Recent Miscarriage

Support for anyone experiencing a miscarriage or looking for support from others who have been there.

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Recent Miscarriage

Postby misslucybug » Wed May 11, 2016 5:52 am

Hi everyone I know this is a long story but Its good to get things off your chest even if no-one answers.

Last Tuesday I was booked to go in for my dating scan. This for me was 12 weeks 1 day by my own calculations. The weekend before I had noticed slightly brown discharge when I wiped. It was really pale so I couldn't decide if it was creamy or brown. So I decided to not worry and put it down to hormones. Then on the Monday I had more and it was darker brown. This there me and I instantly got worried because I had also been feeling fine for a few days (boobs seemed to have shrunk, I wasn't so tired and non sicky) but being '12 weeks pregnant' this apparently was normal. So on the Tuesday I was nervous but so excited to go and see my baby on the scan. I lay on the bed and the lady started to scan. She seemed very quiet and asked how many weeks I believed I was. Me and my boyfriend were watching on the screen as she searched around for a baby. We couldn't see anything and I just knew it was bad news but I held my breath and hoped she would find it. Then she did. 'There is a baby but it isn't 12 weeks along its too small' she zoomed in and I heard her take a deep breath as she found out the news I saw coming. 'Im sorry but its bad news....there is no heartbeat' My hands went up to my face and I couldn't breathe. She quickly wiped me and covers my tummy and gave me and my boyfriend a few minutes while she went to get us someone who could take us through the next steps. We just couldn't believe it. We had had a scan around 8 weeks and saw the little heart beating which calmed my nerves and made us quite excited. Then we were told last week that the baby had stopped growing around 8 weeks. It just seems so unfair. I couldn't decide what I wanted to do next I just wanted to get home. On the way out I went to the toilet twice within a few minutes and I started to bleed. So we went back in and had a scan booked for two weeks as it had started naturally. Going home was awful, thinking of what we would have felt like if the bad news wasn't there. I have two children and as soon as I saw them I got upset. Its difficult trying to hide it from them while feeling so rotten but needing to take care of them. The bleeding slowed down and the next day I was in pain, so we called the hospital and booked surgical management. The week dragged along and I was just spotting, I had booked to take the children out to tell them the good news and stupidly told them that e were going out as a family the Friday so naturally they were excited to go and not wanting to disappoint them we still went. This was very difficult and as soon as it was over I sat and cried the whole way home. They would have loved the news. The next morning I was in a lot of pain with cramps, the pain was building and I took pain killers and napped with a heat pad on my tummy and one on my back. I woke up to more pain and it was getting stronger by the minute, suddenly I got diarrhoea and started to throw up at the same time. I couldn't move from the bathroom for a long while. I couldn't stand straight and I was panting as if I was in labour. Ive been in labour twice and this was by far the worst pain i have ever felt. We called the hospital and they said to come in. I felt faint and I was getting really worried, pressure was building in my lower abdomen and I could feel something pushing through my 'tubes' down to my vagina. The pain was unbearable and I couldn't contain myself. The children were collected and I sat back on the toilet whilst throwing up in the sink, suddenly there was a pop from my vagina and a sudden gush of liquid and something fell out of me and the pain stopped. Completely stopped. I was so confused but so relieved the pain had stopped. I couldn't see down the toilet what was there so I flushed. I lay in bed for a while and there was only a little bit of bleeding, we cancelled going in to the hospital as they believed I had passed the baby already and they cancelled my surgical procedure also but booked a scan for this Thursday. A few hours later the bleeding came in full force and it was really heavy with the biggest clots I have ever seen, I had been told this would happen so I didnt worry and rested. The next day I went for a walk with my children and boyfriend, I felt ok just tired and was still bleeding but nothing else. That evening the bleeding was worse and I put it down to too much activity that day. Monday I slept a lot in the day and woke up in the afternoon to more pains building yet again and the pressure was back, I went to the toilet and My lower abdomen felt hard so I massaged in a circular motion to ease the pain and lots of clots fell from me and a gush of blood. I went back to bed with painkillers and heat pads and tried to lie down but it was so strong i needed to go back to the bathroom and just sit on the toilet as I bled. Back to bed for me as my daughter came in and read to me for around 5 minutes and I could feel the blood pouring out but i stayed put until she left the room. I went to the toilet and the pain was strong but not on par with that Saturdays pain. I sat there and all of a sudden the pushing feeling got strong and I passed something large,it really took me by surprise as it felt different to the clots, and again the pain disappeared! This time i needed to see what had come out. I put on a rubber glove and reached into the toilet and pulled out something so strange to me. It was hard and tough, I washed it and tried to figure out what it was. Im very squeamish so this was difficult for me as well as thinking 'is this my baby?' I took a photo and left it while I told my boyfriend what had happened. I needed to dispose of it before my children came in so it took me a while but I wrapped it up and flushed it down the toilet, I didnt know what else to do with it. I felt ok after that physically, and emotionally Im still unsure of how I feel! I feel physically drained and I'm still bleeding, sometimes a lot sometimes not it isn't a constant flow it differs all day everyday. Ive been taking pregnancy tests and they are getting fainter by the day. I have my scan tomorrow and I need the closure of knowing its 'over'. I never thought Id go through this difficult time. Its something that you think you're immune to. Then you heat those heartbreaking words 'theres no heartbeat'.

Im waiting now for my cycle to get back on track and we are trying again. Im so scared, for a few reasons of course. But I'm trying to remain strong and confident that my turn will happen when its ready and we will have a healthy baby in 2017.
misslucybug
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Oct 11, 2015 1:04 pm

Re: Recent Miscarriage

Postby Danaa » Wed May 11, 2016 9:14 am

I don't have experience with miscarriage but I imagine the pain ur going trough.Im sorry for ur loss!!Hugs and positive vibes ur way.
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My Ovulation Chart
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Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a loss around 5 weeks
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 ?
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Re: Recent Miscarriage

Postby misslucybug » Sun May 15, 2016 9:35 am

Thank you so much, I'm just trying to get back on track now. Feels as if we're in limbo for a while now with not knowing when i'll ovulate and get a period next!
misslucybug
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Oct 11, 2015 1:04 pm

Re: Recent Miscarriage

Postby Danaa » Sun May 15, 2016 11:06 am

Take things as they comes don't stress urself too much.Are you taking something?!Any supliments?!
Image
My Ovulation Chart
.
Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a loss around 5 weeks
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 ?
User avatar
Danaa
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 9122
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 5:54 am


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