Grey

Support for anyone experiencing a miscarriage or looking for support from others who have been there.

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Re: Grey

Postby radkitten » Tue Oct 22, 2013 1:00 pm

That was hard for me too. I never ruptured, but I was spotting brown from implantation on throughout the entire thing. It is all so incredibly surreal. I know they called with my lab reports about 3 weeks after and told me my tube was positive for a pregnancy and that everything looked normal. Like I needed to know that. It makes crazy thoughts run through my mind, like, what if I had just toughed it out? Maybe I could have been one of those crazy ectopic survivor stories that has a successful pregnancy. But in reality I know it would have killed me. It's just really hard to let go, being that is my only pregnancy after all these years and I had to get rid of it. I felt pregnant and everything felt good, and it still doesn't make any sense to me. Despite knowing I did the right thing.
Me (31) - Homozygous MTHFR A1298C, Endometriosis, Left Fallopian Tube removed
DH (33) - Normal
Married - 09/09/09

First ever :bfp: 5/6/13
5-17-13 - D&C and ectopic pregnancy removal at 5w5d. Lost left fallopian tube. Right ovarian cyst removed.

Aug 2013 - 1st clomid cycle (50mg CD3-7). 5 follies, missed ovulation, timed intercourse. BFN
Nov 2013 - Jan 2014 - Follicles all on the left.
Feb 2014 - 5mg Femara CD3-7 - Cyst on left ovary, 18mm follie right ovary! Trigger 2/20, IUI 2/22 BFN
October 2014 - IVF #1. Retrieval October 22nd?


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Re: Grey

Postby mgresham21 » Tue Oct 22, 2013 1:11 pm

Rad- did you do the methotrexate ?? That's what I did and I was reading an article saying something crazy percentage of women who are diagnose a ectopic ate misdiagnosed and could go on to have successful pregnancies had they not used the shot.
My Ovulation Chart

Marie-26-
Senior Consultant for Thirty-One Gifts
http://www.mythirtyone.com/mgresham

Justin-26- electrician
Dd-Bethany-3- wild child
Dd-Bailey-2- sensitive sister
I have two angels, one would be 7 in jan and one would be 2 in feb.
Diagnosed with pcos 9 years ago, treated surgically. I have had two ectopics with one tube removal.
Been ntnp for over two years no success now actively ttc#3
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Re: Grey

Postby radkitten » Tue Oct 22, 2013 1:20 pm

No, I had a laparoscopy and salpingectomy. They had ordered the MTX in for me, but because of a cyst that needed surgically removed from one of my ovaries they decided the lap was the safest bet to verify ectopic.
Me (31) - Homozygous MTHFR A1298C, Endometriosis, Left Fallopian Tube removed
DH (33) - Normal
Married - 09/09/09

First ever :bfp: 5/6/13
5-17-13 - D&C and ectopic pregnancy removal at 5w5d. Lost left fallopian tube. Right ovarian cyst removed.

Aug 2013 - 1st clomid cycle (50mg CD3-7). 5 follies, missed ovulation, timed intercourse. BFN
Nov 2013 - Jan 2014 - Follicles all on the left.
Feb 2014 - 5mg Femara CD3-7 - Cyst on left ovary, 18mm follie right ovary! Trigger 2/20, IUI 2/22 BFN
October 2014 - IVF #1. Retrieval October 22nd?


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Re: Grey

Postby mgresham21 » Tue Oct 22, 2013 1:46 pm

Gotcha- my first was like that and my last was the shot
My Ovulation Chart

Marie-26-
Senior Consultant for Thirty-One Gifts
http://www.mythirtyone.com/mgresham

Justin-26- electrician
Dd-Bethany-3- wild child
Dd-Bailey-2- sensitive sister
I have two angels, one would be 7 in jan and one would be 2 in feb.
Diagnosed with pcos 9 years ago, treated surgically. I have had two ectopics with one tube removal.
Been ntnp for over two years no success now actively ttc#3
[/b]
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mgresham21
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Re: Grey

Postby B Michaelson » Tue Oct 22, 2013 3:35 pm

I really thought it was muscle pain at first. It really, really hurt but it felt too high to be my tube. I have had hip pain in the exact same place so many times just not half as bad. I must have been a bit in denial too. You know, I told DH, had I not started bleeding, I would have toughed it out. I started thinking maybe it was a kidney stone or my gallbladder. I don't know if I would have recognized the shoulder pain.

After I started bleeding I remembered what I thought when I first got my bfp and I knew it was over. They did all the testing and such but I knew what they were going to tell me. They showed me the picture of my tube after and it looked like it exploded. I guess it kinda did.

I don't know if I buy all the theories about pg's that would have been fine. There was obviously something wrong that caused the person to get to a point where the drs felt the shot was needed. Even if some of those weren't ectopic, there's no guarantee it wouldn't have ended as miscarriage. No need to add salt to the wound I suppose.

It all sucks no matter how you look at it.
Me - 36
Hashimotos, JHS/EDS, ANA negative, 1 Fallopian tube
DH - 41
TTC #1 Aug 2012 - May 2014
DS - Born Jan 2015
TTC #2 since Aug 2016
May 2017 :bfp:

:angel: Our Angels :angel:
2004 - 7.5 weeks
Oct 2013 - 6w6d ruptured ectopic
Jan 2014 - Chemical

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Re: Grey

Postby mgresham21 » Tue Oct 22, 2013 4:22 pm

I know :-( sorry ladies....

Just worries me. That last time It was in my only tube and thank God we caught it that it didn't rupture. But now since 29 months of unsafe sex and no bfp... And from chartin last month it appears I ovulate....

I'm worried its blocked :-( and I can't afford out of pocket fertility tests or Ivf
My Ovulation Chart

Marie-26-
Senior Consultant for Thirty-One Gifts
http://www.mythirtyone.com/mgresham

Justin-26- electrician
Dd-Bethany-3- wild child
Dd-Bailey-2- sensitive sister
I have two angels, one would be 7 in jan and one would be 2 in feb.
Diagnosed with pcos 9 years ago, treated surgically. I have had two ectopics with one tube removal.
Been ntnp for over two years no success now actively ttc#3
[/b]
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mgresham21
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Re: Grey

Postby B Michaelson » Tue Oct 22, 2013 4:47 pm

Sorry you are going through this Marie. There's no easy answer. It's all pretty confusing and frustrating.
Me - 36
Hashimotos, JHS/EDS, ANA negative, 1 Fallopian tube
DH - 41
TTC #1 Aug 2012 - May 2014
DS - Born Jan 2015
TTC #2 since Aug 2016
May 2017 :bfp:

:angel: Our Angels :angel:
2004 - 7.5 weeks
Oct 2013 - 6w6d ruptured ectopic
Jan 2014 - Chemical

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Re: Grey

Postby mgresham21 » Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:23 pm

All I can do is trust in The Lord and believe that he knows what is best for our family.
My Ovulation Chart

Marie-26-
Senior Consultant for Thirty-One Gifts
http://www.mythirtyone.com/mgresham

Justin-26- electrician
Dd-Bethany-3- wild child
Dd-Bailey-2- sensitive sister
I have two angels, one would be 7 in jan and one would be 2 in feb.
Diagnosed with pcos 9 years ago, treated surgically. I have had two ectopics with one tube removal.
Been ntnp for over two years no success now actively ttc#3
[/b]
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mgresham21
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Re: Grey

Postby B Michaelson » Wed Oct 23, 2013 8:59 am

I got a lovely call from the hospital this morning reminding me they got a referral from my dr for my prenatal care and I should come in.

The same hospital that did my surgery and the same dr they sent my discharge papers to that I called after to let them know.

Do people in the same department of the same hospital not talk to each other? Feeling kind of frustrated about this.
Me - 36
Hashimotos, JHS/EDS, ANA negative, 1 Fallopian tube
DH - 41
TTC #1 Aug 2012 - May 2014
DS - Born Jan 2015
TTC #2 since Aug 2016
May 2017 :bfp:

:angel: Our Angels :angel:
2004 - 7.5 weeks
Oct 2013 - 6w6d ruptured ectopic
Jan 2014 - Chemical

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Re: Grey

Postby radkitten » Wed Oct 23, 2013 9:23 am

B Michaelson wrote:I got a lovely call from the hospital this morning reminding me they got a referral from my dr for my prenatal care and I should come in.

The same hospital that did my surgery and the same dr they sent my discharge papers to that I called after to let them know.

Do people in the same department of the same hospital not talk to each other? Feeling kind of frustrated about this.


That's ridiculous. I would call and make a complaint honestly, that is so painful.
Me (31) - Homozygous MTHFR A1298C, Endometriosis, Left Fallopian Tube removed
DH (33) - Normal
Married - 09/09/09

First ever :bfp: 5/6/13
5-17-13 - D&C and ectopic pregnancy removal at 5w5d. Lost left fallopian tube. Right ovarian cyst removed.

Aug 2013 - 1st clomid cycle (50mg CD3-7). 5 follies, missed ovulation, timed intercourse. BFN
Nov 2013 - Jan 2014 - Follicles all on the left.
Feb 2014 - 5mg Femara CD3-7 - Cyst on left ovary, 18mm follie right ovary! Trigger 2/20, IUI 2/22 BFN
October 2014 - IVF #1. Retrieval October 22nd?


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Re: Grey

Postby B Michaelson » Wed Oct 23, 2013 9:52 am

Ya its also a crappy day out (grey again). I was almost excited because I somehow in my head imagined they were calling to ask how I was doing or give me some helpful dx as to why this happened or suggest some treatment to help move things along. Ugh.
Screw the self pity. I consoled myself by getting further under the covers and unsuccessfully trying to watch something (anything) on netflix and avoid the real world. DH wants me out of bed so I don't repeat Sunday. I feel a cynical day coming on lol. I also started with the bad dreams last night.

I think I better get some comfy pjs on and get up though. I really don't feel much better laying here doing nothing. I just wish it was sunny out. I do much better on the sunny days.
Me - 36
Hashimotos, JHS/EDS, ANA negative, 1 Fallopian tube
DH - 41
TTC #1 Aug 2012 - May 2014
DS - Born Jan 2015
TTC #2 since Aug 2016
May 2017 :bfp:

:angel: Our Angels :angel:
2004 - 7.5 weeks
Oct 2013 - 6w6d ruptured ectopic
Jan 2014 - Chemical

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Re: Grey

Postby B Michaelson » Thu Nov 07, 2013 11:10 pm

Today sucks.

It would be 10 weeks.

I thought I was good, but the grey still comes to visit. I feel the depression, bitterness, and anger creeping in here and there. Hopefully tomorrow is better.
Me - 36
Hashimotos, JHS/EDS, ANA negative, 1 Fallopian tube
DH - 41
TTC #1 Aug 2012 - May 2014
DS - Born Jan 2015
TTC #2 since Aug 2016
May 2017 :bfp:

:angel: Our Angels :angel:
2004 - 7.5 weeks
Oct 2013 - 6w6d ruptured ectopic
Jan 2014 - Chemical

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Re: Grey

Postby mgresham21 » Fri Nov 08, 2013 3:21 am

Praying for you B.
My Ovulation Chart

Marie-26-
Senior Consultant for Thirty-One Gifts
http://www.mythirtyone.com/mgresham

Justin-26- electrician
Dd-Bethany-3- wild child
Dd-Bailey-2- sensitive sister
I have two angels, one would be 7 in jan and one would be 2 in feb.
Diagnosed with pcos 9 years ago, treated surgically. I have had two ectopics with one tube removal.
Been ntnp for over two years no success now actively ttc#3
[/b]
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mgresham21
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Location: Thomson, Georgia, USA

Re: Grey

Postby radkitten » Fri Nov 08, 2013 7:54 am

I totally feel you. I should be 31 weeks tomorrow. =(
Me (31) - Homozygous MTHFR A1298C, Endometriosis, Left Fallopian Tube removed
DH (33) - Normal
Married - 09/09/09

First ever :bfp: 5/6/13
5-17-13 - D&C and ectopic pregnancy removal at 5w5d. Lost left fallopian tube. Right ovarian cyst removed.

Aug 2013 - 1st clomid cycle (50mg CD3-7). 5 follies, missed ovulation, timed intercourse. BFN
Nov 2013 - Jan 2014 - Follicles all on the left.
Feb 2014 - 5mg Femara CD3-7 - Cyst on left ovary, 18mm follie right ovary! Trigger 2/20, IUI 2/22 BFN
October 2014 - IVF #1. Retrieval October 22nd?


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Re: Grey

Postby B Michaelson » Sun Nov 17, 2013 9:39 am

K I am totally using this as my venting thread.

Friday this guy at works asks me if the reason I was in the hospital was because I lost a pregnancy. Yesterday was great until I remembered it was a month exactly then I ended up laying in bed watching netflix trying to avoid thinking about it (unsuccessfully). This morning I wake up and remembered I had a dream some dr found more tissue in my abdomen and wanted to give me methotrexate and 2 other shots so I would have to wait 3+ more months. I also found out my sister had yet another cp from her last fet (2 embies).

I just want this whole thing to get out of my head and for all of us to get our safe bfps. It feels like a bad dream.
Me - 36
Hashimotos, JHS/EDS, ANA negative, 1 Fallopian tube
DH - 41
TTC #1 Aug 2012 - May 2014
DS - Born Jan 2015
TTC #2 since Aug 2016
May 2017 :bfp:

:angel: Our Angels :angel:
2004 - 7.5 weeks
Oct 2013 - 6w6d ruptured ectopic
Jan 2014 - Chemical

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B Michaelson
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