almost 42, 3 previous losses

TTC in our fabulous forties!

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almost 42, 3 previous losses

Postby heathb » Sun Jul 03, 2011 7:45 am

Hello, I'm 41 (42 in a few months) and have been married for almost 2 years. Our first preg. was 12/09 -ectopic, 2nd 10/10- m/c @6 weeks (no hbeat ever detected), 3rd- 12/10 - mc @18 weeks (trisomy 21). My husband and I are trying to decide if we have the courage to keep trying or the courage to stop trying...but I think I might b pregnant again. AF is due on July 5. I have such mixed feelings. We thought for sure we were in the clear when we made it out of the 1st trimester with our last pregnancy. What a shock to go in at 18 weeks and be told there was no longer a heartbeat. I was followed very carefully with ultrasounds every 2 weeks and on progesterone vag suppository for the first 10-11 weeks. We were heartbroken and the emotional pain of delivering our baby was almost too much. Also, the reality of possibly having a child with down syndrome has really come into play. Don't get me wrong...we wish we hadn't lost our little boy too- there are alot of emotions at play here. Anyway, I'm having mixed emotions at the thought of being pregnant. Just two more days to wait. This seemed like a good place to share some of my thoughts. I have several friends who have had healthy babies in their late 30s early 40s so I know it is possible but I've just experienced the other side of the coin. I know God will see me through no matter what....that is the one thing I know for sure.
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Postby Madasa30 » Mon Jul 04, 2011 12:25 pm

Just wanted to say how sorry I am for all your losses. It must be a terrible decision to carry on or stop trying for a baby when you have had so much heartbreak. I hope you get good news in the next few days xx
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Postby Fittblonde » Mon Jul 04, 2011 5:24 pm

heathb....I am so sorry for your losses. I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I have had 4 losses in a year. Although my last pregnancy I was not as far along as you, I went in for my 9 week scan to find no HB. Everything was going really well up to that point. Our baby boy had trisomy 15 which is not compatible with life so no matter what the baby would have died. I am proceeding with IVF but I am so nervous about the chromosomal problems that can come into play with AMA.

I wish you the best on your pregnancy and hope for a healthy baby.
Theresa 44, DH: 37
TTC #1 since 2/14/10 - 4 MC
3/11 Au natural BFP 10 DPO! Beta 1237 16 dpo
5/09 9 wk baby passed - boy Trisomy 15
IVF #1: 11/2011 - 3 retrieved - none to transfer

March 2012 au natural BFP at 9dpo!!!
3/14 Beta 1: 70@12DPO
3/16 Beta 2: 217@14DPO
5/14 NT scan and Maternity 21 Plus BW - norma
Amino and Micro Array testing - ALL NORMAL!!!!l
Donor egg cycle canceled due to our miracle
Chloe Ann arrived November 20, 2012 Via induction
TTC Baby #2 Au Natural until November 2014 then we will move onto Donor Eggs
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Postby Liz761 » Tue Jul 05, 2011 11:06 am

I am so sorry about your loses. I admire your courage for continue to try despite everything. This proof that if someone can make it is you. Don’t give up yet, of course it should be your decision. I just think that you have it in you to keep going. I had one lost at 8 weeks around 6 years ago. It was so painful physically and emotionally that I lost my desire to have another child. If it wasn’t because I married a wonderful man two years ago, I would abandon the idea. You have kept going, you are stronger than you think. Don’t give up hope, when you have your baby in your arms it would be all worthy. Best regards.
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Postby heathb » Fri Jul 15, 2011 7:54 am

Hi Ladies,
Thank you for your encouragement and kind words. AF arrived as scheduled...lots of mixed emotions. For now, hubby is not on board to continue trying and I understand as all the losses have been traumatizing. Best wishes to you all.
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Postby ~layla~ » Sun Jul 24, 2011 11:33 pm

u have been thru alot and im so sorry for your losses. the father of my little one also didnt want to try anymore after i had a chemical and i had to do a lot of convincing and cajoling to get him to agree to ttc. we arent even together now which is ok. he turned out to be an @ssho*e. i hope your dh comes around. sometimes they say that but in the end they give in. its hard on them too. i really hope he comes around for u. and as far as your baby having downs, i know its a chance we all take. i didnt even get the amnio because i was going to keep her regardless and i just had faith that she would be ok. the odds are higher for us, but there is still a way better chance that they wont have it. its ok to be scared about it. i think there are 3 phases of stress in ttc when u are older. 1st, its get your bfp, then its till u see that hb, and then till they do the u/s and quad screen to know if your baby is ok. then and only then can we breathe a sigh of relief. im wishing u the best.
4DD's-24,12,8 and 2.5
chemical 2/08 m/c 4/98
lily elizabeth born 4/2/10 via c section
8lbs 14oz 20in.

bfp on aug 9, 2009 at 13dpo.
1st femara cycle.
8th cycle ttc
1st beta 17dpo-159
2nd beta 22dpo-694
3rd beta 31dpo-24,600
no longer ttc. im blessed with my tww baby and here to cheer everyone on.
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