Holding onto hope

Support for anyone experiencing a miscarriage or looking for support from others who have been there.

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Holding onto hope

Postby Chloelee » Mon Mar 23, 2015 5:52 am

Hi Everyone,

I'm new to this page, i just want to share my story & see if anyone has gone through something the same. ( sorry this is a long one)

I have always wanted to be a Mum (Yes i'm Aussie) it has been something i've always dreamed about. One day i received that gift. I was so over welmed with joy & excitement, i had to go straight to my partners work & tell him! At the time i had a little spotting, i done some research on google & thought nothing of it, i went to the doctors the same say to get a blood test to confirm before we told family. I asked the doctor about this. He said it is common & asked if i wanted to get a scan done he predicted i was about 6 weeks when he got my blood results in that same Monday afternoon. I said no its fine i will come in & organise it with my partner at a later date.

Once i heard yes you are pregnant & your 6 weeks i felt on top of the world! I went home & we called my Mum, & she came right over to to see us, she was thrilled & blessed she was going to be a nanny!

The next day, my parter gave me & my belly a kiss good bye & told me he loved us. It was the greatest feeling in the world. I still had some spotting but i didnt worry as it wasnt heavy & the doctor said i was fine.
That afternoon i started to feel some cramping to one side, i just shook it off, as we invited my partners mother over to share the news, she was excited she is already a nanny to 4 other kids but she was still just as excited, i was washing thr dishes & i could feel this pain again. I quitely walked off & laid in my bed, in the fetal position, this was the inly way it slightly went away, thinking the pain was normal things must be making room for whats it going to happen in the next few months.
His mother left, & he insisted to take me to the hospital. Then it started getting worse!!!! This was Tuesday night, i started to feel like i was constipated (sorry if its to much info) along with the cramping. I still thought i was going to be okay. We went home with a slip to get a scan done tomorrow.

I went to work wednesday morning, in slight pain but nothing like late last night. I made it to 11am that pain got worse quickley!! I couldn't function anymore at work i began to cry in pain, i lelt crouching over trying to walk out to my car crying & in horrible pain i wouldnt wish upon anyone, i rang my partner he said go straight to the hospital & he met me there. I was disgusted & upset they werent concerned until i got my scan at 1:30 & was sent home.

I got to the scan place, in the waiting room trying not to cry in public cause tge pain was worse than the hospital!! I had to get an internal scan cause they couldnt get a clear picture, when she couldnt find anything in the "middle" she moved it to the left & the pain lifted me off the bed! & there was my little baby, she said this isnt good im sorry.. i was confused! She said you need to go straight to the hospital we broke down in tears, i have never see my partner cry like this, i can remember is emotions like it was yesterday. She didnt even worry about taking payment for the scan. & she couldnt beleive i was driving my car!! So my partner rushed me to the hospital & the same people that werent concerned were suddenley frantic waiting at the doors, put me straight into a bed & on morphine & told me i had an extopic pregnancy & the pregnancy will have to end as they cant do anything to help it & my health became their number one concer, but not mine, i didnt want to lose this precious gift. The doctors check if it was small enough to take a tablet to remove my baby but it wasnt & were i live they cant do the surgery i needed. So i has to be flown to a hospital 1 hour away by plan 3 by driving, my partner left straight away so he would be there when i landed as my mum was waiting with me... I remember i was given morphine after morphine & bloods & more bloods.

i was so angry how long they left me in the bed, being told i would have it that night as i had a lot if blood in my stomach & took extra bloods incase i needed some for when i had my surgery. Anyway i had my surgery thursday at 2pm almost 24 hours later & i lost my left tube as well.

To this day i havent fallen pregnant since i am on swiss pregnany vitamin & my parter was recently told to take a multi mens Vitamin as it has vitamin c i think, thats all he needs to take apparently. He hasnt been on it for a month yet, but it is now the 23rd of March 2015 & im still not pregnant.

Does anyone have suscess stories they would like to share with me as i think im never going to fall again. & its breaking my heart to think ill never experience being a full mummy as i am a mummy to a beautiful angel.

Sorry my story is long, no one else really understands what i went through (my friebds & family) & i think i just need a posotive kick.

Thankyou xo
Chloelee
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Re: Holding onto hope

Postby Tifflw86 » Mon Mar 23, 2015 10:13 am

Hello,
My experience is almost identical. I lost my right tube 7 years ago to an Ectopic and I have not gotten pregnant since. I know you needed encouragement, and I don't have a successful pregnancy story to tell you, but there are several on this site who do :D

This is so rough, and so unfair. I am still TTC, 7 years later, and sometimes I want to give up, but I always come back ready to fight. Just keep your head up :hugs:
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Re: Holding onto hope

Postby Chloelee » Tue Mar 24, 2015 5:25 am

Thankyou & its very inspiring to hear you are sill holding on to faith. If you dont mind me asking have you looked into other way to help you possible fall faster?
Chloelee
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