Nightmares?

[radkitten]

Yesterday was a week since my surgery due to my ectopic pregnancy. I also lost my left fallopian tube.

I missed work today because I couldn't sleep last night. Every time I would start to doze off, I would wake up, almost in a state of sheer panic, thinking I was in the hospital again. A couple of times all I could do was cry and rock . Anyone else experienced this?

I really, really just want to feel normal again . I only have 1 day of vacation left for this year now, and I need to go back to work. I went back on Tuesday and Wednesday, but only made it half a day on Thursday. I am having such a hard time. I went to my normal doctor and he gave me a scrip for zoloft and ativan for the panic attacks, but the zoloft makes me feel disconnected.

I know this will get better with time, maybe having more closure after my follow up will help. I have yet to talk to the doctor who did my surgery and only have second hand knowledge of what he saw and why my tube was removed. I'm hoping my follow up with him and then with my RE the week after that will help.

I'm trying to be positive and remind myself that I finally got pregnant, but on the other hand it feels like it was easier before, not being able to. Now that I know I can, I don't think I can give up on trying for a baby, even though we can't afford IVF =(.

I just feel lost.

[eribear]

So sorry to hear about that- we just had a miscarriage of our first little one and are devastated. My husband's argument was at least we know we can, but I agree with you- knowing you can but can't sustain is worse, especially since you felt it and can't unfeel that. And some of the things I saw during the m/c I can't unsee. I'm afraid my experience will forever be ruined because I'm a ball of nerves and now we have to wait to even try again.

I hope your nightmares go away and that you're able to push through and conceive your little one FXFX

[care327]

ladies i am so sorry!!! i mc march 11th and that was our first baby too. n i have to agree, knowing i can get pregnant n then losin it did not help me out AT ALL. id rather never got pregnant then to feel so blessed only to have it ripped from me. i had nightmares too. bad ones that i wont even describe. the first 3 days after the mc i didnt sleep like at all i stayed home the whole week from work n i couldnt function. i took sleepin pills to try to at least get a few hrs here n there. its something i will never ever forget but it has gotten a lil easier. prayers for u both