Two Week Wait

TTC in our fabulous forties!
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TTC @ 43 for first time

Thu Nov 01, 2012 7:06 pm

Hello All,
I've been lurking for about week now and decided it was time to post. I hope I can join this little group. You all seem like you're having fun while trying to deal with the TTC stress. And I found forums to be full of know it alls. :(

I married DH (first marriage) on November 6, 2010. Two year anniversary is next week. DH was married previously but she died in 2007. They had a child together - he was 17 months old when she passed. In any case, I came into the picture and became an "instant Mom". While it's great and DS is a good kid, he's not biologically mine. I would like DH and I to have our own biological child. I've wanted babies since I was small myself. It's something I've always thought I would get to do, until recently.

Long story short, we returned from the honeymoon in November 2010 to me having a lot of health issues. I already had Reactive Arthritis which I contracted from a massive Salmonella infection I got in 1991 in the former Soviet Union. My former (up in Philly) Primary diagnosed me with this chronic auto-immune condition in 2008 when he found the antibodies from all four types of Salmonella in my blood. I refuse to medicate and manage this Auto-Immune condition with lifestyle, diet and exercise. The worst I take is Motrin but only when I absolutely can't stand the daily pain in my joints. Since going gluten-free and organic this past May, my inflammation and daily pain is greatly reduced to the point I don't have any some days. Vast difference from the past four years. But back to my health problems post honeymoon. The short story is I was hypothyroid and didn't know it. The symptoms look like Peri-menopause or like I'm having a flare of my arthritis (currently I'm in remission). I got diagnosed and was put on Synthroid but in the six weeks AFTER my honeymoon and before getting diagnosed I had gained nearly 30 lbs. On my wedding day I was a perfect size 8 with no alterations to my wedding dress. Since that time I had tried to lose the weight with the thought if I'm going to get pregnant I need to lose to reduce the stress on my already painful joints. So this goes on for 15 months and the weight was not coming off and I refused to try to get pregnant with the weight on. This was probably a mistake with 20/20 hindsight. I said to DH maybe we should have been Not Trying/Not Preventing during that time.

Fast forward to this past September. I go to my Primary for my annual but first I write her an email telling her I want my T3 thyroid levels tested and I'm frustrated with the scale actually going up instead of down. I had lost about 7 lbs but it took nearly 9 months to get that far. Ok so I get to my appointment and we're talking about the fact I want to get pregnant but I want the weight off. She suggests an AMH test and FSH test along with my other usual blood work. I think I was on CD7 or 8. Anyway, I go for it and a very short two days later I have my FSH in hand - normal at 4.8. But my AMH is on the bottom end of low at 0.3 just .1 away from what they consider pre-menopause. Now the AMH is not that accurate without other testing - but it scared me. So DH and discussed it and decided to start trying right away. Even though I'm TTC I am still exercising and trying to lose some weight and so far since October 3 I've lost 4lbs - tremendous achievement given the last 15 months.

So I also got my new thyroid med - a T3 med on top of my Synthroid (which accounts for my metabolism improving), and within a day my energy is markedly improved and my cycle lengthened to 26 days from 22 days. CD 1 was on October 14 - three days later than I expected. I attribute it to the new meds. I've been a straight 28 day girl with no variation my whole life until this thyroid thing. The last 15 months it lengthened to 24 days, then this past July shortened again to 22 and stayed there til I got my new meds in October 2012. I've also never missed a period in my life, had no fibroids, PCOS or cysts of any kind. I was so consistent til the hypothyroidism that I could count to the minute when AF would arrive!

During this past month, DH and I have discussed how we want to move forward and what our options could be. We have decided that IVF and/or donor eggs are out completely. We have also decided that we will try until mid-December naturally then get a referral to an RE to hear options only. We are afraid that hearing all of it could cause a level of stress that will cause us to NOT get pregnant. Given that I have NEVER tried before in my life til this last month, that I've had perfect gynecological exams my whole life, and a very consistent cycle until my thyroid issues, and that we have NO baseline we thought 3 months was not a bad timeline. I emailed my Primary and she thought our plan was reasonable and advised me to come back in Late Nov/early Dec to have hormone panels run again plus progesterone just to see if there was any different result, and she would give us the RE referral.

So now I'm learning how to do BBT - my thermometer arrived on Tuesday. I'm also learning to use OPK's, and I'm trying to pinpoint my O dates. I don't know yet but I suspect I'm either O'ing really early, or really late b/c it's def not happening on Day 13-15 - I tested with negatives every time.

I have been prepping my body with eating and supplements since January 2011, and I cleaned up further in May 2012 going organic, grass-fed and gluten free. I do eat dairy. I have no adverse reaction to it so I continue to have it. I've already got my DHA, folate and Vitamin D on the supplement menu. I'm considering CoQ10, Royal Jelly, EPO and B6. There is a full B range in my multi but I don't think it could hurt to add it. I'm also on Cal-Mag and Flax Seed Oil (for my arthritis). I'm switching from Motrin to Tylenol, and am considering adding Melatonin.

It's only been one month of TTC, but already I'm feeling discouraged, and I know I shouldn't. That AMH number haunts me even though I've read the test doesn't always measure accurately. I just always thought that within the first few times of not preventing I would get pregnant b/c that's how it went for me. I was adamant about protection before we were married - my family is old fashioned and I didn't want to walk down the aisle pregnant or carrying an infant.

So, here I am, inspired by those of you that have gotten BFP's and wanting one desperately for myself, and mourning with those of you that didn't get them.

I could also be pregnant already b/c I'm finishing my 2 WW. I will be able to test on Sat or Sun this weekend. I don't really think I am though - just wishful, hopeful thinking. AF is due on 11/7 according to my app. I'm using FF.

So that's it. That's my story and how I got here.

Re: TTC @ 43 for first time

Sun Nov 04, 2012 7:42 pm

Welcome! Good for you for changing your diet and being so proactive! I hope you get your bfp naturally and don't even have to take the next step! I won't be able to be of any help in the supps dept or the tests you mentioned but there are plenty of knowledgeable women on here!

Re: TTC @ 43 for first time

Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:05 am

Welcome, this group is small but very understanding and we have all been through the ups and downs of TTC. No question is a dumb question. Feel free to laugh, cry, complain, we are here to help or just listen.

You probably have seen me post that there have been 6 BFP out of approximately 15 ladies since I joined in March 2012.

Re: TTC @ 43 for first time

Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:36 pm

Welcome to our group....looking forward to positive things for all of us!!

Re: TTC @ 43 for first time

Wed Nov 07, 2012 11:30 am

Thanks All for the welcome!

@Empire: Don't have a chart yet. Going to start on CD1 coming up. :)

I got BFN this week so onwards and upwards. Not too worried. It's only been one month of TTC.

Re: TTC @ 43 for first time

Fri Nov 09, 2012 7:24 am

That's the right attitude Jenni .... TTC may take longer after 40, but positive thoughts reduces stress and also helps with the home environment. welcome!

Re: TTC @ 43 for first time

Sat Nov 10, 2012 11:26 am

TTCnumber2at42 wrote:That's the right attitude Jenni .... TTC may take longer after 40, but positive thoughts reduces stress and also helps with the home environment. welcome!

Yeah, so this is my thinking: I'm not 'broken'. I'm just older. So there's nothing to say (yet) that I can't do this naturally. So rather than get discouraged, upset and anxious I'm just doing everything possible myself to help it along. As long as I feel like I have a semblance of control over my decisions to help solve a problem I can remain pretty calm.

Though I will admit I got a bit teary eyed yesterday when a couple friend of ours who we met on our honeymoon announced they were having a girl. I get quite emotional around other people's announcements. But a sorority sister of mine (same class) also just gave birth to her second, a baby girl, this past Sunday - and she's 44. So that gave me hope. I'm all over the board emotionally on this... but I let it out then move on and don't dwell there.

Re: TTC @ 43 for first time

Sat Nov 10, 2012 2:56 pm

Hearing other couples announce their pregnant is definitely bittersweet and natural. It is natural to be jealous, it is even okay to skip baby showers if it upsets you that much. Don't beat yourself up over those feelings. Selfish or not, they still are your feelings. We all understand these feelings.

I would like to have a few choice words with my high school sex Ed teacher who preached we should always stay on birth control because the second you are off it you WILL get pregnant. I spent my life on birth control because I never heard ANYONE who had trouble TTC. I just thought it was every women's gift to the world. The day I got married (9years ago) I went off birth control, it took us6 years and an IUI to have our DS. Now I find myself at 42 desperately trying for number 2.

Re: TTC @ 43 for first time

Sun Nov 18, 2012 8:29 am

Jenni...good luck on TTC. There have been so many here getting pregnant over 40. I follow along with all of you here and there. I also had very low AMH. I think mine was .34. My FSH was 6.3. With such a low AMH, IVF was a total flop because I did not produce a lot of eggs. We decided to move onto egg donor or go at it one egg at a time. Well in waiting for our donor, we got pregnant naturally. So the one egg at a time works! I was also on thyroid medication to get my levels between 1 and 2. There has been some research that this is the optimum level for pregnancy so my RE put me on meds.

I applaud you for all the lifestyle changes. I know how hard that can be. I hope you don't have to wait long for that BFP!!!

Re: TTC @ 43 for first time

Mon Nov 19, 2012 6:55 am

Hi I am new here and 42 ttcing #10. I am sorry for all your health issues.I just decided to take a good look at my lifestyle and make some changes such as more raw food and less dairy and bread. I need to lose weight and get back on my thyroid meds. I feel encouraged and hopefully it will help. I am really trying to take the attitude of it will take longer and try to relax. I am also seeing My Dr about clomid as well it would not hurt to try everything we can at this point. I have been semi successful with clomid in the past with unexplained ANNOV cycles. Good luck I hope you see a speedy sticky BFP!!

Re: TTC @ 43 for first time

Mon Nov 19, 2012 10:08 am

OMG 10thtimearound I am so green with envy I am glowing :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: My dream was always to have at least 5 children or my own hockey team now I'm fighting tooth and nail for a second one.

Re: TTC @ 43 for first time

Mon Nov 19, 2012 10:35 am

Fitt - Congrats on the baby. Yours is one of the first stories I read when I joined the boards and was lurking. :) Gives me hope. We're out for IVF
or donor eggs. The most I think we'll do if we get that far is Femara or some sort of stim drug. I'm hoping we don't have to do any of it. The lifestyle changes weren't that hard. Back in 2007 and 2008 I had lost 60 lbs simply by eating clean, whole food and regularly exercising. I just had to make adjustments b/c of my thyroid condition and my arthritis that was diagnosed in May 2008. I have an auto immune form which mimics Rheumatoid. Slows me down a bit.

We're on CD 10 today and still no pos OPK, though my temps look like they may be going the right way. FF is saying my ov date is Wednesday but I don't know for sure since I've only started temping and tracking on 11/10. I have been having twinges alternating on both sides for the past two days. The next few days should be interesting in any case. I"m trying to test twice a day today, tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday. Hoping for that pos very soon.

Re: TTC @ 43 for first time

Sat Nov 24, 2012 5:17 pm

4dpo. Low grade fever, nausea, and feeling blah. Could be sick or maybe early signs?

Re: TTC @ 43 for first time

Fri Nov 30, 2012 11:07 am

Anyone wanna take a look at my chart and give me your opinion?

I had someone on Chart Stalkers tell me I ovulated on CD 15 or 16 but they obviously didn't pay attention to my pos OPK's on CD 10 and 11. Argh...

Also, I slept 11 hours last night. Eleven. I never woke up til 11:40 this morning. That's the second time this week I've slept more than 9. Nine is pretty typical for me b/c of my arthritis - the constant low levels of pain make me tired especially when I've had a very active day.

Another BFN this morning. Still early I know but it's sort of a pain b/c I'd rather not have the surprise of a BFP AFTER I ride the rides at Universal next week. We've got three day park to park tix, and DS is finally big enough to ride with me and DH.
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