Depressed

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Depressed

Postby ladyraider » Tue Mar 29, 2011 5:34 pm

I am so depressed right now. I have no one except DH to talk to, and talking to him I feel like a burden (since I feel sad pretty much all the time). He has been great, I just feel like, well if I say I'm okay, I'm lying, and If I say I'm sad, Im depressing. its a no win. I am so tired of this. I am so blessed to have my son, and honestly if it werent for him, I don't know what I would do. I feel like a failure. Ihate my body that keeps failing my poor babies. They did nothing wrong. My body keeps losing them and that kills me. I honeslty hate myself right now, and I say this only because I need to vent to those that understand. No one else does or can. God help us.
Renee, 34 Pete, 40
Peter Daniel born 7-15-09!! Our miracle!!
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Postby jelly_bean » Tue Mar 29, 2011 8:45 pm

:hugs: I am sorry you are going through this. M/C is a tough and lonely road. Have you had any testing for recurrent pregnancy loss?
Laura 37 DH 36
3 m/c :angel:
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Postby ladyraider » Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:46 pm

Thank you for replying. It really means a lot to me. I am starting to think that we are the only ones on this forum. Who knows, maybe everyone has gone to that pickle site, or maybe people are afraid to comment b/c it might happen to them. Not trying to be a debby downer, but I guess that is my mentality right now.

Yes we are considered recurrent and underwent major studies after our 4th loss. They couldn't find anything wrong so my doctors prescribed lovenox injections because they assume I have a blood clotting disorder. Thankfully it worked and we got our precious Danny. With this baby, however, I had a blighted ovum, so there was no baby. Just an empty sac. So in this case, Lovenox helped sustain the pregnancy, but there wasn't a pregnancy to sustain. Ugh, i just feel like a failure!! My body keeps failing my babies and it just hurts. But we are not giving up. We want one more, and then I will feel done.

How are you doing? Thank you for listening to me vent/ blab.
Renee, 34 Pete, 40
Peter Daniel born 7-15-09!! Our miracle!!
5 Angel Babies

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Postby 35ttc » Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:40 pm

Sweetie I am soo sorry that you are feeling this way. I wish there was something reassuring I could say that would help. I just hope that you are able to get through this period of feeling so down. I can't imagine having this happen. I just had my first miscarriage in Feb and I had a difficult time coping, can't imagine it happening over and over. :(
I am sending you positive energy, hoping you get you 2nd little bundle to take home. Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :kiss: :kiss:
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Postby Mae41083 » Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:05 pm

I've never had a m/c before nor have been able to get pregnant, so I couldn't imagine going through what you are going through now. I do understand the feelings of depression though. I am currently battling depression now. I also feel like a failure because I haven't been able to get pregnant amongst other things. I do know how terrible that feeling is. :hugs: to you and I hope that you not only feel better, but that you will have your BFP soon!
Me (Meaghan)-29
DH-31 (S/A: perfectly normal)
SS-8
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11/23: HSG-All clear
4/12: 1st RE appt.
Feb. cycle: 50 mg Clomid, Prenatals, B6, B12, L-Arginine, and Preseed=BFN
March cycle: Au naturale=BFN
April cycle: 50 mg Clomid, Prenatal, B6, B12, and Preseed=BFP on 4/17/12@10 DPO!!!

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Postby eh_ep » Thu Mar 31, 2011 9:55 am

I'm sorry your going through this, I have had 2 losses. And I remember the depression, it was horrible and I understand not being able to talk to DH about it because it felt like that was all I wanted to talk about.

Feel free to come and vent here as much as you need, it really helps to get your feeling out somehow. I found writing them down (in a journal or here) really helped me, because I could revisit my feelings and realize that even if it didn't feel like it I was getting better....

((( hugs))). I hope you get a little brother or sister for your DS soon
DD Caitlin Catherine 5lbs 15oz dec 20 '08
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:angel: M/C sept 1, 2007 5w1d
:angel: M/C Feb 6, 2008 11w3d D&C feb 8
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second beta april 29, 2008 - 16077!!!!
:hb: 126bpm 6w3d - 6.4mm (CRL)
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:angel: M/C Jan 28, 2014 5w3d
BFP June 24, 2024 11dpo
:angel: M/C July 1, 2014 4w4d
BFP May 20, 2015 9dpo
Beta #1 14dpo 101
Beta #2 16dpo 172
Beta #3 18dpo 414
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Postby HawkeyeGirl16 » Fri Apr 01, 2011 6:33 am

:hugs: I'm so sorry about all of your losses. Unfortunately, I can understand how you're feeling. I've been having a really tough time since losing my triplets. What I thought was going to be an instant family ended up being angels 3, 4, and 5. Dh and I finally felt like we were in the clear since we made it out of the first trimester and all of my OB appointments were going so well. Then, everything took a sudden turn and it was over just like that. I can't believe that it's been almost three months. I have no idea where all of that time has gone. I started taking an antidepressant a few weeks ago and it finally seems to be helping a little bit, but nothing really takes away the pain of the losses and the fear and anxiety associated with trying again. I'm hoping that you will heal quickly and get another take home baby soon.
Me: 28 DH: 30
We're TTC a little brother or sister for Mason! (Shh FB friends)
My blog: http://ttcwithpcosrpl.blogspot.com
PCOS, adenomyosis, RPL, & IC
7/09-8/10: Multiple cycles of IF medications
4/26/10 :angel: 8w3d
7/26/10 :angel: 5w0d
RPL testing: elevated anticardiolipin IgM
1/7/11: Triplet angels 19w4d due to IC Cadyn :angel: Adalyn :angel: Mikayla :angel:
5/24/11: :angel: 4w3d
6/21/11: :bfp: #5 Shirodkar cerclage & 17p
:hb: Our miracle baby Mason arrived safely 2/22/12 :hb:
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Postby waitingtobemommy » Fri Apr 01, 2011 8:04 am

So sorry you're having to go through this. I'm wishing the best for you and hope you can find some comfort! :hugs:
Me (Jen): 34, DH: 35
TTC #1 for 4.5 years
3 BFN IUI- 2011
1 BFP IUI- March 2011
1 BFP IVF- December 2011
1 BFP FET- May 2012
:angel: @ 5 weeks; March 2011
:angel2: @ 8 weeks; Jan. 2012-Trisomy 16

DS Owen Matthew born 1/17/13 via FET
Surprise natural BFP 8/3/14! EDD 4/10/15!
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