Where to turn?

Support for anyone experiencing a miscarriage or looking for support from others who have been there.

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Where to turn?

Postby eribear » Tue May 21, 2013 8:56 am

DH and I found out we were pregnant with Baby # 1 on Mother's Day- the best possible news we could ask for. My doctor wouldn't see us until 8-10 weeks, which worked out perfectly because I already had my annual scheduled for the 10 week mark, on the nose.

We had so much fun keeping it a secret all weekend while we visited his family and everyone kept asking when we were having kids. Monday AM we took an early flight home from their house and everything seemed fine. The only thing that seemed off yesterday was that I didn't really have a appetite. When I finally settled on lunch, I ran to the restroom before heading out and noticed some spotting. It got heavier and turned from brown to red, although this AM it's brown again and almost completely gone.

Called the doctor's office and had to wait a long two hours to hear back. Went in and she said it was likely a miscarriage- I was bleeding, but my cervix was not dialated. I was devastated. Couldn't stop crying the entire way home. DH deals with his angry/upsetting info differently, so it's hard, he likes to isolate and distract himself. I want a hug and to cry it out. Not his fault either, but he also had to leave first thing this AM for a business trip. I don't want anyone else to know because I don't want pity or to be the family gossip.

HCG levels were 22 last night, going in again tomorrow for another draw just to confirm everything. In the mean time, I have zero appetite and no desire to socialize with anyone. I have a baby shower in two weeks and while I'm ecstatic for my friend, I'm not sure how I'll handle it. The funny thing is, we weren't even going to officially try for the baby until this week, we just got really lucky last month (DH was out of town during most of our window). I think what hurts the most is that we got so lucky and were so excited- my father-in-law is really sick and this kind of good news is just what the doctor ordered. On top of that, I had just gotten over being scared of exactly what happened- spotting. I had finally calmed down and begun to enjoy everything about this experience.

I'm afraid that any future pregnancy will now be tainted, that I won't be as excited to feel this way again. I know it's horrible at any time, but our first time? Where do you turn and how do you move on?
Proud mommy of twins xoxo
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Re: Where to turn?

Postby TDarrow » Tue May 21, 2013 9:48 am

Hello dear,

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. MCs are so hard. I had one last year in March at about 7 weeks. It was my now husbands 1st time trying for a baby of our own. we started TTC in December of 2011. I have a son from a previous marriage. He is 8. the feelings I had were hurt, anger, pity for myslef, confusion, "why me" and the list goes on and on. I didn't handle mine to well. I decided to have a couple of glasses of wine to relax but that turned into 2 bottles. The pain of it all did not go away it only got worse. After the hangover passed the next day I decided to let the Lord take over. I just could not handle it on my own. My husband handles things likes this very differently. He just keeps it all inside. My doctor said that my body miscarried on its own and I luckily did not have any meds or procedures to help with it. He told me that once I had a normal period i could try again. We did and I got PG last May and I now have a beautiful rainbow baby that was born on Dec. 26th. The whole time I was PG with him I was paranoid. I was so afraid I would go to the bathroom and see spotting. I didn't want to have sex I basically treated my body like I was a porcelain doll. I couldn't be like that. So i prayed about it and let God have his way. When the due date of my MC'd baby came I was sad but I knew there was another plan for me. not trying to preach to you but this was my experience and I know that my faith help me get through it. There are just things that are out of my control and that is really hard sometimes for me to take because I am a control freak and I love to have everything planned out. Hopefully the doctor will call you with good news that everything is ok. So, I'll be saying a prayer for you that you have peace of mind and understanding and that you and your hubby are blessed with a beautiful baby soon. God Bless you sweety!!!
Me: DOB 8-1-77 DH: DOB 3-7-79
DS#1: Born 11-10-04 BF'd for 7 months
DS#2: Born 12-26-12 BF'd for a lil over 13 months :-)
I love my family!!
God Bless!!

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Re: Where to turn?

Postby eribear » Tue May 21, 2013 10:41 am

Thanks- that means a lot to me. We haven't told friends and famiy and at this point we don't want to (bff and s-i-l are both preggers so I don't want to be a buzz kill). I just told a trusted co-worker and that helped.

Congrats on your new little one!
Proud mommy of twins xoxo
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