Having my first m/c ;(

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Having my first m/c ;(

Postby LansMommy312 » Sat Jun 21, 2014 11:50 am

I started miscarrying last night & this is the most heartbreaking thing I think I have ever been through. I would have been almost 5 weeks :( My friends on the TTC blog had been begging me to poas for a while but I was too scared of seeing just that one lonely line so I kept putting it off even though we all new I was pregnant because I do chart bbt and I had a beautiful triphasic chart along with a million other symptoms. Now I wish I would have sooner because then I maybe could have prevented it somehow.
I didn't test until day before yesterday and had a beautiful positive & knew all the symptoms I had weren't just in my head. I was so excited. Yesterday morning my temp went way down and I was cramping but by later in the morning my temps went up to the 99's which is what they had been so I was relieved. By last night I was having a lot of pressure in the bottom half of my body, shooting pains in my legs, just really bad cramping and started spotting brown blood. I was worried but also knew that was normal. Then it went to light pink, then bright red, still very minimal. I took a test in the afternoon and it was still positive but a little fainter. That got me worried. I woke up this morning, went to the bathroom and it was so horrible. I was cramping so bad and blood was running down my legs. I was passing big clots and a lot of tissue. I knew then it was over but still took another test. My beautiful positive was just a squinter :(

I have never been through this before. It is so painful emotionally. I just keep asking myself what I did wrong. What could I have done differently. Was it just not meant to be? Only the good Lord knows why, I just wish he would tell me what the reason is.
Mommy to 2 little boys & ttc #3
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Re: Having my first m/c ;(

Postby operationindigo » Sat Jun 21, 2014 1:39 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I just had a loss a week ago. I had to have a d&c at 8 weeks. There is nothing you did that caused this miscarriage, and one of the hardest things about my experience at least is that there is nothing you can do to prevent it from happening. One of the hardest things for me to accept was that it was totally out of my control. Nothing you did led to this happening, and there is nothing you could have done, even if you knew sooner, to prevent it. I know how you are feeling, I am still trying to work through my loss last week. Take time to do whatever it is you need to do to grieve, and don't let anyone else dictate when you should "feel better." Do whatever is necessary for your healing to take place, physically and emotionally.

Some things I've found helpful this week:
-I found a necklace with what would have been my baby's birthstone, along with some other empowering crystals, and got it as a remembrance.
-Baths with salts and essential oils - this helped me to feel that I was drawing out all the negative energy I had absorbed throughout the process and helped me to break down some emotional walls. It also helped me to deal with any cramping and pain I had. I was very sore from the surgery. I didn't have as much cramping as if I had a natural miscarriage, but I had back and hip pain I was dealing with as well.
-I decided to give my baby a name, Kaden. It means "fighter" and I decided on this name because it represented the struggle we went through during our time together.
-I cleansed the house with incense to get rid of any negative energies still lingering around after the loss and welcome in new energy. It helped me mentally because I felt like I was making our home ready to start something new, as we plan on trying again soon.
-I slept when I needed to sleep, cried when I needed to cry, walked outside when I felt like it, and moved at my own pace.
-I started reading stories of other women's miscarriages in hopes that I could find a connection and gain strength. It made me feel less alone.
-I told close friends my story of what happened this week, and many of them were able to tell me their stories. I also talked to family about the feelings I had and learned some new things and made new connections.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss and I am in a similar place. I wish you the best in your healing journey.
Me: 27, history of short LP & irregular bleeding
Partner: 30
TTC Cycle #Who knows?

BFP#1: Baby Kaden, miscarriage @ 8 weeks (D&C) 6/12/14

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/4dde08
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Re: Having my first m/c ;(

Postby Stardancer8764 » Tue Jul 01, 2014 2:59 pm

Thanks for your post. I am right there with you two ladies. It sucks so bad. No HB after 11 weeks, after seeing a HB at 7, then D&C. Worst pain ever.
Myself: 30
DH: 33
Married: 10/18/08
DD: Baby#1 :future baby girl: 04.26.13 :bfp: 08/12/12 :hb: 169bpm 9/10/12
:angel: Baby #2 due 1/15/15 :hb: 140bpm - 06/28/14 missed m/c and D&C at 11 weeks.
DS: Baby #3 :future baby boy: 08.11.15 :bfp: 11/23/14 :hb: 165bmp 12/23/14


3 furbabies- 2 meows, an Irish Setter
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