Moving on to egg donor?

Is in vitro fertilization helping you achieve your dream of parenthood? Discuss IVF, FET, donor egg and surrogacy here!

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Moving on to egg donor?

Postby ZaiserMama » Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:49 pm

Hi there...4 years ago I joined this site on the regular TTC forums...I am officially the last one standing (without a child) of a solid core group of 12. Some have already had their second child! Here I am, now on the IVF boards....after a fresh cycle that ended in a bio-chemical pregnancy and a failed FET. The doctor has now recommended that we consider egg donor, as my FSH is on the high side and I am almost 37 - he actually gives me a 10-15% success rate with my own eggs. I have so many emotions surrounding this, and it seems so complicated - attorney's, etc....anybody willing to share their emotional journey with me and where they are in the process? I never, in a million years, thought that I would be told that my chances of having a biological child were slim to none.
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Re: Moving on to egg donor?

Postby nikki2246 » Mon Dec 10, 2012 8:14 am

Hi-

I'm sorry that you have had such a hard time. It seems frusrating and unfair that we have to go through these things. Long long story short I had 2 cycles with my own eggs and 2 m/c's. We then moved on to donor eggs because we knew my egg quailty was poor based on response and the m/c. We matched with a great donor through our RE at the time. Fresh cycle which was text book perfect failed but luckily we had frozen embryo's. We switched dr's and I got pregnant with the FET. Originally was pregnant with twins and lost one at 10 weeks. My daughter is 13 months old and the BEST thing that ever happend. I don't think I had a traditional outlook on donor eggs as I never was sad or upset that my child would not be linked genetically to me. We explored every avenue and I wanted to experience being pregnant. I think of the donor who has provided a service to me -a huge wonderful service but I am my daughters mother. It is a very overwhelming process and very scary because you are counting on someone else for the first half of the cycle. Please feel free to ask anything that you want. There are a few other woman on the boards who have been through this as well and we are always ready to share .
IVF #1 Jan 2009 BFP ends in Missed MC @10 weeks
IVF #2 March 2010 BFP-early MC

On to DE Aug 2010
DER 8/17 26 eggs
transf 2 blasts (5day)
BFN-
6 snowbabies

FET Jan 2011
Tranfser 1/25/11
BFP

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Re: Moving on to egg donor?

Postby ZaiserMama » Wed Dec 12, 2012 9:11 am

Thank you so much for responding! I was beginning to wonder if anyone would....this site seems to have changed a bit in the last 4 years! :) I would love to touch base with you about my process. Thank you for the support. I am struggling between a known donor (my best friend) and an anonymous. When the price difference can be upwards of $10k, it is always on the table. We are waiting for my friend to induce and start her period so we can do day 3 testing, then that will tell us if she is even a good candidate. I finally had the courage to get on the egg donor site. At first it was intimidating, then a little fun - then I started to feel kind of shallow "She has a big forehead, her hips are too wide, her smile is weird, she looks nothing like me".....I had to get off with the promise that I would return with a more humble heart. We are months out - the donor choice, the psych sessions, attorney paperwork...and I am still processing the whole SMACK of it all. I hope you know how much your support will mean!!

Blessings~
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Re: Moving on to egg donor?

Postby wannabmummy » Wed Dec 12, 2012 10:49 am

IM seriously looking at egg donor. I am having appointment with RE on Monday but I am pretty sure this is the rte I am going to go. Would love to chat and follow you on your journey. This is such an emotional thing and I have no one in real life I can talk too. DH is very supportive but sometimes I believe he doesn't understand how I feel.
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Re: Moving on to egg donor?

Postby nikki2246 » Thu Dec 13, 2012 10:55 am

Zaiser-it is amazing that you have someone who is so close to you that would want to give you such a gift for me though I don't think I would have accepted it. I think that may have made things a little too close for comfort for me. Again, that is so selfless and clearly your friend cares deeply about you. We used an anonymous donor -she was pre screened by our RE and was a proven donor with them. We chose her based on her ethnicity mostly-I was happy with her background and her family history as it was close enough to ours. I never knew what she looked like as an adult only as a child. She was and is local to my area so the dr does not allow current photo's. It is so hard to look at things objectivly when choosing. I will tell you that my daughter looks exactly like my husband but she has blond hair and blue eyes. Everyone asks where they come from meanwhile my sis in law has blond hair, my nephews have light eyes and so does my dad and grandparents. hahaha ...we just laugh. When you are pergnant and delivering this baby you will rarely think about where he or she started. You will focus on what an amazing journey you have been on and the beautiful child that you (YOU) gave life to and will raise. At least that is how I feel....please feel free to pm me or email me at trixie2246@aol.com if you want to take this offline...
IVF #1 Jan 2009 BFP ends in Missed MC @10 weeks
IVF #2 March 2010 BFP-early MC

On to DE Aug 2010
DER 8/17 26 eggs
transf 2 blasts (5day)
BFN-
6 snowbabies

FET Jan 2011
Tranfser 1/25/11
BFP

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Re: Moving on to egg donor?

Postby squirreltooth » Thu Dec 13, 2012 12:25 pm

Hi, I'd be happy to join you. This is the first time I've ever posted on any website. Been trying to conceive for 18 months and just today my boyfreind and I had our appointment to be added to the waiting list for donated eggs. I too have mixed feelings... I definitely want to go down this route but had a bit of a wobble signing the consent forms when it struck me that biologically my partner is having a child with another woman.....
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Re: Moving on to egg donor?

Postby missysgonnadoit » Thu Dec 13, 2012 5:06 pm

I used an egg donor. Direct message me if you want more details. I loved it.
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Re: Moving on to egg donor?

Postby squirreltooth » Sat Dec 15, 2012 9:31 am

Hi Missy, Thanks would be great to get more info and hear about your experience. New here so don't know how to direct message you?
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Re: Moving on to egg donor?

Postby jodi1229 » Wed Dec 26, 2012 3:58 pm

I too used donor eggs. I went through 3 IVF cycles with my own eggs. We decided to find another RE. We interviewed a couple of RE's and they all told me I had less than 3% chance of conceiving if using my own eggs. I was told we could use donor eggs or adopt if we ever wanted to have children. I was devastated, the thought of having a child that would not biologically be mine was horrible. For about 2 weeks I didn't even want to consider the donor route because I didn't want my child to be half my DH and half some stranger. Although, it all boiled down to the fact that I wanted to experience it all. I wanted to be pregnant and have that bond with my child. We found an anonymous donor through my RE. I agree with Nikki that it is a little stressful because you have to put so much faith in someone else to make sure they are doing what they are supposed in the beginning of the cycle. My donor was 21 at the time, and they retrieved 41 eggs from her. By the time I had the transfer there were 23 left. We transferred 2 and 21 were frozen. I ended up pregnant with twins. We did lose one at 7 weeks. At 22 weeks we lost the other (she was born perfect, turns out I had some other issues). We waited 3 months and went through a FET. We transferred 1 this time due to my cervical issues and I am currently 13 1/2 weeks pregnant. Never once have I felt that any of these babies aren't 100% mine. When you can feel your baby moving around inside of you, you can't help but know that it is yours. I would be happy to answer any questions you have. I know it might not be for everyone, and definitely can be a tough decision to make. I just wouldn't change my decision for the world
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Re: Moving on to egg donor?

Postby squirreltooth » Sat Feb 09, 2013 7:41 am

Hi, We have a donor and I'm going for my Gonapeptyl injection on the 14th Feb. Scared and excited and worried how i'll deal with it if it doesn't work. Wannabmummy? how did you go on?
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Re: Moving on to egg donor?

Postby JADE0199 » Mon Feb 11, 2013 7:46 am

Hi ladies!

I just want to wish you all tons of good luck and babydust with your donor egg cycles. I am proof that they really do work! Now a mom of 5 under 5 via donor egg. Identical twin boys 4.5yo, singleton daughter 2+yo and fraternal g/b twins 6months. Its ALOT of work, but so so so worth it!!

Please feel free to ask me any questions, or if you just want to chat. I am here

Cathy
Cathy 43~DH 41. Started trying for #1 9/05
m/c 12/05 ID twins
m/c 6/06
Chem pg 9/06
m/c 2/26/07
IVF#1 5/07-BFN
IVF#2 w/DE-busted
IVF#3 repeat DE cycle. Tx 2 blasts. BFP 2/18 Triplets! Lost Singleton at 8.5w. ID Twin boys born 9/25/08
FET#1 9/09-chem
FET#2 11/4-BFN
IVF#4 w/DE Feb. Tx 2 blasts
BFP on 3/6! 6w4d - a singleton. 14w5d - It's a GIRL! DD born on 11/3/2010
FET#3 Nov 16. Tx 2 blasts. b/g twins born 7/25/12
FET #4 BFP! One baby! Due 5/14/14
4 snowbabies


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Re: Moving on to egg donor?

Postby Val38 » Mon Feb 11, 2013 11:21 am

No body wants to think their body can't do what we as women believe is natural. I know early on in life that if I wanted to have a baby, I would have to use a donor. I used donor eggs and using them again for my upcoming cycle. It is the route I have to take to become pregnant. My donor gave me a gift.....and although I can't forget it.....My son is 100% mine. He lived in me for 37 1/2 weeks. I see it as getting blood.....except with a fee$$$$$. If your goal is to be a mom and become pregnant that go with it!
IVF #1 12/2007=BFN
FET #1 2/2008= BFP Boy!!!
FET#2 2/2012= BFP Slow rising Beta(Methotrexate shot)
IVF #2 Finished BCP on 1/26 Had baseline and ultrasound 1/29 started Estradial and baby asprin 1/30.
4/1/13- transfer 1 blast 4BB
4/10/13- Beta #1 27 (not again)
4/12/13- Beta #2 18 (devastated)
FET # 3 lining and E2 are all ready for transfer. Starting PIO injections, medrol, doxy and prometrium on 5/11/13.
5/16/13- Transferred 2 Blast
5/21/13- Faint BFP at 5dpt and getting darker at everyday up until beta
5/27/13- 1st beta 434 @ 11dpt6dt
5/29/13 2nd beta 1083 @13dpt 6dt
6/7/13 1st scan...HR 104 one little bean!!! 3rd beta 17,322
6/17/13 2nd scan....HR 168!!

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Re: Moving on to egg donor?

Postby GennaTTC » Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:01 pm

Hi, and sorry you feel so deflated. All of my friends have passed me here and all have kids. I'm the lone one too from 2.5 years ago, so I can relate. That being said, my one piece of advice (and not to discount using donor eggs, because they are a wonderful option for many couples), but have you thought about changing clinics? I only say that because I did 3 cycles with my RE and after 2 failed cycles I was diagnosed with a chrosomsome issue. My doctor quickly said I needed donor eggs or I can cycle by doing pgd and be lucky to get a normal embryo. We chose to do 3 day pgd and got 1 normal one. We transferred and it ended as a chemical. I was crushed. So I did more research. I ended up cycling in January with the best doctor in the state (Illinois) and did a day 5 pgd and got back 4 chromosomally normal embryos!!!! I feel like had I not gone to this doctor I would have given up. I was only given a 20% chance for normals from my pgd lab, which equated to 1.2 normals. And I ended up with 4. My doctor said that egg quality yes is a factor for women, but more than that is lab quality. My embryos are of better quality with this new lab than the last one. I guess my point is, you may be able to use your eggs, and choose the pgd route. You said you are almost 37 which your chances for chromosomally abnormal embryos is a lot greater than when you were in your 20's. And no embryologist can tell what's normal by just looking at them. Half the time the best looking embryos have problems...trisomies, monosomies, downs...So its just a thought. That being said, I 100% support donor eggs. One of our best friend's used donor eggs after struggling with stage 4 endo and DOR. She transferred 2, they took home 2. Best of luck!
Me:35 (Genna) DH:41
Me: thin PCOS, homo MTHFR, balanced translocation 5;10 DH: normal
- No kids/TTC 2.5 years
- 5 losses: clomid/IVF/IVF+PGD, 1 natural loss November 2012
- Last IVF #4 with PGS January 2013: 4 chromosomally normal embryos-3 girls/1 boy
- FET 4/11
- Beta #1 9dp5dt: 209! I'm Pregnant OMG!!!!
- Beta #2 12dp5dt: 657! 42.97 hour doubling time!
- Beta #3 15dp5dt: 2311 39.68 hour doubling time!
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Re: Moving on to egg donor?

Postby jasminecolland002 » Thu Oct 15, 2015 8:33 pm

I have friends who had their child because of egg donation. I don't know much of the process but it was done abroad, so I am thinking if a foreign donated their eggs to you, your baby will inherit the genes of the donor right??? Correct me if I'm wrong but it's just like surrogacy the thing is you will be carrying the donated eggs am I right? My friends told me that they had it done in Greece and also the donor was provided by the center, so if that will be the process therefore you cannot choose the donated eggs. I just had a chat to one of my friend and send me this link of a center in Greece for egg donation procedure > http://www.placidway.com/profile/1489/I ... ion-Agency even though they had it done successfully, I want to choose the donor if i have to undergo on such procedure. So I am thinking if this is possible on other center.
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