Blighted ovum at 10 weeks

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Blighted ovum at 10 weeks

Postby Mommabella » Fri Jan 25, 2013 7:56 am

I just had a D&c last Tuesday the 15th for a blighted ovum. This was my third miscarriage, but the first for my DH. I'm having trouble sorting through my emotions. A lot I this is xposted from my TTC forum because I didn't feel like typing it all out again. But I thought maybe some of you would have some words that could help me process this. My doc told me two days ago we needed to wait 1-2 months (she actually advise two) before trying again, which was hard to hear. I've been having dreams of babies suffocating, burning, etc and it is hard to deal with. I have so many emotions. it is a rough day for me. Im not sure what set me off, or if it is just the gray cold weather, but I'm down. I'm tired of people telling me that things happen for a reason or that things are better off. It makes me so angry. I think what would have been better off was me entering my second trimester next week, or finding out what I was having a few weeks after that. I think we would have been better off not having to explain to my five year old why his little brother or sister was in fact not coming. He cried horribly after that. I don’t know why this loss is affecting me more than my prior losses. Maybe because I am at a place where I am more prepared to bring a child into the world? Maybe because my husband wants it so badly where my ex husband never really wanted children. Maybe because I know Im running against time now… I don't know. I am angry that my friends and family IRL don’t seem to acknowledge that I've had a loss. That I wont have a place to go and grieve for my lost hopes and dreams. Im angry at my co-worker who is due around the same time as I was goes out to smoke every day still not even realizing what a gift she has. I am angry that I now have these doctors bills and the post pardem hormone changes and the painful breasts and all of these things that you are OK with because you have that sweet baby to hold, but I don’t have the sweet baby. Im angry that people tell me that I should be thankful for the children I have, as if this child was less important. Im angry that I feel like I might burst into tears anytime I see a baby, or talk to a pregnant friend, etc. Im sad. and I'm hurting, and everyone expects me to just bounce back. Maybe Im not ready to TTC again. but I feel so empty. I feel like I need to feel the growth of life again to get past this. It consumes my daily thoughts. Its hard to work, or play with my children or talk with my husband without thinking about it. Im angry that my body does this. Im angry that it happened so easily, so unexpectantly when I was younger and not ready, and that I had to suffer and fight to make ends meet, and now when I am older and happier and stable, it doesn’t. Im thankful for my children, don’t get me wrong, but it just feels like this huge ironic slap in the face. Someone told me yesterday that I should be happy, that at least I know I can get pregnant…but I think I feel less pain not knowing month after month than knowing and dealing with this. Worrying that the next time it happens, I could have the same outcome and be shattered again. Maybe that sounds insensitive. I don’t know. I have had a week to sit and stew over this. I thought I shed all my tears at the hospital, but I guess I was holding back and now it is all coming out. I didn’t know I could feel such anger and sadness.
Kim + Travis 10/13/12
:babyb: Connor 9/5/03
:babyb: Jack 12/22/07
:babyg: Isla 12/29/13

:angel: 3/7/05 :angel: :angel: 1/15/13 :angel: 4/1/13 :angel: :angel: 11/10/14

:bfp: SURPRISE! 10/23/14 EDD 7/9/15
11/7/14- Found out it's :baby: :baby: :shock:
11/10/14 -Ultrasound and bloodwork shows no heartbeats and HCG dropping :(
12/19/14 - genetic and blood disorder panels ordered
1/8/15 - tests confirm positive results for two mutations of MTHFR gene.

My sons are from a previous marriage, we have one daughter together and Multiple miscarriages.
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Re: Blighted ovum at 10 weeks

Postby Rebeljoi23 » Sat Jan 26, 2013 6:52 am

I feel for you. I'm so sick of "at least u know u can get pregnant" and "you're still young, you've got plenty of time".
I'm nearly 30 and thought I'd have kids by now. Even though I always knew my PCOS might make it difficult, it never occurred to me I'd have bigger problems.
I've been on Serophene (Clomid) to fall pregnant. It messes with your hormones, makes u an emotional wreck. I cry at the drop of a hat.
First attempt: three cycles, pregnant, blighted ovum m/c at 7wks, natural, 3 days in hospital.
Second attempt: four cycles, pregnant, blighted ovum 11wks, d&c.
It took me almost a year for the third attempt (curre ntly starting month 4). I saw a naturopath, went to acupuncture, spent a fair few hours reading miscarriage, grief and loss forums and crying hysterically. Became withdrawn and depressed, lost my full time job and got bumped to part time which puts my mortgage in jeapardy and less money for therapy.and gym (trying to lose weight... not going well so far...).
So now in on thyroid supplements, serophene, going to acupuncture and the gym, temp charting every morning and trying to keep my hopes up and my stress down. Everyone I see pregnant are drinking, smoking or complaining, and those with children threatening to give them away.
I've known I wanted to be a mother since I was 16. I'm worried it may never happen, or I'll have to go through the needles and thousands $ for IVF, then maybe the years and thousands $ for adoption... and maybe still end up with nothing. People I try to talk to either just feel sad and don't know what to say, or they say dumb things like, "you just gotta stay pos itive" "it will happen when it's ready" "it's God's plan" "just get some r n r" "these things happen" "oh yeah, I have a friend who had SIX miscarriages" really? Can't really blame them though. No one understands until they've been through it themselves.
There is NOTHING you can say that makes it better. Only time heals the wounds...
One piece of advice: don't start ttc when u feel like a teary wreck. Get yourself right first, even if it takes a bit more time than you would like. The stress won't help you at all.
Point of interest, the most common cause of blighted ovum is lack of genetic material or lack of hormones (progesterone). That's a place to start looking for answers if it happens again. .. so far I've found I have low thyroid (low temps, probably low progesterone too). I've been on supplements for months now and my average temp has come up about 0.3-0.4 of a degree which is significant! I'm hoping the Serophene plus thyroid medication plus acupuncture to relax my mind will all equal third time lucky!
Keeping my fingers crossed for both of us (hugs*)
Good luck!
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Re: Blighted ovum at 10 weeks

Postby MorePuppies » Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:11 pm

I am sorry to you both for your losses. I just went for my first appointment with my second pregnancy. 8w4d .
Blighted ovum. Your right there is nothing anyone can say. We well I only told two people (my DH doesn't know a broke and told my mom and my good friend that we are expecting.) So I had to go to them and say no more...That was really hard...but I was glad I told them and only them. It felt good to talk and also I wouldn't want to have to go around telling everyone now. My friend was thoughtful and said if I need to talk she was there for me. My mom was great she just kept telling me she loves me and she is proud of me...that just felt good...really there isn't anything to say but I just felt their honest love and support and that felt good.
But I am still sad and empty and I have so much going on in my life right now I feel like I need to put on a fake smile and power through.
I hope you get your Happy Healthy Babies!
I might be one and done...I am worried that this is a sign of we are older and shouldn't keep going. But our one little one is so wonderful and perfect - such a joy. I was so glad to have that cuddle bug today!
Me - 40
DH - 40
DS - 20 mos
m/c - 3/2013
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Re: Blighted ovum at 10 weeks

Postby hunnybunny23 » Tue Mar 19, 2013 11:07 am

im so sorry i went through this in september october last year. something was off at around 7 weeks i was booked in for a scan. they saw an empty sac no yolk sac or fetal pole. i went for a repeat u/s 2 weeks later the sac was collapsing and still no baby. we had the medication that day to start the process. we told a lot of people too. i understand your pain, i was told blighted ovum is rare and happens on an off chance. it took 5 months to conceive again. i am 26 now and it happened when i was 25, the drs told me it was a random event and something to do with how the egg and sperm formed at conception. i wish you all the best of luck
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me:26 OH: 28
DS born: 42w1d cs 14.05.09
DD born 42w1d induced VBAC Assisted forceps 15.04.11
DS2 40w4d Spontaneous natural 2VBAC 27.10.13
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Re: Blighted ovum at 10 weeks

Postby care327 » Thu Mar 21, 2013 10:59 am

mommabella its like u took most of what im feeling and typed it in here. i dont have any previous children but i feel the same way.. i held it together so well at the hospital n everytime someone asks how im doin.. but i go home by myself n cry n yell n feel hopeless =/
Me: Carrie 34
DH-35
DSS-16
DSS-14
DSD-12
DD in Heaven Faith Marie
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Fur Baby- Snoop Dogg 5
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Fur Baby Bizzy Bone 10 months

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TTC #1 Since May 2012
BFP feb 17, 2013
M/C march 11, 2013 @ 6w3d
Officially diagnosed with PCOS October 2013
January 2014- New SA shows very few sperm (7) =(
April 2014- Dr. Confirms we need re-do of reversal or IVF
October 14 2014- Surgery semi-successful. Tons of healthy sperm alive n swimming!
December 2014- SURGERY SUCCESS!!!!! 89 million spermies =)
Jan 5, 2015- BFP
Jan 13, 2015- MC
March 20, 2015 BFP!
Faith Marie born into our hearts 6/24/15 at 16 weeks.( triploidy) RIP babygirl

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Re: Blighted ovum at 10 weeks

Postby Kit0104 » Sat Apr 13, 2013 12:21 am

I know how you feel. Happened to me too. I had an ERPC last October when I was three months along. Had never heard of a blighted ovum before. We had been trying for nearly two years at that point (although we had a few months break in between as my lovely Mother died). Found out in Jan last year that I had a polyp in my womb that was acting like a contraceptive. I had an operation to remove it and was pregnant by the third cycle of trying after that. We were so happy ! I keep reliving the moment the pregnancy test came up positive. We have tried for five months since and I'm still not pregnant. This month I was so hopeful but I feel now that my period is coming again. I've just turned 39 and I am terrified that it will never happen. Our baby would have been due next month. We named her Hope. I still cry all the time. I feel so lost. I have put my trust in God but it is very difficult. Just don't know what to do. I am had blood tests done last week and my doctor doesn't seem concerned at all. Can anyone out there offer me some hope ?
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Re: Blighted ovum at 10 weeks

Postby MorePuppies » Mon Apr 22, 2013 2:46 am

Ladies, Sending prayers for us all.
Kit0104 I am 39, I'll be 40 in 2 months. We have one little beautiful son 1 yr. - We begining our journey again. But hubby and I agreed that if it does not work out this time...we will be thankful for each other and our son...and move on...I know that doesn't work for everyone...and I hope we can have one more beautiful healthy little one.
Honestly I know this is not helpful but I don't know if there is anything anyone can say to make one feel better after something like this. If you are willing...I suggest praying...somewhere inside of you will find hope and strength. I will pray for you too.
Me - 40
DH - 40
DS - 20 mos
m/c - 3/2013
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