Naysayers...

TTC in our fabulous forties!

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Postby TTCnumber2at42 » Mon Jun 04, 2012 5:02 am

Don't let her get you down .. prove her wrong! That will help you keep focused on TTC (lol ... sorry) but I hate when people say stuff like that. My mom continues to say ... you're trying to hard OR you should be happy with having your DS only, why would you want another... don't get me wrong my DS is our wonderful miracle but people just don't understand because they feel every women should be able to get pregnant no problem!

I will get pregnant and have a healthy child and be the best mom I possibly can. I will prove to my parents, in-laws (who frown at me when I say we are still trying ~ like they feel sorry for me... WTF - sorry for the language), a few unsupportive friends and my RE who discontinued treatments that women can have healthy children after 40.
Me 42 in September 2012 ~DH 35 in June 2012 ~DS 2 in July 2012
Angel #1 March 2008 6 weeks 6 days
Angel # 2 May 2011 6 weeks 2 days
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Postby SJohnson » Mon Jun 04, 2012 1:26 pm

Lucky Jules, don't let her get to you. My acupuncturist has 2 women pregnant in their 40s. One has twins. Family can be discouraging sometimes but stay postive with positive energy your way from others. Baby dust to you :)
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Postby TTCnumber2at42 » Tue Jun 05, 2012 4:31 am

I'm glad she apologized ... not that I'm excusing what she did but could be pregnancy hormones ...... When I was pregnant, I called my boss an idiot to his face, I REALLY didn't mean to, I mean I usually think these type of things but never say them out load. Good thing he laughed and said "yep you're pregnant alright, my wife use to call me all sorts of things when those pregnancy hormones started raging" (good thing we laughed about it).
Me 42 in September 2012 ~DH 35 in June 2012 ~DS 2 in July 2012
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Angel # 2 May 2011 6 weeks 2 days
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Postby TTCnumber2at42 » Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:21 am

Sorry Lucky_Jules, I misread your post.
Me 42 in September 2012 ~DH 35 in June 2012 ~DS 2 in July 2012
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Angel # 2 May 2011 6 weeks 2 days
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Postby Possum » Tue Jun 19, 2012 6:54 pm

You can do it!

I'm 42 and (God willing) will be a first time mom at 43. It took us four tries to get here (we lost three). I am 18 weeks and still pregnant!

We had testing done (MaterniT21 bloodtest) and so far there are no signs at all of Down's or other trisomy.

You can do it!

Baby dust to all of you. I will keep you in my prayers and ask that you keep me and my little one in yours. We did not think a child was possible but the universe (and a kind doctor) had other plans.

--Possum
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Don't ever give up!!

Postby happy49 » Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:18 am

hi, just wanted to stop by to encourage you!
I am 49 and just got a bfp on June 29th. I will be a first time mom.

Keep going, trust God and take care of you! All things work together for the good...Romans 8:28
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Thank you so much!

Postby happy49 » Sun Jul 01, 2012 9:50 am

Just came from church and can't stop thanking God!
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Postby KyrinM » Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:27 pm

Man I am with you, my Mom keeps telling me I am too old, & that we should be happy with the children we have and that while it is too bad DH has no bio children of his own, we should just accept it. She seems to think he is pushing me for a child, no, we both want this child. He has already told me that if we can't, then we can't, but we want to try.

I admit it will break my heart if I can't give this wonderful man a child of his own, so I am going to be stubborn for a long time. But it hurts me that my Mom is so unsupportive, she keeps bringing up that I will be in my 60's by the time they are out of HS. I say, yeah, so? She says having kids and being 60 will be hard, uh my child will be an adult, how hard can that be by then?

Now a little background, she married a man a few years younger than she was when I was 8, her tubes were already tied by then, he accepted that he would never have bio children of his own. I think she has always felt bad that my stepdad never had any children of his own by her or anyone else. I am sorry that our decision to get a TR & try hurts her, because it wasn't an option for her, but it would be nice to have her support.
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Postby KyrinM » Sat Sep 08, 2012 7:09 pm

I'm 42, hubby is 28. My children are 6 and 11, so if we can manage to get pregnant soon there won't be a gigantic gap between the two youngest, I had hoped to only end up with a 5 year gap between them, but TR surgery is not cheap, so we just couldn't manage it.

My birthday is in Feb. so I will be at least 43 by the time we have a child, but I still don't consider that all that old. My Mom is just weird, she is 63 now and she feels old and worn out so she thinks having an 17 or 18 your old child to still worry over at that age is going to be too hard. But she needs to remember that hubby will only be about 46, so whatever I can't handle, he can. Not like I am gonna be all alone.

I am in good health, a little overweight, but who isn't? But other than that no issues or things to worry over. I really think a lot of why she tried to talk me out of it is due to guilt about my stepfather & not being able to give him kids besides us. That is her issue to work through, not mine.
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Postby TTCnumber2at42 » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:04 am

Kyrin, it is always hard When you don't have family support, this forum is a great place to turn to! You will find most women on the over 40 forum get the same resistance as you are getting from family and no one understands the ups and downs of TTC later in life but we do. I like most rely heavily for emotional support, questions, advice, laughs, celebrations and even shoulders to cry on.

I get the same reaction from my mom til I told her to but out if she is not supportive of me keep her options to her self. I know it is harsh but the whole just relax u will get pregnant or ur trying to hard or worse ur too old is just too much for me to handle along with the emotional roller coaster. And yes I also feel that the regrets of our mom's or the lack of perserverance they try to hold against their daughters verses encouraging them.... Probably also the fact that moms cannot stand to see their children get hurt plays a role too.
Me 42 in September 2012 ~DH 35 in June 2012 ~DS 2 in July 2012
Angel #1 March 2008 6 weeks 6 days
Angel # 2 May 2011 6 weeks 2 days
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Postby KyrinM » Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:37 am

TTC#2, yeah, she doesn't want me hurt in case we try & it doesn't work. I think also she worries that despite what my husband has said that he might leave me if I can't give him a child. That would hurt me so bad it isn't funny, I love him more than anyone outside of my children. But he knows that. One of the reasons I love him so much is he is always very aware of my feelings, he always knows when I am upset, always.

My Mom isn't exactly unsupportive so much as expressing her opinion that this is not really something she thinks I needed to do. She will love her new grandchild & she wishes us the very best, she just thinks I am insane.

But I love my husband & he is a wonderful father to my children & you can see everytime eh sees a baby or holds one how much he wants his own. Then there is me, every time I see a new baby, I wish he/she were mine...it has always been that way, I just love little ones, so not hard to talk me into another, besides a child is the most beautiful expression of love you can give your spouse, I want to give my husband that gift.
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Postby KyrinM » Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:39 am

Wow, today I am queen of the run on sentence! LOL!
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Postby TTCnumber2at42 » Sun Sep 09, 2012 1:00 pm

Sorry for jumping to conclusions Kyrin .... As u know mom's worry and are always looking to take care of their children at any age and shield them from harm.

My mom has never been very supportive in anything I do, that's just the way she is. I know she loves me and will help me when I need it but I think she has a hard time communicating being supportive. Plus my mom tends to give up if things get hard, I'm a fighter and the words can't and won't are not in my vocabulary .... Stubborn and strong willed are though!! Since TTC #2 I have found out that my mom has suffered from numerous miscarriages that neither I or my dad were aware of.... My parents generation didn't talk about it, they just accepted it and dealt with their feelings behind closed doors.
Me 42 in September 2012 ~DH 35 in June 2012 ~DS 2 in July 2012
Angel #1 March 2008 6 weeks 6 days
Angel # 2 May 2011 6 weeks 2 days
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Postby KyrinM » Sun Sep 09, 2012 7:40 pm

TTC#2, sorry that your Mom hasn't always supported you tha way she should. At our age we juust have to suck it up and say, well it's my life not yours. I've had to do that a few times in my life with mine. Nowadays I kinda have her trained, cause she says that before I do now. It's your life hon, I know you are going to do what you feel is best for you.

I think she just worries that I will be disappointed or something bad will happen. We're not in the best financial situation at this moment in time, so I know what she is saying, but I also feel that sometimes you just have to take a risk to get what you want. If you aren't willing to take a risk, maybe you don't deserve it.

Anyway, everything usually works out how it needs to.
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Re: Don't ever give up!!

Postby JenniHavingFaith » Thu Nov 01, 2012 8:01 pm

happy49 wrote:hi, just wanted to stop by to encourage you!
I am 49 and just got a bfp on June 29th. I will be a first time mom.

Keep going, trust God and take care of you! All things work together for the good...Romans 8:28


THIS made me so happy when I read it. So amazing! Congrats.

I am leaning on Proverbs 3:5-6.
me 43 ~~ dh 44 ~~ Low AMH - .3 ~~ Normal FSH
DSS 6 y.o. ~~ Fur Babies: Fergus my 12 y.o. Westie, Bailey DH 7 y.o. Lab/Beagle
TTC since Oct 2012
1/20/2013 9dpo First HPT
1/29/2013 Beta Test - great range!
2/5/2013 5 weeks HB 100bpm
2/25/2013 8 weeks HB 174bpm
3/28/2013 12 weeks 2 days, HP 115, clear Nuchal Translucency and all genetic test negative.

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