Really upset about age: 36

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Really upset about age: 36

Postby Hottie » Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:57 am

Okay. I am really needing some encouragement from you bfp gals because right now I feel like I could cry. Im really scared that I may never get the chance to be a mom. My age Stresses me out the more i think about it. I'm 36 years old with No prior pregnancies. My bf has been patient up to this point with timed intercourse. But he is starting to not be so cool with the ' we've got to do it right now' sex. It's just not cool. I told him after this month of medication clomid and ovidrel I wanted to quit trying. This would be the fourth cycle of clomid and ovidrel. Two of which we missed our window for timed intercourse. But now that it hasnt happened I'm thinking I want to do another round of meds. But, he says 'I thought you werent gonna do this to yourself'? At what point do I say enough is enough. Maybe God didn't want me to be a mom! Bc this is so stressful and I feel hurting my sex life. Make it fun? How? It's not fun. I want a baby so I can then have sex when I feel like having sex. This is awful. I've been not trying, not using protection for 2 years and actively trying with fertility meds for 4 months. This is just ridiculous! I can't take the emotional roller coaster.
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Postby Ravyndancer » Tue Mar 13, 2012 11:28 am

Hello :)

I hear your frustration. TTC is tricky enough, then you add in the ticking biological clock and trying to time BD'ing perfectly... it actually causes extra stress!

I know EXACTLY what you mean about 1) age and 2) sex on demand.

I TRIED to tell my BF that NOW is the perfect time to BD and if it happened when we were not getting along or he was not in the mood or he was tired... it didn't happen, and I'd blame him. He said to me, "Creating a life shouldn't have to be a science experiment.'

On the one hand, I AGREE, but on the other hand, we're not super-fertile young 20-somethings either!

So this has been my approach, and maybe it might work for you. Because we had been fighting so much (not just TTC issues, but totally impacted by TTC stress) I decided to work on myself and how I treat my BF. I have been extra loving, sweet, doing nice little things, cooking his favourite foods, not picking fights and in return he has become soooooo loving and affectionate and patient.

Instead of telling him when I'm about to be fertile, I don't say anything. I just start putting the moves on him and basically seduce him. It worked!

When you're fertile, just indulge in feeling beautiful and sexy. Tease him. Seduce him.... then BD'ing will become fun again :mrgreen:
Me: 39 multinodular goitre, completed 3 cycles of heavy metal detox, HSG Sept 20/12 - R tube open, L was slightly blocked, cleared during procedure, exploratory lap Feb 25/13 found mild endo (2 spots) removed and tubes flushed.
DH: 40 (healthy SA!)
TTC #1 since June 2011
Clomid cycle #1 100 mg CD3-7 April 2013 = BFN
Clomid cycle #2 100 mg CD3-7 May 2013 = didn't BD during fertile window = BFN
June 2013 - 2 years TTC. I give up. No more Clomid, no more temping, no more OPKs. Distraught :(
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Postby TTCnumber2at42 » Tue Apr 03, 2012 4:48 am

Don't be concerned about your age. My DH TTC for 6 years and I finally got pregnant at 39 years old. Now I am 41 1/2 and I am TTC # 2.

It can be done Halifax and Fittblonde are 2 members who are my inspiration of over 40 and getting pregnant.
Me 42 in September 2012 ~DH 35 in June 2012 ~DS 2 in July 2012
Angel #1 March 2008 6 weeks 6 days
Angel # 2 May 2011 6 weeks 2 days
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Postby luckyladybug » Wed Apr 04, 2012 6:13 pm

Hottie- I totally understand- I am 35 and stress out about my age and ttc my first. I looked at statistics at this age and the next couple and it stresse me more. I've been ttc since last June- and I am going on cycle #12 soon. Did you do testing at all? Do you have a diagnosis?

I actually just found this recently that gives percentages of success:

http://www.advancedfertility.com/iui-success-rates.htm

Baby dust to you!
Me (35) DH (34)
TTC #1 for 13 cycles
Iui #1/ Clomid and ovidrel: May 2012: bfp
Beta #1: 564 (16 dpo)
Beta #2: 1790 (19 dpo)
:hb: 121 at 6 weeks

My chart:
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/36c79a

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Thanks!

Postby Hottie » Wed Apr 04, 2012 6:36 pm

Thanks for the posts. Ya, the statistics are real shabby. Sucks actually. I have been trying to explain this to my bf for several years now. I think he finally understands that this may not be easy to get preggo. I don't have any diagnosis yet. His SA was awesome thank god. I've had a hsg and a ton of bloodwork to check hormones r/t endocrine system. All is good. Or not so good bc it's unexplained. Next month I get lap surgery if I'm not preggo. It's the only thing left to do. re wanted to do this first but I wouldn't agree. I wanted to try meds!
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Postby TTCnumber2at42 » Thu Apr 05, 2012 3:57 am

Unexplained fertility is thw worst ... that was the diagnoses DH and I had .. it still leaves everything up in the air. At least if the RE said it was blocked tubes then we had a course of action to rectify it.

Try not to get discouraged!
Me 42 in September 2012 ~DH 35 in June 2012 ~DS 2 in July 2012
Angel #1 March 2008 6 weeks 6 days
Angel # 2 May 2011 6 weeks 2 days
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Thanks

Postby Hottie » Thu Apr 05, 2012 6:13 am

Thanks ttc! I'm trying so hard to stay positive about this whole experience. After, reading statistics it's a miracle that there are any humans on earth. Haha! It appears once you have three or more iui's your chances go down. So if it's gonna happen thru Iui it happens in the first three tries.
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Postby TTCnumber2at42 » Fri Apr 06, 2012 4:01 am

Hottie just remember there are alternatives to IUI so this isn't your LAST chance at becoming pregnant. Keeping postitive also keeps the stress away.
Me 42 in September 2012 ~DH 35 in June 2012 ~DS 2 in July 2012
Angel #1 March 2008 6 weeks 6 days
Angel # 2 May 2011 6 weeks 2 days
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Postby Betz » Mon May 07, 2012 1:41 pm

I'm BFP on cycle #2 and I'm 34, so only TWO years younger. My mother had me at 39! I had my cycles totally wrong the first cycle, and missed the window big time, but temped and used many opk sticks this time and at hubs' request, we HAD TO make it romantic. I would say, if you can predict your cycles, plan for it, and make sure you go on a date or seduce your bf when the time is perfect. We went on a date the time it counted and I'm BFP!
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Thanks!!!

Postby Hottie » Mon May 07, 2012 4:24 pm

Thanks so much for the encouraging words! Betz did you or your mom end up having to do fertility treatments? My mom had me when she was 21. But she told me that she had to use clomid to get pregnant. She said that she had 2 miscarriages before getting pregnant the first time. Today i started on a gluten free diet. I know it's stupid but, celiac disease and some of the Other immune disorders is the only thing I have not been tested for. Also, I started taking a baby aspirin. I figured I'd try the old natural route since Iui and fertility meds are not working. I ovulate and bd at the right time but nothing is happening. Everything looks beautiful on paper, ultrasound, surgery . challenge worked. But no pregnancy!
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Postby Betz » Mon May 07, 2012 4:35 pm

I asked my mother the other day and she never had any problem conceiving. She did have one m/c though, but three healthy babies! I think the age thing isn't a biggie, but sounds like you have genetic reasons to be having trouble.

My stepmother-in-law has celiac disease and was near death before they discovered it. If she eats a crumb of gluten she'll be in the hospital. I think you probably don't have that or you'd be in much worse shape than you are in.

Has your BF's fertility been tested? Maybe it's not you?? Maybe it's stress?? I mean stress is the most harmful thing for your body and mind. If you're stressing out, then your body is going to react negatively!

On another site I came across someone who was BFP after FOUR YEARS of actively trying! If I recall, she stopped using all the pills and treatments and BAM, she got a BFP.
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Postby Hottie » Mon May 07, 2012 4:49 pm

He has been tested. Once for a semen analysis and then a second time-mini semen analysis for iui! Ya, I'm not sure if age is the issue either. Otherwise the clomid would of helped! I'm not gonna do any treatments for awhile. I just need a break. It was starting to suck the life out of me. 3 dr visits a month! I hope I'm like her and get pregnant once I stop stressing!
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Postby nikkijames » Sun May 27, 2012 7:39 pm

I really wouldn't stress too much about age hon. Many, many women get pregnant after 35. It really becomes more tricky after 40. And the stress alone can cause infertility. The best thing you can do is make your overall, general health as best as it can be. Be at a healthy weight. Eat lots of whole foods, exercise moderately. Also, a little known fact is that having GOOD sex increases the chance of conception. So if you're going through the motions with timed intercourse that can decrease your chances. Female orgasm helps too ;). I had my daughter at 33, son at 34 and had my IUD out ONE month and just got a bfp at 35. I also agree that there could be issues other than age if conceiving is really difficult for you...
Melissa (35) DH (44)
Hunter, 9 Julianna, 8, Harley 2, Dylan James 1

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/253334
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Postby Jamster34 » Thu May 31, 2012 6:59 am

Hey just like all of the ladies on here , I too was in the same boat df and I ended up splitting up because of it and now we are engaged to be married July 20,2013 maybe the lord will grant us a honeymoon baby :-) But I'm def not giving up :-) Hang in there u have us !
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1e5ddb]My Ovulation Char
Me: Jamie 36 DF: Rodney 46
TTC # 1 Since 2005
6 m/c
Married Finally July 13,2013
Tking :CoQ10 ,Prenatal w/DHA, Royal Jelly, Soy, Baby Asprin
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