Losing my mind with waiting...

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Losing my mind with waiting...

Postby trpr » Fri May 04, 2012 6:49 am

I had a m/c last October at 8.5 weeks. During that pregnancy, I had all the usual symptoms, but everytime I went in for a sono (which was weekly because I am heterozygous for pro-thrombin gene mutation so I take lovonox during pregnancy and am monitored closely), the doctor kept measuring me a week behind where I thought I should have been. I was charting so I know exactly what the day should have been. Well, that pregnancy was lost at 8.5 weeks, although measured at 7.5 weeks. It passed naturally and I didn't need any procedures.

This time I've gotten pg again and have already had the feeling that this one is doomed from the start because I don't "feel" pregnant at all. I have "felt" pregnant for a few days here and there and then it goes away. I went for a sono yesterday and according to my calculations (charting again) I should be 5w5d, but I measured at 5w2d. The doctor is not concerned, but I am thinking that it is doomed again. I have another sono appointment next week. I don't feel anything in my abdomen though. No bump, no nothing, although I did feel something "there" a couple of days ago, it seems to have gone away. That's part of why I think it's doomed.

I am sitting here trying not to lose my mind with the waiting. Waiting is all I can do. I haven't told anyone other than my DH (of course) and my mom and dad that I am pregnant at all since I can't handle anyone's pity. I don't even want to talk to them right now because I can't handle it. All I can do it cry.

I am praying that if it has to be over this time, that it is over quickly so I can move forward. I could really use some words of advice right now from others who have been through this.
Me: 36 DH: 37
TTC #2 with irregular cycles/pcos and still bf my 2-year old
Using acupuncture/preseed
DD born 9/2009, conceived with Clomid
MC on 10/26/2011 at 8.5 weeks
BFP on 4/19/12 and I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic.
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Postby sinkme » Fri May 04, 2012 7:18 am

I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. I hope you're wrong and the pregnancy is still okay but I can certainly understand not getting your hopes up about it. I just recently had a MC myself. Right now I don't feel like ever trying again because I'm so afraid the same thing till happen.

Just wanted to send ((hugs)) Praying for you.
TTC #3 since 2/2012
:angel2: 04/12 @9 weeks
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Postby halifax41 » Fri May 04, 2012 7:52 am

I can understand your trepidation, as I have had several losses myself, but there is no reason to think this pregnacy is doomed. First of all you are way to early for a bump! Secondly U/S is not exact, especially so early when you are measuring something that is little more than a speck in size...being off by a couple of days is VERY normal, it's known accuracy in perfectly healthy pregnancy with precise conception times (IVF etc), still gives a margin of error of a few days either way(and also depends on the quality of U/S machine and skill of person measuring...if several people did it, they could all get slightly different numbers. Thirdly lack of symptoms this early means nothing as well...many women have no idea they are pregnant this early on, most true pregnancy symptoms don't start until further into pregnancy. I had none that early on and am now almost 35 weeks!

Try to relax and enjoy being pregnant.
Me- 46 DH- 45 DS 1
:angel: girl on July 2008 at 19 weeks, Triploidy.
:angel: May 2010 MM/C @11 weeks
Aug 2010 "chemical"
:angel: October 2010 M/C @ 7 weeks.

:angel: :angel: Feb 2011 MM/C @ 10 weeks, this time twins.
July 2011 "chemical"
+HPT Sept 27/2011
Finally success, baby boy arrived June 08/2012, born after 37 hours of labor and unexpected c-section.
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Postby trpr » Fri May 04, 2012 11:52 am

Thanks for the replies. The sono information does make me feel a little better, although not entirely since with DD the measurements were always exactly the same as my dates.

It's not that I'm not having symptoms at all, because I am having some breast tenderness on and off, increased appetite and a bit of nausea, peeing more often, emotional ups/downs, etc. The problem for me is that I don't "feel" pregnant in my belly at all. Like, no sensitivity and nothing noticeable when I lie on my stomach, even though I did have that several days ago but it disappeared, and I remember having that during the last pregnancy that I lost. I'm not expecting a huge baby bump yet, but I am expecting to feel some kind of sensation that something is "there". I don't remember when I felt that with DD, so that's part of my problem too. With the m/c, I remember feeling like my belly had suddently deflated or something, which is how I feel now, although when that happened last time I had already been spotting for several days.

I also don't emotionally feel pregnant at all. The last two times I was pregnant, I felt noticeably different. Right now, I just feel like myself. Like, I could even imagine going out to dinner and forgetting that I can't order a glass of wine. Yesterday I almost ate the rest of my daughter's bologna sandwich before I remembered that I'm not supposed to eat cold cuts. Is that normal?

I had a small bit of reddish spotting this past Wednesday and I definitely thought the worst, but I haven't had anything since then. My doctor isn't concerned, but I am. I really hope I'm wrong. The waiting is killing me since only time will tell me what I want to know.
Me: 36 DH: 37
TTC #2 with irregular cycles/pcos and still bf my 2-year old
Using acupuncture/preseed
DD born 9/2009, conceived with Clomid
MC on 10/26/2011 at 8.5 weeks
BFP on 4/19/12 and I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic.
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Postby Rubyru » Sat May 05, 2012 3:01 am

The fullness you felt in the last pregnancy was probably just bloat as the baby would still have been tucked behind your pelvic bone. U/s are regularly out by a few days and some babies develop slowly in the early days, this is even seen during IVF. Some eggs take longer to develop than other and ever pregnancy can be different. Have you ever seen I didn't know i was pregnant? I watched one today where a lady gave birth 11 months after giving birth to her son and had not known and did not appear to be pregnant. It happens.

I m/c in march and I am pg again. All I can be is hopeful. I do not want fear to ruin this pregnancy for me. Take care and I wish you all the best.
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Postby mommyofgirls » Sun May 06, 2012 8:10 pm

tpr, so far everything you said sounds normal to me. I also feel normal then all of a sudden the symptoms start.
With my MC I had several symptoms that I never had with my 3 healthy pregnancies. I had no or really sticky dc, major bloating-more than reg early pg bloating, I lost my keen sense of smell 4-5 days before the spotting started (granted I was still pg and continued to be pg for 3 more weeks after this), my boobs never hurt, my only pg I never had nausea.

My 2 pg's I had since my MC I was over the top worried. Hard not to be. After I passed 12 weeks I worried that my baby had some type of abnormailty since my angel most likely did as well due the severe growth restriction and hr of only 60bpm that was finally seen at the 8.5 week US visit.

With my last pregnancy I spotted/bled a week before my period was due and thought it was my period. I started to get night sickness and took a test to find out I was indeed pregnant. I had 4 betas and all were perfect doubling. I spotted till I was 6 weeks then stopped. Started spotting again at 8weeks till I was 10 weeks. All was fine and perfect! I saw for myself not all spotting/ bleeding can be bad.

Lots of hugs!
Me:32 DH: 31
:babyg: 3/16/1997
:babyg: 7/7/2006
My angel 1/16/2008 @ 9.5 weeks via D&C
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lagf.lilypie.com/yKX7m5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers" /></a>

:babyg::1/03/2009
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lbff.lilypie.com/jJl5m5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers" /></a>
BFP:8-10-10
Beta:8/11:121 Beta:8/13 345 Beta:8/17 2112
:babyg: My LOVE: Ella is here: April 8th, 2011
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Postby TDarrow » Mon May 07, 2012 7:26 am

I'm praying for you. MCs are hard. I had one in March and I'm officially on the TWW now. About 6DPO. They say every pregnancy is different. so keep your chin up. Have faith. Easier said than done I know. Maybe contact your doctor and let them know your fears and concerns. Maybe they can see you just to check things out to ease your mind. Keep us posted with your progress. God Bless!!!
Me: DOB 8-1-77 DH: DOB 3-7-79
DS#1: Born 11-10-04 BF'd for 7 months
DS#2: Born 12-26-12 BF'd for a lil over 13 months :-)
I love my family!!
God Bless!!

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Postby kaylaxkitten » Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:53 am

halifax41 wrote:I can understand your trepidation, as I have had several losses myself, but there is no reason to think this pregnacy is doomed. First of all you are way to early for a bump! Secondly U/S is not exact, especially so early when you are measuring something that is little more than a speck in size...being off by a couple of days is VERY normal, it's known accuracy in perfectly healthy pregnancy with precise conception times (IVF etc), still gives a margin of error of a few days either way(and also depends on the quality of U/S machine and skill of person measuring...if several people did it, they could all get slightly different numbers. Thirdly lack of symptoms this early means nothing as well...many women have no idea they are pregnant this early on, most true pregnancy symptoms don't start until further into pregnancy. I had none that early on and am now almost 35 weeks!

Try to relax and enjoy being pregnant.


What she said!
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