What would you do?

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What would you choose?

Put back the perfect 1
4
19%
Put back the latter 2
5
24%
Put back all 3
12
57%
 
Total votes : 21

What would you do?

Postby curteisye » Wed Mar 16, 2011 10:12 pm

I posted this yesterday, but apparently there was some server glitch and hours after posting, all of my posts were deleted :roll: so here is round 2....

So we went to our follow up appointment on Monday and it went really well. The RE was happy with my response and my embryo results and wants to move right along to the FET. She said since we didn't get pregnant with the 2 being put back, she wanted to put back all 3 frozen eggies. DH and I had a conversation about this the night before. Although the chances would be pretty slim, we are worried about me getting pregnant with triplets. After all, I spent month after month not getting even the hint of a pregnancy last time and then whamo - twins. We told the RE our concern and the fact that given our history we would be unable to do selective termination and we would prefer to put back 2 and save the last little embie for if this round didn't work. Now out of the embies that are frozen, 1 is AA, 1 is AB and 1 is BB. We would be putting the 2 latter back and saving the AA. Now that we have made that decision and signed all the papers, I have been second guessing myself. What would you do in my shoes? I should also note that the RE is planning to put me back on blood thinners like I was on the cycle I got pg with the twins.

JADE had commented in my original post that it might make a difference based on whether the eggs were going to have assisted hatching and how they were frozen.

They all had AH done on them. The AA was frozen by itself and the AB and BB were frozen together.
Carrie Me 37 DH 34 DS#1 7 ; DS#2&3 born 3/11/09. Lost DS#3 to SIDS 10/14/09 - I miss my angel every day. IVFx2, FETx2, still have 2 frozen
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Postby kanne » Thu Mar 17, 2011 12:12 am

Hi carrie! I just voted 3 because Karli was one of 3 blasts tranfered. I was 37 at the time. My recent FET was a transfer of 2 and as you know one took at least for a while, but I know if there would have been another one, my odds would have been better. I know you know the life as a mom of a multiple pregnancy and what you would be able to cope with. I knew time was running out for me due to my age, money was gone and so we needed to try to make it happen fast! With your AA frozen seperately though, it makes it convenient to NOT thaw that one and wait. Fingers crossed for you for whatever you choose!
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Postby curteisye » Thu Mar 17, 2011 1:56 am

Kari - I guess what I don't understand is why my odds would truly be better with 3. I just figured either they are good eggs and going to attach or they aren't. I fear having 3 not for taking care of them, I fear me being put on bedrest as the primary bread winner for the family, the babies being born so early they have to spend their first few months in the NICU, and heaven forbid that 1 or more should die. We have already lost one child. I couldn't bare losing another. Not to mention, I have had 2 cesareans and you hear horror stories of uterine rupture. But if 3 truly does increase my odds of 1 implanting then I have a hard time justifying NOT putting them back. This makes it an excruciating delima.
Carrie Me 37 DH 34 DS#1 7 ; DS#2&3 born 3/11/09. Lost DS#3 to SIDS 10/14/09 - I miss my angel every day. IVFx2, FETx2, still have 2 frozen
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Postby kez71 » Thu Mar 17, 2011 6:45 am

id put in the perfect one..because it should take being perfect! and just a singleton is almost guaranteed whereas putting in two could easily result in twins again..and 3 could be triplets, cute, but risky as you know.

its a dilemma..im sure you will choose well..if only we had a crystal ball to see into the future hey!!

good luck!! when do you have to decide by?
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Postby TTCinMD » Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:30 am

It is a hard choice, but I would put back the latter two, since they are frozen together. I answered the same when you put it in the poll yesterday. Triplets scare me to death.
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Postby nikki2246 » Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:40 am

That is a hard choice especially since we all know that just because they look perfect now doesn't mean that they really are. Did the dr estimate to you the chances of triplets???

Another thing you have to think about is that there is no guaranetee that the 2 will thaw in perfect condition so all this worry may be for nothing. If 1 didn't make it then they would defrost the last one...

Given all the circumstances with your job and previous c sections just have them transfer 2. Hopefully one or both will take.

I was in a different situation when I did my FEY and gladly would have transfrered 3 but the dr would not allow me...I also have no children yet..so it is a lot to think about.
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Postby SFK » Thu Mar 17, 2011 11:59 am

Carrie-I voted for 2. I know we don't have the exact same situation, but I think twins would be emotional enough without the added risks that triplets bring. A lot of specialists put women pregnant with triplets on hospital bed-rest starting at 28-30 weeks. Only you and DH know your path and what will be right for you. I'm cheering you on the whole way!

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Postby curteisye » Fri Mar 18, 2011 4:04 am

Thank you for your responses and input. We have until the FET to decide pretty much. They will thaw the 3rd if one doesn't survive the thaw. For some reason that part doesn't concern me.

Sarah - I was put on bedrest with the twins at 24 weeks. Mainly because my doc talked to me about the statistical survival rate of twins born at 24 weeks versus 28 weeks and the drastic drop in complications at that point too. When I got to 28 weeks she was going to let me go back to work on light duty, but when they checked my cervix it was shortening so I ended up on bedrest for the duration of the pregnancy.
Carrie Me 37 DH 34 DS#1 7 ; DS#2&3 born 3/11/09. Lost DS#3 to SIDS 10/14/09 - I miss my angel every day. IVFx2, FETx2, still have 2 frozen
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Postby lovlya » Fri Mar 18, 2011 10:46 am

I say 2....for sure!
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Postby twinklebug » Thu Mar 24, 2011 4:45 pm

I voted to put back the perfect one. This is a really tough decision, and I think everyone's answers are different because everyone answers based on their own experience/perspective. As you know, it is really tough being pregnant with twins (even if the pregnancy is uneventful its super tough on your body), and raising twins is a constant challenge too. I love my twins more than anything, but sometimes I do wish that I had a chance to bond with one baby at a time. When DH and I do our FET for baby #3, we will be putting back one 6 day embie. Good luck with your decision and your cycle ! :)
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Postby worleygrl » Fri Mar 25, 2011 7:19 am

As a fellow twin mama I say one at a time, Carrie. Given all the risks I say it is better to go it slow. They say that FET often has a BETTER result than fresh in part because the mother's body is allowed to rest after stims, so I wouldn't even sweat it if the perfect one doesn't take. Having seen what twin-ship does to the attention we can('t) lavish on our girls and the risks involved I wish I could have given them different birthdays.
Carrie 35 & DH 35, DS 3yo (3rd IUI was the charm that time around!) now TTC#2 - 4 failed IUIs on injectibles this year - 1st IVF ER 11/27, 3dt 11/30, BFP! Beta 187 on 12/12, 1182 on 12/18, 12/24 u/s shows TWINS! 5/14- We're having TWO GIRLS!!! August 7th, 2009 - Molly (6lb.12oz.) and Zoe (6lb.15oz.) are born at 38.5 weeks!
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Postby kanne » Fri Mar 25, 2011 10:42 pm

All some really great food for thought Carrie. I think it may be different when in your 20's or even early 30's. When you start lookin' at 40, you feel the pressure of time and you begin to feel you can't afford to wait. My RE told me the quality of eggs takes a sudden large dip at 35 and just continues to fall from there (yes, always fun to hear huh?) So, I can totally respect and understand the young ladies who have a decade+ to try for another baby. For me, I knew I had a mere few years to make it happen. At the age of 38, even good looking embryos/blasts can have chromosomal defects and I was hoping 1 of the 3 were ok...which turns out was. I also had multiple miscarriages, so I know my eggs were getting a little funky :? I also think if fertility is something that is covered by insurance you look at it differently. My recent FET cost about 5K. I could not afford to do that 3 times, especially after paying 30K for my fresh cycle. Have you looked into the odds of transferring 3 at your age and having them ALL take? My RE's stats for that were into the singletons for MOST ladies at 35+ with transferring 2 or 3. It would be interesting to research your office's results on that. I only had singletons and was on bedrest throughout my pregnancy and put in the hospital for premature labor....all the joys of being an Advanced Maternal Age mommy. :mrgreen: In fact MANY of these twin mamas grew their babies longer than I did! Another reason I didn't want to be a 45 yo trying to carry a baby to term. Whew. Lots to think of Carrie and I don't envy you. It's funny for me, there wasn't a second thought about the 3. Listen to your heart and gut feeling. Good luck friend!!
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