IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

TTC in our fabulous forties!

Moderators: unaffected, JessM, southernbelle, maddy

IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby Jasmine » Sun Feb 17, 2013 10:46 pm

Just turned 40 in Dec last yr.

After 2 IVF attempts (1st one m/c, 2nd one chemical) I asked for a 3rd treatment. My RE(I have 2 REs, this one working at the public hosp) granted me a comment which I found very discouraging. She said "I admire your courage". Now I don't think that's a compliment, in fact it hit me quite hard. What does she mean by it? Is she saying that I'm too old and I should give up? Am I daydreaming about having kids at the age of 40? Am I just wasting my money on IVFs?

Since I've had 2 m/cs and 1 chemical, I'm assuming my eggs/embryos just aren't healthy enough to go on full term. I'm losing confidence here...and so hope to find some hope here. I was also given only 15% chance of pregnancy to term with my last IVF (with 3 embryos transferred). The number is quite discouraging too. Should I believe in these numbers and stats? Should I continue with my dream? :(
Natural Cycle-Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sept 2007
IVF #1-Our 2nd sweet baby--m/c naturally 10w5d (baby no more heartbeat 9w3d), Aug 2012
IVF#2-Chemical Pregnancy, Feb 2013

IVF#3-Cancelled because of poor response, Jun 2013
User avatar
Jasmine
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 109
Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:00 am

Re: IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby momof2girls1017 » Mon Feb 18, 2013 11:26 am

The only ones being unrealistic is your drs comment! Your ONLY 40! You've been pregnant and you can get pregnant again! Good luck and welcome to the group!
momof2girls1017
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 95
Joined: Tue Sep 18, 2012 11:25 am

Re: IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby shanessa91 » Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:06 am

Absolutely you are not being unrealistic. I didn't even start my IVF journey until I was 41. Sadly both my attempts ended in chemicals. We elected to go the natural route but not because I believed I was too old for IVF. Follow thru with your dream. Regarding the doctor, I wasn't there but maybe she meant that after suffering through two m/c and a chemical that you must be a strong woman to survive and try again. In that vein, I too admire your courage! :D Good luck!
Me 43, DH 47 DS 6
MC – 4/06 (5wks, nat), 7/06 (blight ovum 6wks, d&c), 2/09 (molar 5wks, d&c), 4/10 (nat)
Fibroid surg. – 08/05, 09/06, 08/09
01/07 - BFP! - DS born 10/2007
HSG –12/10 convoluted tubes (adhesions?), left w/ slight hydro; HSG 01/13 -tubes open. Poss convolution/dilation on left
Took ttc break 2011 (new job/loss of father)!
IVF#1, 03/12 – 22 retrieved, 4 trans – BFP: Chem, beta = 4.3
IVF#2, 05/12 – 16 retrieved w/ Lupron, 5 trans – BFP: Chem, beta 6
FET 08/12 - 1 embryo - BFN
03/08/13 - 13DPO - BFP!!
03/13/13 Beta 170, Progesterone 13.51
03/18/13 Beta 1035, Progesterone 12.18

03/29/13 U/S - Saw and heard HB! 118bps
05/31/13 - DS loss at 15 weeks

"For nothing is impossible with God." (Luke 1:37)
User avatar
shanessa91
TTC Princess
TTC Princess
 
Posts: 178
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2012 12:00 am
Location: NYC Metro (live in NJ)

Re: IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby Jasmine » Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:26 am

momof2girls1017 wrote:The only ones being unrealistic is your drs comment! Your ONLY 40! You've been pregnant and you can get pregnant again! Good luck and welcome to the group!


Thanks! Makes me feel better. :) Haven't been here before, guess I should start reading....
Natural Cycle-Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sept 2007
IVF #1-Our 2nd sweet baby--m/c naturally 10w5d (baby no more heartbeat 9w3d), Aug 2012
IVF#2-Chemical Pregnancy, Feb 2013

IVF#3-Cancelled because of poor response, Jun 2013
User avatar
Jasmine
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 109
Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:00 am

Re: IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby Jasmine » Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:41 am

shanessa91 wrote:Absolutely you are not being unrealistic. I didn't even start my IVF journey until I was 41. Sadly both my attempts ended in chemicals. We elected to go the natural route but not because I believed I was too old for IVF. Follow thru with your dream. Regarding the doctor, I wasn't there but maybe she meant that after suffering through two m/c and a chemical that you must be a strong woman to survive and try again. In that vein, I too admire your courage! :D Good luck!


I do feel very bitter about my experience. I regret that I didn't start until 34. I have never guessed that I would miscarry and not being able to conceive again. After all these years, I could get very sensitive over these issues....

Ha ha...maybe I was thinking too much, maybe I wasn't. I told my nurse at the clinic about what the dr said and she also said maybe the dr didn't mean it that way. I prefer her not commenting at all. :mrgreen:

Good luck to you too! Wish all our dreams come true soon! :balloons:
Natural Cycle-Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sept 2007
IVF #1-Our 2nd sweet baby--m/c naturally 10w5d (baby no more heartbeat 9w3d), Aug 2012
IVF#2-Chemical Pregnancy, Feb 2013

IVF#3-Cancelled because of poor response, Jun 2013
User avatar
Jasmine
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 109
Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:00 am

Re: IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby Second_Chance » Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:14 am

There are more than 1/2 the active posters on this board over 40 that are preg right now or just had a baby... DO NOT GIVE UP. They are proof positive that being over 40 is NOT to late... Just keep at it if you can afford to.
Me: 44 DH: 45
TTC #1 since June 2012
DH- Perfect
ME- DOR due to age

March 2013 started taking DHEA 25mg 3 times a day FSH is now 8.5... down from 17.8 from 3 months earlier. They want it well below 10.

June, 2013- AMH level .016 (low) they want it over 1.

June 2013- Antral Follicle Ct- 6 (low) they want it over 10.


My Current Cycle Chart
Image
My Ovulation Chart
|| [url=http;//www.fertilityfriend.com]Ovulation Calendar[/url]
Second_Chance
TTC Princess
TTC Princess
 
Posts: 291
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2012 12:00 am
Location: USA- Midwest

Re: IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby 10thtimearound » Thu Feb 21, 2013 2:32 am

I agree you are not to old! I personally would do another as MANY women over 40 have gotten pg!
Birth/Grief Support Doula, Busy Mom to 9 ttcing #10

5 girls ,4 boys. 22,20,18,( 5 years unexplained infertility) 11,10,8,7,5,2

Nine 1st trimester losses, Two 2nd trimester losses at 17 wks(Pathology came back normal both times) :(
ImageImageImage
My Ovulation Chart
10thtimearound
TTC Queen
TTC Queen
 
Posts: 351
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2012 3:36 am

Re: IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby Jasmine » Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:19 am

Second_Chance wrote:There are more than 1/2 the active posters on this board over 40 that are preg right now or just had a baby... DO NOT GIVE UP. They are proof positive that being over 40 is NOT to late... Just keep at it if you can afford to.


Actually I hadn't really read the posts on this board (I was kind of hanging around the IVF board) I was just panicking after my RE's comment and posted this question...hope I didn't offend anyone older than me here...

Really that's great to know! Thanks for giving me hope! :D
Natural Cycle-Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sept 2007
IVF #1-Our 2nd sweet baby--m/c naturally 10w5d (baby no more heartbeat 9w3d), Aug 2012
IVF#2-Chemical Pregnancy, Feb 2013

IVF#3-Cancelled because of poor response, Jun 2013
User avatar
Jasmine
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 109
Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:00 am

Re: IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby Jasmine » Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:20 am

10thtimearound wrote:I agree you are not to old! I personally would do another as MANY women over 40 have gotten pg!


Thanks! I hope I fall into that category soon!
Natural Cycle-Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sept 2007
IVF #1-Our 2nd sweet baby--m/c naturally 10w5d (baby no more heartbeat 9w3d), Aug 2012
IVF#2-Chemical Pregnancy, Feb 2013

IVF#3-Cancelled because of poor response, Jun 2013
User avatar
Jasmine
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 109
Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:00 am

Re: IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby TTCnumber2at42 » Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:42 am

Jasmine, follow your heart not your RE. Perhaps it is time to find a new RE. My RE asked me how old I was (after treating my for 6 months ... hmmmm) and when I told him I was 42 he said oh well them you need donor eggs or adoption. I was crushed beyond belief and as my DH was with me for support (bless his heart), he is uneductaed in TTC (and not as stubborn as me either) so he took the REs word as the final decision. I tried to talk my DH into trying a different RE in Toronto where the true "experts" are verses my RE in our smaller community.... but he said no ... I did convince him into trying naturally. So I am seeing a Fertility Naturopath, losing weight, concentrating on egg quality, reducing stress and most importantly enjoying my family.
Me 42 in September 2012 ~DH 35 in June 2012 ~DS 2 in July 2012
Angel #1 March 2008 6 weeks 6 days
Angel # 2 May 2011 6 weeks 2 days
My Ovulation Chart
User avatar
TTCnumber2at42
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 597
Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2012 1:00 am
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby Jasmine » Wed Mar 06, 2013 1:35 am

TTCnumber2at42 wrote:Jasmine, follow your heart not your RE. Perhaps it is time to find a new RE. My RE asked me how old I was (after treating my for 6 months ... hmmmm) and when I told him I was 42 he said oh well them you need donor eggs or adoption. I was crushed beyond belief and as my DH was with me for support (bless his heart), he is uneductaed in TTC (and not as stubborn as me either) so he took the REs word as the final decision. I tried to talk my DH into trying a different RE in Toronto where the true "experts" are verses my RE in our smaller community.... but he said no ... I did convince him into trying naturally. So I am seeing a Fertility Naturopath, losing weight, concentrating on egg quality, reducing stress and most importantly enjoying my family.


Thanks...I wish you the best in your journey. Actually I'm getting subsidized and I need to see this RE for my meds. Once in a while she just say things that aren't exactly encouraging in my point of view. I'd just have to stick with her for now...Hope it won't be long. :?
Natural Cycle-Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sept 2007
IVF #1-Our 2nd sweet baby--m/c naturally 10w5d (baby no more heartbeat 9w3d), Aug 2012
IVF#2-Chemical Pregnancy, Feb 2013

IVF#3-Cancelled because of poor response, Jun 2013
User avatar
Jasmine
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 109
Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:00 am

Re: IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby *Apples* » Wed Mar 06, 2013 3:09 am

Erm, my sister is 46 and has just delivered a healthy baby boy last month 7lbs 7oz. You are not too old. Good luck!
*Apples*
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 979
Joined: Tue Sep 18, 2012 1:57 am

Re: IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby Jasmine » Wed Mar 06, 2013 3:41 am

*Apples* wrote:Erm, my sister is 46 and has just delivered a healthy baby boy last month 7lbs 7oz. You are not too old. Good luck!


Wow that's wonderful! Congrats to your sister! :D
Natural Cycle-Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sept 2007
IVF #1-Our 2nd sweet baby--m/c naturally 10w5d (baby no more heartbeat 9w3d), Aug 2012
IVF#2-Chemical Pregnancy, Feb 2013

IVF#3-Cancelled because of poor response, Jun 2013
User avatar
Jasmine
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 109
Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:00 am

Re: IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby Noregrets » Fri Mar 08, 2013 11:28 am

My friend's sister in law just gave birth to a son too... and she's 45. Took her 2 years to conceive him and against her extended family's wishes/advices. And now she's holding her precious and perfectly healthy son.
Noregrets
TTC Princess
TTC Princess
 
Posts: 193
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2012 6:17 pm

Re: IVF#3 at 40, am I being unrealistic?

Postby Jasmine » Sun Mar 17, 2013 7:58 pm

Noregrets wrote:My friend's sister in law just gave birth to a son too... and she's 45. Took her 2 years to conceive him and against her extended family's wishes/advices. And now she's holding her precious and perfectly healthy son.


It takes a lot of courage to conceive in this age, and we have our own reasons for conceiving so late. If it's fine with the mom and dad, then who cares!
Natural Cycle-Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sept 2007
IVF #1-Our 2nd sweet baby--m/c naturally 10w5d (baby no more heartbeat 9w3d), Aug 2012
IVF#2-Chemical Pregnancy, Feb 2013

IVF#3-Cancelled because of poor response, Jun 2013
User avatar
Jasmine
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 109
Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:00 am


Return to TTC in our 40s