LONG post with tmi - looking for help :(

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LONG post with tmi - looking for help :(

Postby luna123 » Fri Dec 18, 2015 6:50 am

Hi,
Bit of backgroud:
Basically me and dh have been ttc number 1 for almost 2 years - I was diagnosed with PCOS and have irregular/non existent periods. I have never ever had regular periods, the most I have had in a row is 6 at which point there were 28 days between them, however I can then suddenly go a year without anything, when I wasn't ttc, I did go on the pill for a short while to give me a break through bleed however after going off the pill (about 6 years ago) I have been irregular and felt the doctors fobbed me off with it, since then about a year ago i really pushed for a referral which they gave me - I have had an ultrasound on my ovaries and was advised everything looked normal, no actual cysts etc - it was a blood test and other symptoms which made the consultant give the diagnoses. I was initially prescribed metformin as I have insulin resistance and was also advised this can regulate periods - this didn't happen so I have been given northistrone - this gave me a bleed but through opks and 21 day tests it was confirmed I was not ovulating, so I was then given northistrone and 50mg of clomid to take for 5 days from day 2 - I have not been scanned but have monitored through OPKS and a blood test.

So basically for the first time in two years I have had a positive opk - for the pst two years I have always had a line on the OPK but it was never ever as dark as the control - I have two positives one of CD15 which had a line of equal strength which I was extremely excited about and then on CD16 I had a line darker than the control! (back to negative on cd17) I also had some extreme cramping on CD16 as well! I had bd on both of these days and every other day for the rest of the cycle.

I had been advised to take the first positive OPK as O day and ignore any further positives, so according to this I should be 12DPO - I was initially feeling so so happy , hopeful and upbeat about this month as I have never seen a positive OPK, however this feeling is turning into sadness and anger now.. I have been testing since DPO7 and been getting bfn every time! I have been symptom watching and I had convinced myself that this was the month, I was getting tender breast, slight heavy feeling but not quite cramps, break out and feeling congested (I know not a symptom but other people had been saying that had this before a bfp!) but as time goes on I'm feeling AF is coming - I always get slight diarrhea (sorry tmi) for 3-5 days before I come on which I have just had the last two days, just wanted peoples opinions on wether I am definitely out this month or if there is a glimmer of hope?!

I just feel so sad for myself which I know I shouldn't, my best friend got pregnant in her first month of ttc and had a baby girl yesterday, I am so happy for her it just makes me realise what a hard journey we are on, my other closest friend has also recently told me she is expecting twins which were conceived whilst she was meant to be taking the pill - it just makes me really hate my body!!!

Any support/guidance would be so appreciated I just feel so lost and down in the dumps!! Likewise I would love love love to heard any bfp stories!! &#X1f603
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Re: LONG post with tmi - looking for help :(

Postby Nick02 » Fri Dec 18, 2015 7:15 pm

I understand how you're feeling. Every time I turn around someone is announcing their pregnancy. I did get one bfp (actually it was more like 15.... I kept testing!). Unfortunately, that ended in a loss. The month I got my bfp though, I had no symptoms. I thought my period was coming. I was shocked. I'm hoping this is your month and I think you still have a chance. Good luck.
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Re: LONG post with tmi - looking for help :(

Postby Little_Bits » Fri Dec 18, 2015 11:59 pm

I completely understand how frustrating getting a bfn is, but just remember that many women do not even implant until 7dpo (or later!) and it takes several days for your body to make enough hgc hormone to show up on a test. Don't give up yet and remember not everyone gets an early positive! Another thing is do you temp? Not to be negative, but women with PCOS are notorious for getting spikes and apparent ovulation, but not actually ovulating. Other than a blood test, a sustained temp rise is the only way to confirm ovulation. I would highly recommend it especially if you are so irregular to get to know your body better. I also found the book, 'taking charge of your fertility to be extremely helpful,coven with PCOS. Good luck and I hope you get you BFP!
Me: 28, mild PCOS, history of large cysts that rupture, stage 1 endometriosis resulting in severe abdominal pain, lap to remove endo and adhesions (4/28), HSG shows clear tubes.
Clomid 50mg (6/15) - no response
Clomid 100mg (8/15) - scan shows ONE follicle!!
DH: 34, perfect in every way
TTC since August 2014
First ever BFP October 22!! :bfp:
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http://wishingformyrainbow.blogspot.co.uk/

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My Ovulation Chart
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Re: LONG post with tmi - looking for help :(

Postby luna123 » Sat Dec 19, 2015 5:48 am

Yes it definitely does.. I've been avoiding social media as it felt like every day I was seeing a new announcement! and I'm sorry for loss, and thank you so much for your kind words Nick02.

Yes that is true, I just don't know I had convinced myself that this would be it as had never seen a positive opk, and yes I have started monitoring temp half way through this cycle so as time goes on I should get a better idea! I will have a look into that book :), Thank you little_bits :)
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Re: LONG post with tmi - looking for help :(

Postby saggitauris80 » Sun Dec 20, 2015 9:11 am

I really hope hope is is your cycle BFP. Keep you head up and keep an eye and your temps. Keep us posted. Xoxoxo
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