ambernicole8484 » Tue May 08, 2012 10:15 am

Dh and I are ttc #2 and I just recently found out that his family doesn't want us to have another. In fact, when I had my m/c in Feb a few of them said it was for the best because another child would take away from our dd?!?
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Postby xXxJessicaxXx » Tue May 08, 2012 10:59 am

woooow girlie's it seem's like alot of family member's aint happy about having more children when its not even them or there choice. I will say im not in the same boat as you ladie's but i was, Iv been TTC number 2 for 2 year's now and my daughter is 2 years 2 month's old. YES BD'ing since she was 2 month's old. I never told my OH's family untill I had been TTC for nearly a year as i needed support but wasnt i wrong, What i got was A srew'd up face and ''even though it would be nice!!! ... can you really affort to have another child right now & would you be able to cope'' Day after day after day and i didnt even speak about it much. Then about 4 - 5 month's ago my FIL started saying ''have you got twin boys in there yet'' *lol*, that made me smile that there was someone out there that was happy for me and wanted a grandson or two lol as both his granchildren are girl's. My niece and my daughter. Then when i started being tested for infertility problem's I finally sucked up the courage to tell my family (mum, sister's so on) They was very happy to me, but sad that im having trouble TTC, Then after telling my MIL that iv been having fertility test's (as i was not going to tell my OH's family, even though his sister's and dad was happy for me) then after my FIL kept saying got them twin boys in there yet my MIL finally opened her eye's and relised It's what i wanted and hert's to hear my FIL asking that as i am having problems TTC, And she turned around (my MIL) and said ''NO M*** (my FIL's name sorry dont like to state name's) shes not because she's having trouble TTC, as my FIL and little SIL was the only ones that didnt no i was getting fertility test's. Now day's she spends more timing with me talking about whats happening next and what did the doctor say, but she used to say thing's before she decided its not her choice and to be happy for me... Thing's like... you dont need to go see the doctor your body might not just be ready yet trying to put me off going like im a bad mother or somethink but i know im not and still went. Which i glad i did as my doctor told me there's no such thing as my body not being ready yet as im in my prime time of concieveing. Still waiting to be reffered ATM but girlie's just remember, its your choice and if they dont like it just ignore them when they say things horrible then just ignore them and hopefully one day they will be happy for ya. FX'd girlie's this is your cycle, and to the one ladie that got betrayed by her SIL's and DH/OH for not TTC after a little ball s**t chat from his sister's, I really am sorry for ya. I hope one day soon, he will want to start TTC again. And Next Time keep it zipped, Because sometimes its best. Once i finally get my BFP i will be keeping it quite for as long as my mouth can stay shut and for my belly to pop out. lol. Sometime's its worth keeping it quite right girl's. x x x

Sending loads of baby dust to all x x x

PS sorry for any miss spelling but im shattered and im not even sitting up properly so typing is a little hard laying back. x x x
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Postby bri78 » Tue May 08, 2012 1:35 pm

jessica - I'm sorry youre having trouble conceiving and that everyone was givingyou a hard time about it at first. I hope you get your BFP soon, and im glad your family is now more supportive!!
I know sometimes its hard not sharing with your family something thats so important to you. DH's family was so anxious for us to have the first, and we hadnt even told them we were TTC! so i cant understand why they arent excited about the idea of #2...its not like they will be the ones taking care of them.
DS- 1
NOT ttc #2

Dx PCOS 2010
DCI has restored O!

<a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/292826">My Ovulation Chart</a>
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Postby xXxJessicaxXx » Wed May 09, 2012 12:14 am

Thank's bri, that was very nice of you. I Know it's hard but as it is your DH's side of the family that dont think you should, then my thought's of that (as it was my OH's mum who wasnt happy for me) is that they might think that you cant handle another baby/child and want there gran children to be looked after properly, but like i say let them think what ever they wont because we all know were gonna be great mother's with how ever many children we wont. right :D x Got My FX'd for all you lovly ladie's on here. Hope you Get them BFP's very soon. x x x
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