40 or over, will I be a mum or not...

TTC in our fabulous forties!

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40 or over, will I be a mum or not...

Postby Hope2015 » Sat Apr 18, 2015 8:30 am

Im posting a new topic here as Im 40, and not sure whether ill be a mum oneday. . .

There are a lot of women who do have a child at 40, and say its harder because of less energy, more tiredness, etc so their advice to me was to hurry up, dont wait too long, go get tested, check your egg reserve, you'll be pregnant in 6 months... words of encouragement.

I've been to a naturopath, tried vitamins/supplements, tried Maca (didnt work well with my system), acupuncture, reduced my work (stress) as they say high stress isnt good to ttc. Tried ivf.

I started at 37 and have been checked and tested over and over again. My hubby also.

Now having a break (ttc with ivf route) and learning to ENJOY the things I loved doing before and you know what? It was wonderful.

Anyone going through the same thing who is around 40, reached a milestone age and is happy with their accomplishments and unsure whether ever becoming a mother .... as I understand.
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Re: 40 or over, will I be a mum or not...

Postby southernbelle » Sat Apr 18, 2015 7:08 pm

I have a daughter, but I'm 40 and I get what you're saying about stopping to smell the roses. Before I had her ttc consumed my life. I realized it fairly quickly though because all I wanted to do was chart and poas and check the boards and sometimes I would just sit and stare at my chart - as if it was going to tell me something more. It really did get silly! My first pregnancy was overwhelming and short lived - I had a chemical. The second pregnancy was at 38 and thankfully I was blessed with a somewhat healthy pregnancy. Now we've been ttc for 7 months and two losses later I'm just sad and overwhelmed and we're going to take a break. Some days I think I'm done and I'm happy with one and some days I think that I'll just give my body a little break and then try a third time and hope for good results.

I don't know if it would have made a big difference if I was in my 20's or 30's when I had my first child. There are some days I'm like damn then other days I wouldn't have it any other way. I know being the age that I am I feel more stable in life and feel that I can give her the life and attention that she deserves. I'm not going to lie - it's hard, but I think it would be challenging either way. Regardless, I'm still hoping we get a second and if time allows even a third! lol

I wish you luck in your journey! As long as you've found peace with ttc and the potential outcome of it all you know you're on the right path.
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Re: 40 or over, will I be a mum or not...

Postby Hope2015 » Mon Apr 20, 2015 4:52 pm

Southern Belle, thankyou for replying to my post. Your're right about being at peace with ttc and accepting my journey.
Im really sorry about your past losses and it takes courage to get up and keep trying, when so much emotion is at stake. I was very positive about trying IVF (excited, nervous, looking forward to a possible pregnancy) but after failed attempts I have stopped to get back to me... the person who was happy in our relationship, enjoying being a wife and most importantly grateful for meeting my husband and partner seven years ago.

I have been to counselling and a whole lot of past hurts coming up. I'm going to let my body and my mind just be. No more pushing for a little while.

Laughter and smiling is the best medicine :)
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Re: 40 or over, will I be a mum or not...

Postby FurbabyMomma » Tue Apr 21, 2015 8:08 am

Hi Hope. I am 43 soon to be 44 and have been activiely TTC since October. My BF and I have been together since 2013 but we have been friends for most of our lives. Unfortunately it took us until now to realize we wanted to be together and have a child together. We were NTNP since we have been together as a couple and so far no luck. I always wanted a child but never found the right person to want to have one with until BF. I had actually resigned myself to thinking I would never have one and I would be happy with my many nieces and nephews. Now that I found the ONE that I want to have a family with I find the TTC journey so very stressful. I know he has always wanted kids and he is a few years younger than me. Right now I cannot afford any medical procedures/treatment so I am trying to go the natural route. I am currently trying to lose weight as over the past year I have gained some weight. I am hoping that this along with natural supplements will help give our my dream. I have been pregnant in my 20s but lost it so I know at one point I was able to get pregnant. My fear is that I will never be able to get pregnant again and not be able to have my dream child(ren) with the love of my life that I so desparately want.

Now I am taking a small break to lose weight and get my body in a healthier state. During this time my BF and I are taking time to enjoy things that we have put aside - road trip in May, bike riding just to name a couple. It is important to remember how much we enjoy each other and not let the TTC journey take a toll on our relationship. I want to be able to bring a baby into a happy family which is what we have now with us and our furbabies.

The 40 & over women in the forums that have gotten their BFPs really do give me hope that one day I will get mine too. There has been wave of them lately. Your dream is only over when you stop believing in it. It is a hard road but you have the support of many amazing women on this forum that are taking the TTC journey along with you. Keep the faith and believe that you will get your BFP.

:grouphug: :babydustb: :babydustg:
Me (Vee): 44
DH: 35
NTNP since June 2013
Actively TTC #1 since October 2014

Two Furbabies: Peppa (Pitbull) and Gidget (Kitty)

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