Telling your boss about IVF

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Telling your boss about IVF

Postby Honeybeee » Fri Mar 04, 2016 2:52 am

Hi Ladies,

I wonder if I could ask for your opinions/experiences around working during IVF.

My quick background - just had a first consultant appointment, at which they confirmed (as much as they can) suspected endometriosis with cysts on ovaries, and low egg reserve. I've been referred for long-protocol IVF with three months of down-regulation first to deal with the endo.

(emotional state - still incredibly raw from this news, not sure it's sunk in yet)

My question is around work. So far I have told my bosses that I have a minor medical condition which has explained the few appointments I've needed so far. I'm wondering whether to actually tell them now what it is for. The reasoning for this is that I work in quite a high-pressure environment, and because of previous mood swings associated with PMS, I'm concerned that I might react badly to the temporary menopausal effects of the down-regulation. My man thinks that if they know what's going on, they may be more understanding.

The reasoning against telling them is the out-dated idea that they might be concerned that I'm planning something that will take me away from my post. I'm in the UK and have amazing maternity leave, but I'm the only person in my role, which means an inevitable shake-up if I were to be off. Which let's face it would be at least 12 months from now (3mths GnRH before IVF).

Also, it's all so incredibly personal that I have difficulty speaking about any of it with friends and family let alone my bosses.

So, long way of asking - what has your approach been? Have you been open with your workplace about your IVF? I'm lucky that I can work flexibly around appointments and realize that maybe some of you haven't had that choice. If you have told your workplace, what has your experience been?

Thank you so much for reading
xxx
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Re: Telling your boss about IVF

Postby Danaa » Fri Mar 04, 2016 11:23 am

I think it depends on you and how open ur about all of this,if they really have to know then you should tell them but if they don't and ivf won't interfere with ur work an you rather them not knowing then don't tell them.I don't work so I can't offer any personal experience but I can say im open about my infertility and i don't have any problems speaking about this whole process so I think i would have let my bosses know.
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Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a loss around 5 weeks
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
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Re: Telling your boss about IVF

Postby Honeybeee » Sat Mar 05, 2016 3:48 am

Thanks danaa I think you've identified the issue for me, as I'm not that close to my managers and it feels a little too personal. I think I'll tell them if I have to, but I'm not ready just yet.
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Re: Telling your boss about IVF

Postby Danaa » Sat Mar 05, 2016 4:37 am

Your welcome I'm just trying to help out.Good luck on ur IVF process,I will be starting mine in summer.
Image
My Ovulation Chart
.
Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a loss around 5 weeks
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 ?
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Re: Telling your boss about IVF

Postby EvergreenGal » Sat Mar 05, 2016 7:39 am

I was self-employed during the start of my fertility treatments, but when I would need to occasionally pass on a project, I'd let my clients know that I was dealing with a non-life-threatening medical issue that required me to spend quite a bit of time at doctor's appointments and take medicine that made me feel weird, necessitating some adjustments to my previous 80 hours a week work schedule. I didn't feel the need to give them all the details, but wanted to still be somewhat honest without giving them cause to worry about me.
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Re: Telling your boss about IVF

Postby Honeybeee » Sun Mar 06, 2016 2:22 am

Hi EvergreenGal, that's really helpful thanks. I already said about a minor medical condition so they know that I need to attend some appointments, but I like your guidance on what you said about the medication - that's the bit I'm most concerned about. If I don't deal too well with the side effects it would be useful for them to know. I think I might adopt your approach!

Danaa - best of luck with your IVF this summer
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Re: Telling your boss about IVF

Postby elbee » Wed Mar 30, 2016 10:11 pm

I think less is more when it comes to sharing with the boss unless you're absolutely certain they'd be understanding. You can share a lot without sharing specifics. Just say that you have some important and necessary medical appointments coming up and that you're okay but you need to follow through with your treatment plan. Also, three months of down reg with low reserve would concern me. I have low reserve and have trouble making quality eggs on extremely high stims on an antagonist or estrogen priming protocol without any down reg. I have had to regulate with bc but even on the lighest bc for less than a month I still have trouble producing quality eggs. I don't want to worry you and I'm certainly not a doctor but suppression and low reserve don't usually mix very well. I know it's for your endo but still... I hope you are the exception though, and wishing you the best!
Me-31 DH-30
DD - 6-11-12
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IVF #1 Jan '11-3 mature eggs, 1 fertilized w/ICSI but did not divide, 1 zygote transferred on day 3-BFN
IVF #2 March '11-8 eggs, 4 mature, 0 fertilized w/ICSI :cry:
IVF #3 July '11 cancelled-converted to IUI-BFN
IVF #4 Sep. '11-7 retrieved, 3 mature, all 3 fertilized with thawed TESE sperm.
Transferred 2 beautiful embryos on day 3 :) BFP :D Beta#1=256 (15dpo) Beta#2=568 (17dpo) Beta#3=1864 (20dpo)
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