I'm new to this group - I just started reaching out for support. I'm not sure if this is the right group to post to, so feel free to redirect me if it's not. I'm near the end of my 2WW and 41.5 yrs, so I guess I fit in regardless.
I'll try to make this as brief as possible (I promise my following posts won't be this long) - I was lucky enough to get pregnant by surprise on my first cycle off of BC back in April. I had a missed miscarriage at what I thought was 10.5 weeks (heart stopped around 8 weeks). I had a D&C the following week. My BF and I were devastated, and decided to try again after my first normal cycle. He's 40.5 yrs.
I feel a little crappy sharing some of this knowing that so many of you have been trying for months and even years - I'm on my 3rd cycle following my first normal period, which took 7 weeks after the D&C.
I truly knew zilch about the difficulties for women TTC over 40 . . . until I made the mistake of reading everything I could on the Internet in the last month. I also made the mistake of going to see one of the doctors at my OB's office who I thought would offer support - I have been having ovulation pain and breast soreness and huge emotional highs and lows - all of which I never experienced before I got pregnant. He literally said "if you're over 40, I won't waste your time or mine - go get IVF now before it's too late". I think I mostly blanked out for the next 10 mins (the max time he'd spend with me). Then spent the rest of yesterday and this morning crying. I am now officially scared out of my mind that I will never conceive again. I guess that's how scaremongering works - and why the number of women over 40 now exceeds the number of girls under 18 having terminations - they (we) don't think we can conceive, so many stop using BC.
All that to basically ask for any stories of encouragement, or any thoughts on the real data about women over 40 TTC -
I did read a couple of encouraging articles that I'll post when I track them down again . . . one data point was that the average age of a woman having her last child in the 20's was 42. The other was that women over 40 TTC naturally have not been studied - at all. All data on 40+ is from IVF results - which appear pretty dismal.
So - a few questions - how long do you think I should wait before asking for fertility help? Would I likely have more luck just continuing to try naturally? Any words of encouragement on the possibility of conceiving naturally again (I was told that every 6 mths that goes by after 40 is a significant decline in fertility) - is that true? Anything you can share to get me out of this mental rut would be helpful.
And push me off to another forum if I'm in the wrong place.
Peace & Love to all of you.