Nightmares?

Support for anyone experiencing a miscarriage or looking for support from others who have been there.

Moderators: unaffected, JessM, southernbelle, maddy

Nightmares?

Postby radkitten » Fri May 24, 2013 11:25 am

Yesterday was a week since my surgery due to my ectopic pregnancy. I also lost my left fallopian tube.

I missed work today because I couldn't sleep last night. Every time I would start to doze off, I would wake up, almost in a state of sheer panic, thinking I was in the hospital again. A couple of times all I could do was cry and rock :(. Anyone else experienced this?

I really, really just want to feel normal again :(. I only have 1 day of vacation left for this year now, and I need to go back to work. I went back on Tuesday and Wednesday, but only made it half a day on Thursday. I am having such a hard time. I went to my normal doctor and he gave me a scrip for zoloft and ativan for the panic attacks, but the zoloft makes me feel disconnected.

I know this will get better with time, maybe having more closure after my follow up will help. I have yet to talk to the doctor who did my surgery and only have second hand knowledge of what he saw and why my tube was removed. I'm hoping my follow up with him and then with my RE the week after that will help.

I'm trying to be positive and remind myself that I finally got pregnant, but on the other hand it feels like it was easier before, not being able to. Now that I know I can, I don't think I can give up on trying for a baby, even though we can't afford IVF =(.

I just feel lost.
Me (31) - Homozygous MTHFR A1298C, Endometriosis, Left Fallopian Tube removed
DH (33) - Normal
Married - 09/09/09

First ever :bfp: 5/6/13
5-17-13 - D&C and ectopic pregnancy removal at 5w5d. Lost left fallopian tube. Right ovarian cyst removed.

Aug 2013 - 1st clomid cycle (50mg CD3-7). 5 follies, missed ovulation, timed intercourse. BFN
Nov 2013 - Jan 2014 - Follicles all on the left.
Feb 2014 - 5mg Femara CD3-7 - Cyst on left ovary, 18mm follie right ovary! Trigger 2/20, IUI 2/22 BFN
October 2014 - IVF #1. Retrieval October 22nd?


Image
User avatar
radkitten
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 680
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2013 11:16 am
Location: Stow, Ohio

Re: Nightmares?

Postby eribear » Fri May 24, 2013 1:05 pm

So sorry to hear about that- we just had a miscarriage of our first little one and are devastated. My husband's argument was at least we know we can, but I agree with you- knowing you can but can't sustain is worse, especially since you felt it and can't unfeel that. And some of the things I saw during the m/c I can't unsee. I'm afraid my experience will forever be ruined because I'm a ball of nerves and now we have to wait to even try again.

I hope your nightmares go away and that you're able to push through and conceive your little one FXFX
Proud mommy of twins xoxo
eribear
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 1302
Joined: Tue May 07, 2013 2:47 pm

Re: Nightmares?

Postby care327 » Sat May 25, 2013 10:39 am

ladies i am so sorry!!! i mc march 11th and that was our first baby too. n i have to agree, knowing i can get pregnant n then losin it did not help me out AT ALL. id rather never got pregnant then to feel so blessed only to have it ripped from me. i had nightmares too. bad ones that i wont even describe. the first 3 days after the mc i didnt sleep like at all i stayed home the whole week from work n i couldnt function. i took sleepin pills to try to at least get a few hrs here n there. its something i will never ever forget but it has gotten a lil easier. prayers for u both
Me: Carrie 34
DH-35
DSS-16
DSS-14
DSD-12
DD in Heaven Faith Marie
Image






Image

Fur Baby- Snoop Dogg 5
Image

Fur Baby Bizzy Bone 10 months

Image
TTC #1 Since May 2012
BFP feb 17, 2013
M/C march 11, 2013 @ 6w3d
Officially diagnosed with PCOS October 2013
January 2014- New SA shows very few sperm (7) =(
April 2014- Dr. Confirms we need re-do of reversal or IVF
October 14 2014- Surgery semi-successful. Tons of healthy sperm alive n swimming!
December 2014- SURGERY SUCCESS!!!!! 89 million spermies =)
Jan 5, 2015- BFP
Jan 13, 2015- MC
March 20, 2015 BFP!
Faith Marie born into our hearts 6/24/15 at 16 weeks.( triploidy) RIP babygirl

Image
My Ovulation Chart
User avatar
care327
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 4750
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2012 9:58 am
Location: Baltimore, Maryland


Return to Miscarriage, Ectopic, and Pregnancy Loss Support