Need someone to talk to

TTC in our fabulous forties!

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Need someone to talk to

Postby Lovemyjs » Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:58 pm

Hubby and I decided to TTC after an eleven year break. (We adopted after IVF ended in miscarriage.) We are on our first cycle of an unmonitored Femara cycle, and I am waiting to ovulate. I am CD 12. TMI, but hubby and I have been married for over 20 years and haven't been very active in the bedroom for a while now. Now that we are back to trying, he is having performance issues. It happened (or didn't happen) once before TTC, so I don't think it is the pressure of TTC. We are guessing it is medication related, and that we should talk to his doctor. But I am super bummed. I feel bad for him. I feel bad for us. And I feel very alone, because this isn't something that I can talk to my friends about, given that most of my close friends are his cousins. Ugh.
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Re: Need someone to talk to

Postby stefanifeda » Fri Dec 08, 2017 1:07 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm so glad you decided to adopt. That's such a blessing.

I have a friend who came to me with similar issues. Her husband has fertility issues related to diabetes. The related treatmemts and meds have reduced libido also.

The only advice I can offer is to make an attempt to spice things up for both of you. It doesn't always help because med side effects are tricky, but it does work sometimes and did for my friend.

I encouraged her (and went with her) to go pick out some sexy outfits she thought he'd like and that made her feel confident.

Sometimes men have a hard time expressing their desires because they're embarressed or think you won't want to try new things. She ordered a card game that has different fantasies on them that you can choose from a deck (either at random or choosing together.) That makes it a bit more comfortable to express what you like because it's like a game.

Maybe try introducing some fun toys as well?

I wish you the best of luck!!
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Re: Need someone to talk to

Postby Lovemyjs » Fri Dec 08, 2017 2:25 pm

Thanks for your suggestions and for the well wishes!
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Re: Need someone to talk to

Postby BeccaChloe » Wed Aug 08, 2018 10:37 am

I know... This is frustrating. And it is a long infertility journey. And its a very long road... I can sense your disappointment as I have been on this journey for 9 years. And it was only disappointment during these years. The IVF cycles failed as well. So I had to move to surrogacy as my last option. IF you are super doubtful then I suggest you go for an initial consultation meeting with a clinic. Or if you are a resident of the UK then there is an opportunity for you to attend. The clinic I am going to is coming to London next month. Biotexcom. Don't worry, the session will be given free. So you can pay a visit, you will get to know your chances of conception naturally. Hope this has helped.
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Re: Need someone to talk to

Postby @whenmytruerainbow » Tue Sep 18, 2018 7:00 am

I'm so sorry for what you're going through :hugs: It must hurt..you've mentioned you've tried ivf cycle earlier. and then adopted.. May I ask why didn't you give a try to another shot? It's a long break though, things change dramatically with every other year passed..I'm sorry but this is just fact we don't doubt. I'm 40 yrs old now. This is my stroy in brief. After years of ttc with no luck we began to seek help from the fertility expert. Past testings and soon discovered I had endo & pcos. We tried 2 fresh ivf cycles with oe. Tried doing lapos twice. This brought us no actual result. Our new dr strongly recommended looking onto donor egg. It took us one shot to conceive. The clinic guaranteed at least 3 A grade embies for the ET, so one of my strong beans survived. I'm currently in the 1st trimester. That's great you don't lose hope and continue natural trying. and I do hope you're not wasting time and soon achieve your aim. But in case you need any info on ivf, more affordable, or other tips, feel free to inbox me. Wishing you the best of luck.
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Re: Need someone to talk to

Postby Xenia » Mon Dec 17, 2018 6:09 am

Honey, don't feel bad about it. These things are super common. It's totally fine, especially given the age. We're here to help. Your best shot is at consulting a doctor. Get the tests done. Make him feel comfortable. There's no need to worry. Like, I said, it's more than common for this stuff to happen. I hope your luck works out. Sending you lots of love. Keep the faith, okay? It's really important to keep hoping. Good luck to both of you. My prayers are with you. Hopefully, you guys get a BFP, really soon!
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Re: Need someone to talk to

Postby hannahdavid » Mon Dec 17, 2018 11:16 am

I can understand that this must be very hard. However, stay strong and be positive. It's good that you decided to take a break. It is important for your own sanity. I would say that visit a good doctor for your treatment. Make sure to talk to them about your husband's issue as well. It's important to get that sorted before any treatment. I would say that he should take some medications for this issue. However, it's better to get a professional advice on this. Good luck to you. I hope things go well in your case. I from my own experience can say that a good doctor can change a lot of things for one. Its mainly because they are professionals and know how to carry things out. My treatments are really going well because of this. Sending baby dust your way.
-Low AMH and High FSH
-Poor Ovarian Reserve
-5 IUIs (failed)
-1 IVF (failed)
Life is a total mess
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