Need someone to talk to

TTC in our fabulous forties!

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Need someone to talk to

Postby Lovemyjs » Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:58 pm

Hubby and I decided to TTC after an eleven year break. (We adopted after IVF ended in miscarriage.) We are on our first cycle of an unmonitored Femara cycle, and I am waiting to ovulate. I am CD 12. TMI, but hubby and I have been married for over 20 years and haven't been very active in the bedroom for a while now. Now that we are back to trying, he is having performance issues. It happened (or didn't happen) once before TTC, so I don't think it is the pressure of TTC. We are guessing it is medication related, and that we should talk to his doctor. But I am super bummed. I feel bad for him. I feel bad for us. And I feel very alone, because this isn't something that I can talk to my friends about, given that most of my close friends are his cousins. Ugh.
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Re: Need someone to talk to

Postby stefanifeda » Fri Dec 08, 2017 1:07 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm so glad you decided to adopt. That's such a blessing.

I have a friend who came to me with similar issues. Her husband has fertility issues related to diabetes. The related treatmemts and meds have reduced libido also.

The only advice I can offer is to make an attempt to spice things up for both of you. It doesn't always help because med side effects are tricky, but it does work sometimes and did for my friend.

I encouraged her (and went with her) to go pick out some sexy outfits she thought he'd like and that made her feel confident.

Sometimes men have a hard time expressing their desires because they're embarressed or think you won't want to try new things. She ordered a card game that has different fantasies on them that you can choose from a deck (either at random or choosing together.) That makes it a bit more comfortable to express what you like because it's like a game.

Maybe try introducing some fun toys as well?

I wish you the best of luck!!
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Re: Need someone to talk to

Postby Lovemyjs » Fri Dec 08, 2017 2:25 pm

Thanks for your suggestions and for the well wishes!
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