Big families...ttc or not?

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Big families...ttc or not?

Postby JNL07 » Sat Feb 23, 2013 7:42 am

:hi: ladies!!! DH and I have 4 children (7,4,3& 7 months) i guess i need to update my signature :D I just recently had a miscarriage about 2 weeks ago at 5-6 weeks. That pregnancy was completely unplanned and it actually frightened me a bit thinking about 5 kids!!But once the shock wore off we were so happy and excited!!! My hcg numbers dropped and baby was gone :cry: it left me confused and questioning whether I want a 5th child or not. Im 26 years old and I dont want to rush anything but I also dont want a huge age gap :| this is also my first mc so im not sure if im feeling like this because of the mc or.... Bc we truly want another. My plan is to re asses our situation this time next year (as we should be in a bigger house etc) but Dh thinks if we are g2 do it we should try this summer so theyre still close in age... Is it hard going from 4 to 5 children? And how does anyone actually make the decision to do so ? Lol my fam thinks its too much that I already have 4.... But I always say its my life & my family!! :x not to mention some of the reactions in public, people can be so rude! Help :oops:
Me~27 :love: DH~31 :babyb: ~8yrs :babyg: ~5yrs :babyg: ~4yrs :babyg: ~ 2 yrs
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Re: Big families...ttc or not?

Postby MillieVee » Sat Feb 23, 2013 9:57 am

Hey Liza!

I am sorry about the m/c. As unfortunate as it is, it seems to have shown you that you really might be ready to expand your family!

I am 27 with 2 kids and I know I want AT LEAST 2-3 more. I also want them to be relatively close together and DH and I had a very hard time trying to decide when to start trying for #3. In the end, after much debate and pro/con lists (yes, I'm crazy that way :wink: ), it happened when we were sitting down together for our Friday night family dinner:
The four of us were laughing and chatting and we just turned to each other and said "this is great, but there is something missing"...so I got back to charting and we are on our 2nd month actively TTC.

I have no way to answer your question, but I think that if you look into your heart, you will find the answer! People will say things like "why rush, you're so young" and "but how will you have time for so many young kids", but you know your family dynamics better than anyone and you will find a way to make it work!!

Also, from what I hear, the biggest adjustments in additional siblings when you go from 0 to 1 and 1 to 2 kids. After 4, many say "it's all the same".

Besides...I always say that young babies hardly take up any room. And you have all the equipment and clothing, so almost no extra cost!
Strap the newbie into a baby carrier, pop out a boob when they're hungry and you're good to go!

We might not have much of a social life in our 20s & 30s, but we'll be free by 50!!!

Good luck!
Me 27 DH 31
DS1- 4 DS2 - 2
TTC #3 (while breastfeeding) since Dec 2012
Chemical in Jan 2013
BFP on 31/03/13 @ 9dpo!!

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Re: Big families...ttc or not?

Postby JNL07 » Sun Feb 24, 2013 1:26 pm

:hi: Millie!! You are spot on!!!!!! We'll be free by 50 and maybe even have grand-babies to spoil and give back to their parents!! :rofl: I totally agree..going from 1-2 was KILLER for me! I took me months to get used to it. 2-3 was a breeze! I didn't even feel a difference and same from 3-4 :D Thank you for your advice! In the end it is our family and our decision. I guess Im just so used to worrying about everyone elses feelings and I need to start looking into how I feel about things. I guess if it were up to me we'd have another...and another...and another :wink: I think DH and I will continue to think about timing bc I know we both feel the same way. I guess being in the middle of selling our home & moving probably isnt a good time but I like to feel like we have a timeline of when we are going to ttc again because honestly it scares me to think we are done :cry: :cry: :cry: Is this a normal feeling? Im not one to enjoy pregnancy :roll: but I LOOOOOOVe my children!!!
Me~27 :love: DH~31 :babyb: ~8yrs :babyg: ~5yrs :babyg: ~4yrs :babyg: ~ 2 yrs
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Re: Big families...ttc or not?

Postby momto10plus » Tue Feb 26, 2013 9:56 pm

I have ttc every one of my children. I have had 2 losses back to back and pregnant again. Not having trouble conceiving but keeping the pregnancy all of a sudden. The only children I had it rough adjusting to was going from 1-2 kids and after that it was adding another little one to the family for everyone to love. :D
I have never worried about family and have stopped speaking to most of them because they think I should let them decide what size family I should have. Its there loss and it doesn't bother me wether we talk or not. I think everyone has there limit on how many children will complete there family or like me that doesn't have a limit and hopes to be blessed with as many as I'm meant to have. :D
~~Mom to 14 GREAT kids~~
Girl 11-18-92
Boy 2-20-95
Girl 5-29-97
Boy 3-11-99
Boy 12-04-01
Girl 10-07-03
Boy 8-03-05
Boy/Girl twins 5-15-07
Girl 8-11-08
Boy 5-15-10
Girl 4-04-11
Boy 5-02-12
Girl 10-18-13

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Re: Big families...ttc or not?

Postby MrsJenniferB » Mon May 27, 2013 10:03 am

The fact that you were disappointed after realizing there wouldn't be a 5th child tells me that you do want another deep down, and I personally wouldn't ignore that. When you're done, you're done, and most times I'm sure that it's unavoidably obvious to yourself. I'm in a somewhat similar situation, but I currently have 3 children, just miscarried our 4th and are currently trying for another baby as we do want a large family. Focusing on TTC has helped me deal with the miscarriage, honestly. I don't get pregnant easy, so during the miscarriage I couldn't help but question what I'm going to do if I can never have that fourth baby, know what I mean? It definitely gets easier with each child, and there's nothing that makes me happier than having a house full of crazy kids running around :)
DD, 10 ~~~ DS, 6 ~~~ DD, 2 ~~~ DD, 2 months -- Preggo w/ #5!
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Re: Big families...ttc or not?

Postby momto10plus » Mon May 27, 2013 11:28 am

I'm sorry for your loss. TTC helped me with my losses as well. I use opk's and I am usually pregnant within 2 cycles but sometimes 3.
~~Mom to 14 GREAT kids~~
Girl 11-18-92
Boy 2-20-95
Girl 5-29-97
Boy 3-11-99
Boy 12-04-01
Girl 10-07-03
Boy 8-03-05
Boy/Girl twins 5-15-07
Girl 8-11-08
Boy 5-15-10
Girl 4-04-11
Boy 5-02-12
Girl 10-18-13

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