Dealing with the emotions

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Dealing with the emotions

Postby mossy_oak99 » Wed Oct 30, 2013 2:29 am

We've been TTC almost 5 years and I was diagnosed with PCOS in August. No known issues with hubby but we're scheduling him an appointment for a SA soon. Right now I'm taking Provera to start my cycle and Clomid. First cycle was BFN. I'm struggling right now with everything becoming so real. This first cycle being a BFN made me realize this isn't going to be easy. I feel like I am letting my husband down because of my PCOS. Lately I fear he will leave me because why should he stay? I may never be able to give him a child and even if it happens it could be a long time. I'm not use to feeling so insecure like this. It could be the Provera but lately at night I can't sleep and I cry pretty much every night the past 4 nights. I've voiced my concerns to my husband the other day and he let me know he isn't going anywhere and that he'd rather have just me then nothing at all. I'm wondering if you all have felt like this? Is it normal? I've thought about joining a support group to help me deal with this.
Me: 22 Hubby: 26
Diagnosis: PCOS - irregular cycles - no ovulation
Clomid Cycle 1: Ovulated - BFN
Clomid Cycle 2: Ovulated - BFN
Cycle 3: Started AF without meds and hoping to ovulate without meds!
Hubbys SA - January 7th
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Re: Dealing with the emotions

Postby LK1123 » Mon Nov 25, 2013 7:56 pm

Hi mossy oak.. I know this was posted almost a month ago, but I wanted to let you know that you are definitely not alone in how you feel. When DH and I first started trying, I was put on Femara as we knew I already had PCOS and would have to be. I was hopeful and after a few months of bfn, it really got hard on me. Then month 4 came and I got that BFP. Was so over the moon. Then lost the baby (my third loss/his first). So I felt more broken then ever. I, too, felt like maybe he'd be tired of it and leave one day. We had a great heart to heart about it and much like yours, mine said he would rather have a happy me and be happy together then a stressed out, down on myself, and depressed me with a kid. So we took a break from it for me to pray and heal emotionally. We are now in a great place and this is the first month we are starting again. Today is CD3 and day 1 back on Femara. So we shall see what this all brings. I'm really trying to not stress about it, but I'm scared of getting pregnant and I'm scared of not getting pregnant all at once. I know one thing - trying to conceive should never take priority over your marriage. Please, trust in him when he says he isn't going anywhere and that he loves you even without children. Don't let Satan get in your head about it and drive a wedge between your marriage. If you feel it happening, take a break and spend quality time together. I love your image and have reminded myself of that non stop. This is part of our testimony and one day the struggle will make sense. I'll be praying for you!
Me, Lindsay, 32 / DH, 34
Married 11.23.12
Me - Dx PCOS 2006(?) (on Femara); hypothyroidism 2013 (Synthroid 25mcg)
:angel: 07/02/13
:angel: 12/25/13


"Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her!" Luke 1:45

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Re: Dealing with the emotions

Postby Kendra313 » Fri Nov 29, 2013 10:24 am

Hi ladies have either of you researched or tried vitex? I to have pcos however I was able to conceive naturally but miscarried at 20wks due to incompetent cervix (caused by lack of progesterone which is common in women w/ pcos) Vitex is said to help correct our hormone issues and reduce chances of miscarriage also sd to help regulate menstrual cycles and ovulation. So if you have not heard of or tried vitex please do some research b/c based on what I've read this is somewhat of a miracle drug for us ladies w/ pcos and above all it is a natural herb which causes less harm to your body than most of the things the dr prescribes. Wishing you ladies success in your journeys to become moms. Happy Holidays
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Re: Dealing with the emotions

Postby LK1123 » Sat Nov 30, 2013 8:31 am

Thanks Kendra. I actually bought vitex and brought it to my appt with my endocrinologist who wasn't sold on the product. So I didn't take it. And then have since talked to other friends here and in real life who did and it made their cycles even more screwy. Have you tried it? I'm sorry to hear about your loss as well.
Me, Lindsay, 32 / DH, 34
Married 11.23.12
Me - Dx PCOS 2006(?) (on Femara); hypothyroidism 2013 (Synthroid 25mcg)
:angel: 07/02/13
:angel: 12/25/13


"Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her!" Luke 1:45

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Re: Dealing with the emotions

Postby redneckgurl26 » Sun Dec 01, 2013 6:45 pm

The emotions you go through when ttc with pcos are difficult and never really go away. I was diagnosed a year ago with pcos and was put on metformin to regulate my cycles and hormones. I have high high testosterone. The metformin alone has helped me ovulate. I got a bfp in July that ended in miscarriage which I have a history of. I just recently got my second bfp on Nov 13th and so far so good. The main difference between metformin and vitex is that met can be taken during the first trimester and is proven to reduce the risk of miscarriage. Yes I lost one lo while on it but I missed a month of taking it and I didn't know I was already pregnant. Plus I found out afterwards there was a chromosomal abnormality and that I also have mthfr. Sorry this became a bit more about me then I had originally planned. My point was talking about the emotional stuff helps as well as in my case anyways metformin. Good luck.
Me - 27
DBF - 32

02-2007 :angel: (blighted ovum)
07-2007 :angel: (baby passed @ 8 weeks)
07-2013 :angel: (baby passed @ 8+4)
12-2013 :angel: (blighted ovum)

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Re: Dealing with the emotions

Postby mossy_oak99 » Wed Dec 04, 2013 5:27 am

Thanks for all the replies ladies feels good to not be alone! I will look into Vitex. We just finished our second round of Clomid and ended in BFN. Now we are scheduling hubby for SA but we are done trying for now. Congratulations on your pregnancy redneck!
Me: 22 Hubby: 26
Diagnosis: PCOS - irregular cycles - no ovulation
Clomid Cycle 1: Ovulated - BFN
Clomid Cycle 2: Ovulated - BFN
Cycle 3: Started AF without meds and hoping to ovulate without meds!
Hubbys SA - January 7th
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Follow my journey at: http://www.babybattle.wordpress.com
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Re: Dealing with the emotions

Postby hopefullymommy » Wed Dec 18, 2013 6:58 pm

I agree, I think it is normal. My dh and I have just begun ttc, however I was dx pcos about 6 years ago. I've ttc before and so we went straight to the dr since we've decided to ttc. Just got blood work results that I have thyroid disease and high insulin :-( I feel broken too and I feel horrible because I know the road we are headed down and no matter how many times I try to explain to dh, I dont think he understands what we are in for. I also worry i won't ever be able to give him a child and it scares me. As soon as my friend asked me what is wrong today I broke down crying at work. Ttc is normally stressful, throw in pcos and infertility and it feels like the weight of the world on your shoulders. That is why having such a great community of women for support is great to have.
Me: Ally (29) :hb: DH: Austin (27)

5 Angels:
:angel: 1/06 chemical
:angel: 6/18/07 Dillen @ 42 weeks
:angel: 9/07 chemical
:angel: 12/12 early miscarriage
:angel: 7/15 chemical

:bfp: at 10dpo on 8/30/15
:boy: Declan born May 7, 2016~ 9lb 9oz

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