The Doctors say I never was

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The Doctors say I never was

Postby KettaTheSnowLeopard » Tue Jan 22, 2013 12:40 pm

Last night I went to the emergency room. The place I had chosen to interview for Midwives said it sounded like I was having a miscarriage. Since I'm only about 4-5 weeks, I hadn't yet had a positive test. But I've had all the symptoms: morning sickness (not just in the morning), bloodhound nose, cravings that my mom and grandma had (which I didn't learn until after I had been craving for a few days), areola glands starting to swell the last 1-2 days, breast and nipples very sore, mood swings...I had it all.
I had started spotting a few days ago, which sounded right on track for implantation bleeding. But, yesterday whenI woke up and stood out of bed, I just gushed blood.
After a urine and a number of blood tests and an ultra sound, the doctors say I'm not pregnant, I never was pregnant, but my right ovary is swollen, which could be releasing hormones making my body THINK I was pregnant.
I have no idea what to think or feel. My husband and I have been TTC for at least 6 months. Even if it wasn't real, it felt real, even to my husband. We both just broke down in each other's arms and cried. And I'm not getting any sympathy from any doctors. They are treating me like this was all in my head, and I hate it. The hospital we go to has a policy that no mother gets to go home without something to hold. They do this for miscarriages and even families who have to leave their babies in ICU. I asked if I could have one and they said no, because I wasn't really pregnant. That hurt so bad.
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Re: The Doctors say I never was

Postby gemmamcqueen » Tue Jan 22, 2013 1:19 pm

I couldn't read and run. Im so sorry to hear this. Regardless of what really happened, to you and your dh it was a pregnancy. That's all that counts. Whether you were pregnant or not doesn't come into the fact that you and him had invested hope into it. I would be fuming with the.doctors for the way they have treated you. You are a person and your feelings are important.

As for the policy, in theory it sounds absolutely lovely and in sure it's been a comfort to those women who have lost children. It's disgusting that they could tell you to your face that you couldnt have one. I would be looking into getting your dh to complain to whoever is in charge. It was cruel and insensitive on their part. You, put your feet up and take care of yourself x
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Re: The Doctors say I never was

Postby KettaTheSnowLeopard » Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:08 pm

I know it might sound weird, but my DH and I decided to name the "baby" Cassandra Morgan.
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Re: The Doctors say I never was

Postby gemmamcqueen » Thu Jan 24, 2013 6:50 am

Not weird at all. X
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