Miscarriage number 2

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Miscarriage number 2

Postby RachGee » Fri Apr 26, 2013 8:09 pm

Last month I posted on this site, ecstatic about my BFP. Earlier this week, I lost it. Again.

I went through the same pain last October.. lost at 6 weeks. This time I made it to 8. There is such a deep emptiness inside of me I cannot relate to anything going on in the outside world right now. I feel punished. The pain is so intense, both physically and emotionally, it is likely the worst thing Ive experienced in my life. After 2 I cant help but to feel like there is something wrong with me. I cant believe the support Im getting from my husband.. because If I were him I feel like Id just be asking myself why I picked a broken woman, of all the women in the world. He deserves to have the joy of fatherhood.. and because of my inferior body he cant experience it.
One miscarriage is unfortunate.. but two? How could I be deprived of something I want so badly? Other women who dont even want babies have them.
We moved after we found out the news. From a two bedroom to a three bedroom. Now the third bedroom haunts me.
Im not sure what I expect from anyone reading this..I guess I just needed to vent somewhere.
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Re: Miscarriage number 2

Postby Mommabella » Thu May 02, 2013 10:04 am

I understand the need to vent. It's a horrible experience that will likely stick with you your entire life. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I just wanted to say that I have had 4 losses in my life, two this year, and I am currently expecting again, and I think this is my take home baby. I had the Same emotions you are feeling, but it will happen for you. Don't give up. There is always a rainbow. GL an hugs to you, dear.
Kim + Travis 10/13/12
:babyb: Connor 9/5/03
:babyb: Jack 12/22/07
:babyg: Isla 12/29/13

:angel: 3/7/05 :angel: :angel: 1/15/13 :angel: 4/1/13 :angel: :angel: 11/10/14

:bfp: SURPRISE! 10/23/14 EDD 7/9/15
11/7/14- Found out it's :baby: :baby: :shock:
11/10/14 -Ultrasound and bloodwork shows no heartbeats and HCG dropping :(
12/19/14 - genetic and blood disorder panels ordered
1/8/15 - tests confirm positive results for two mutations of MTHFR gene.

My sons are from a previous marriage, we have one daughter together and Multiple miscarriages.
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Re: Miscarriage number 2

Postby RachGee » Thu May 02, 2013 10:23 am

Thank you Mommabella, that means a lot. I wish you a very happy and healthy pregnancy!
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Re: Miscarriage number 2

Postby GiGi27 » Wed May 15, 2013 3:01 am

I know exactly how you feel as I'm am going through the same thing right now. Got a bfp at the start of April and m/c a few days later at 5 weeks. Fell pg almost right away and got a strong bfp on 4th may. Had been spotting since the previous day tho which I assumed at the time was AF arriving. This carried on all week then I m/c at the weekend. I just feel so empty right now. Can't understand how I can have such bad luck that this could happen to me 2 months in a row! I believe I was further along this 2nd time too as at the time digi hpt said 2-3 weeks and the m/c itself has been a lot worse than last time. Feel like everywhere I look I just see pregnant women too, they are haunting me!
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Re: Miscarriage number 2

Postby MTbaby » Tue May 21, 2013 11:15 pm

I'm in same boat gigi27. Fell pregnant in March. Got my BFP 4/1/13. I had a miscarriage 4/17/13 at 6w1d. Found out I was pregnant again today and was shocked! I got pregnant two weeks after miscarriage. Went to Dr. she told me it's not good and that I'm miscarrying again. Within 6 hours I find out I'm pregnant and miscarrying. Two in a row....I'm crushed!
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Re: Miscarriage number 2

Postby eribear » Wed May 22, 2013 5:20 am

How does anyone move on with this kind of pain in their heart? I have no idea how to cope. I have zero desire to be social. We got our BFP on Mother's Day and one week later started miscarrying. I thought it was over in just a few hours- no bleeding at all yesterday. This morning it came back with a vengenance. Cramps. Terrible bleeding. Now I'm terrified as to how long it'll last. I'm exhausted and just not sure what to do with everything. While this is the most horrible thing to happen to us in our lives, it's great that we have each other for support.
Proud mommy of twins xoxo
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Re: Miscarriage number 2

Postby Lovie » Wed May 22, 2013 9:04 am

Hi Ladies,

I actually don't post much these days, but today I was browsing/reading and I feel the need to reach out to you all.

First off, I'm so, so, so sorry for your losses. I know this feeling all too well and nothing anyone says or do can make the pain go away......except TIME (this was the only thing that worked for me).

Before my DS, I had 3 consecutive mc's. First one being at 6.5 weeks, second at 11.5 weeks (d&c) and third was at 10.5 weeks (second d&c). I fell completely into a depression. I mean it was a good 1.5 years that I did not WANT to do anything...I merely just exhisted. I hated the world, I hated myself....like RachGee, I felt bad that my DH picked a defected woman (I kept telling him to go elsewhere and he of course never did). Those were the darkest times of my life...even our doctor told us to look at other options such as adoption, IVFs, etc. My last m/c was in June and right on my bday (the same day I found out baby no longer has a hb).

Fast forward: So my last mc was in June, we conceived again in August (just after one reg cycle). In April 2009, we had our rainbow baby...our son...the love of our life. He's now 4 years old and is making my life brighter each day. Then we were blessed again (only after one cycle of trying) with a BFP in January 2012 and we now have a beautiful princess who's almost 8 months old.

I really hope my story give you ladies hope that you will all have your babies one day. I will never know why GOD gave me all the heartaches, but I'm thankful to him today for my children. I know it's really hard to go through a mc or a repeat mc because you feel so alone....so lost....so incomplete, but please take time to takecare of yourself...to heal and try again when you're ready. I wish all of you soooooooooo much luck and I pray you will all be blessed with your beautiful, healhty babies very soon. Take Care!!

P.S. I did the repeat loss testing and they could not find a thing wrong with me or DH.
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