First time IVF-er

Is in vitro fertilization helping you achieve your dream of parenthood? Discuss IVF, FET, donor egg and surrogacy here!

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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby @whenmytruerainbow » Fri Jun 15, 2018 2:51 am

Unconventional tale wrote:Hello everyone,

This post is a very hard and personal story but after reading many of the stories here it's given me alot of courage to share my own.

Let me start at the beginning. My husband and I were best friends before we were anything else from the age of 17. Over time my feelings for him began to change and I slowly started to fall in love with him. I'd like to say we got our happily ever after easily but it came with a lot of ups and downs and will they or won't they or is it a one sided love. Till eventually 9 years later we realised we both loved each other and he proposed. 10 months later we were married and it was one of the best days of my life where I thought we would have this story book marriage and all our dreams would be coming true.

My husband and I both decided to wait till marriage to be intimate with each other.I did get my period on the day of my wedding (I would blame it on the stress of planning a wedding) so I didn't get the magical wedding night that everyone talks about. Cut to our honeymoon where my period was over but realised my husband was very withdrawn and still wasn't interested in being intimate. After questioning him about it one day we did try but due to it being both of our first time we didn't do a very good job of it. Sadly that was the first and last time we tried.

We started therapy and my husband informed me that the reason he was unable to be intimate with me was because as a child he was sexually abused multiple times and therefore the idea of sex was very difficult for him.

I love my husband more than anything in the world and decided that this is an obstacle that we can overcome together. We have been married almost 5 years and unfortunately are still unable to be intimate with each other. The therapy has helped us in the sense that we have never loved each other more and are completely committed to each other and want to spend our lives together regardless of the fact that we could be in a sexless marriage for the rest of our lives.

Fast forward to the present where we have decided that we want to start a family together. After research online we looked at IUI. I visited my gynae who informed me that regardless if I was having sex or not my hymen would have to be surgically broken due to me having a septate hymen (basically 2 holes instead of one making it impossible to have sex - could explain why the first time trying to have sex didn't work).

So after surgically being unvirginized my husband and I went to the fertility clinic to discuss IUI and explaining our situation. We had to do some basic fertility tests to check if everything was ok since we had never technically tried to conceive before. The results came out that my husband has a 2% morphology problem and I had a low egg reserve and irregular ovulation or weak ovulation. We were told that our best option would be IVF or more specifically ICSI.

So here we are in the process of starting our first IVF cycle. We are both very nervous but extremely hopeful and trying to remain positive. We should be starting our cycle within the next few days.

Thank you for taking the time to hear my story. I wish you all the best of luck on your journey to your BFP and bundle of joy.

Ivf is usually performed in 4 steps. The clinic we've been to performs ivf this way.
1. Defining the date for initial consultation and sending the list of required documents:
Transvaginal ultrasound check results.
Breast ultrasound check results (if you’re younger than 50 and had never had any breast problems) or mamography results (if you’re over 50 or had any breast problems in the past).
Chest X-ray (for both you and your partner/dh).
Doctor’s certificate that you’re healthy enough to carry out a baby and that pregnancy is not prohibited for you.
Sperm count (if avaliable).
2. Initial consultation. You and your partner/dh come to the clinic to undergo the required tests:
Blood tests for both.
Pap smear.
Sperm count.
The doctor studies your medical records. She performs transvaginal ultrasound check and evaluates your chances to successfully accomplish the program. She makes the decision whether the program can be performed and authorize the program. Since that you’re allowed to sign the agreements and you can make the 1st payment. The doctor explains you the treatment plan. The clinic gives you medications needed for your subsequent stimulation protocol.
3. You’re following the treatment plan. You make the needed ultrasound checks according to the protocol of stimulation and synchronization. When the date of your 2nd visit is defined you need to come to Kiev for the embryo transfer. Here be ready to spend there up to 7-10 days.
4. After the embryo transfer is performed you will be given the protocol to follow and medications according to the protocol. Those meds are intended to increase the chances to achieve and successfully support pregnancy. In 2 weeks after embryo transfer you need to make the blood test for HCG level in your blood. You send the results to the clinic. Their obligations are considered to be fulfilled after the pregnancy reaches the term of 12 weeks (The safest barrier).Here are the lists of all required tests for a couple.
Analyses and examinations required for women:
Rw, HBs, HCV, HIV, syphilis (made no more than 6 months before that)
TORCH infections (rubella and toxoplasmosis)
Vaginal discharge analysis
Karyotype analysis (termless)
Blood group and Rhesus factor (termless)
Complete Blood Count (CBC) made no more than 1 month before that
Biochemical blood count (bilirubin, AST, ALT, kreatinin, complete protein)
Koagulogram
LH (luteinizing hormone)
FSH (follicle-stimulating hormone)
Vaginal and cervical canal swab (no more than 6 months before)
Microscopic examination of vaginal canal
Pelvic organs ultrasound
Breast ultrasound
Attending physician’s opinion
Anti-muller hormone test.
Analyses and examinations required for men
Rw (Wasserman test)
HBs
HCV
HIV (no more than 3 months before)
Blood group and Rhesus factor (termless)
Karyotype analysis (termless)
Spermogram (no more than 3 months)
ICSI screening.
Where are you now with your cycle? Hope things are going on well.
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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby martinajohn785 » Fri Jun 29, 2018 2:28 pm

Hey Dear! I just read your whole story. Really, it's so embarrassing. Seriously, it made me so emotional. But don't worry, such things make a man stronger. As you are trying in different ways. I hope you will be successful one day. Just be positive and stay strong. Everything will be fine.
My sympathies
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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby lindaswank » Fri Jun 29, 2018 2:43 pm

Hey. Hope so you are doing well. Your story is very heart drowning. I just pray that your story has a beautiful ending. No one can even imagine that how are you going through these troubles. But indeed these troubles make humans stronger. I really hope that this time your cycle will succeed. Don't lose and stay positive. If unfortunately, something does not go well in your favour then there is no need to worry at all. Science has a problem for every solution and remembers GOD has a better plan for his peoples. So keep believing and stay firm. Good things are coming to you very soon. Sending you positive vibes.
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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby @whenmytruerainbow » Wed Jul 25, 2018 2:47 am

Hi,Unconventional! It's been some time I haven't been to the board. Seems ladies got further with their treatments 8) Just wanted to ask you for some updates. Where are you passing ivf? Are you satisfied with docs and nurses? Did you actually start stimming? Hope this message finds you perfect.
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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby @whenmytruerainbow » Wed Jul 25, 2018 2:55 am

martinajohn785 wrote:Hey Dear! I just read your whole story. Really, it's so embarrassing. Seriously, it made me so emotional. But don't worry, such things make a man stronger. As you are trying in different ways. I hope you will be successful one day. Just be positive and stay strong. Everything will be fine.
My sympathies

Your story doesn't seem to be easy -eh? Could you share, please. I'm on the other side of the journey now. I'm in the 1st trimester with my de ivf baby#1 currently. But I didn't manage to fall apart from this emotional rollercoaster yet. So coming back from time to time and looking for some positive news from ladies who were the hell of support for me in the long run..It pains so much infertility impacts so many lovely people :doh: Once I happened to read ''Happy people are no longer on inferility boards''. This is not true. I'm a happy prego one, but I'm still here trying to support those sailing in this board. Just like me shortly ago. This is the life stage one cannot forget. I'm hoping your story has its happy end. Like thousands of others. Praying for all lovelies desperate for their little ones.
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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby Unconventional tale » Wed Jul 25, 2018 3:04 am

Hi dear, I wish I could say that my story has a happy ending but I'm not quite there yet. My husband came out to me about a month ago and told me he's gay. It's been an emotional roller coaster for sure. The bright side I've taken from it is that we both still want a family. For now we are processing everything and I am on antidepressants and anti anxiety to help me cope with the news. But getting stronger everyday. For now we have decided that in 3 months we will go down the ivf route again and hopefully get our miracle child. We will stay together for some time but eventually we will separate and coparent our child. It's a very unconventional story but that seems to be the life I'm supposed to live.
Unconventional tale
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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby @whenmytruerainbow » Wed Jul 25, 2018 3:52 am

Oh hun, I'm afarid I have no words of wisdom for you now. The thing I know for sure, you're a super brave one!! Another obstacle to overcome..I'm sorry. But at the same time I'm glad your dh didn't leave you alone with all this. I believe this is his personal choice and life route no one is likely to judge. We all deserve happiness. I'm just praying you heal soon and both proceed to ivf. Wishing you both the best of luck x
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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby @whenmytruerainbow » Wed Jul 25, 2018 3:54 am

May I ask where are you going to pass ivf#2? Fresh or frozen?
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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby Unconventional tale » Wed Jul 25, 2018 4:44 am

Thank you. It will be a fresh one since the last cycle we had resulted in 12 eggs, out of which only 2 lasted to day 3 and ended with a chemical pregnancy. So have to get my mind and body ready for another cycle of ivf. The only thing getting me through this is that one day I'll have my miracle baby and that's going to be the most important thing in the world to me.
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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby LucyBrown » Tue Aug 21, 2018 10:06 am

Hey there. I hope you're doing well. The first cycle almost rarely works. Actually, it worked, for my friend. It could've been because she had donor eggs. Could you try that too? Hopefully, it works for you, in the next one! I really hope you are successful. You have my best wishes!
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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby TaylorR » Tue Aug 21, 2018 12:44 pm

Hey there! I would say that if doctors approve you for IVF then she should give it a try. Carrying ones' own baby and giving birth has no match. If unfortunately, doctors deem you ineligible for IVF or if the risk is too high then she should try for surrogacy. I would say the first IVF cycle isn't successful for everyone. Do give it another shot. The results will be worth it.
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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby Rebecca Jackson » Sat Aug 25, 2018 2:54 pm

Hello! Hope you are well! I am glad to know that you've initiated the process! Thanks for sharing it! IVF is a bit painful but a long-term process! My friend had gone to Ukraine for her IVF! She was very much satisfied! She had an amazing experience! Doctors, staff and everyone including the process were so much caring! Stay blessed!
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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby emmajoe303 » Tue Aug 28, 2018 8:11 am

"Hi there, I hope that you are living a happy life and are now awesome. I am agree with you. Trying to conceive is a really a difficult one. We have to face many new challenges and difficulties. I wish it wasn't as hard as it gets sometimes. Infertility is becoming increasingly common. I think it's best that everyone shares their experiences as they go. It definitely helps. It's why I love these forums so much. So many helpful and caring people. Another thing I think people should keep in mind is being open to all their options and having all knowledge of them. I have taken quite the interest in procedures such as IVF and surrogacy. They really are great. Although many are open to IVF, surrogacy still seems to be lagging a bit behind on appreciation. These methods exist for our easy and I think people shouldn't shun them so quickly. Rest, obviously what could be better than a smooth natural pregnancy?. So, I will recommend on the behalf of my experience to chose the best clinics which are in high success ratio category. Wish you all infertile people a happy future life. May Godless you all. My love is also with you people.
"
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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby nathalie335 » Tue Aug 28, 2018 2:40 pm

Unconventional tale wrote:Hello everyone,

This post is a very hard and personal story but after reading many of the stories here it's given me alot of courage to share my own.

Let me start at the beginning. My husband and I were best friends before we were anything else from the age of 17. Over time my feelings for him began to change and I slowly started to fall in love with him. I'd like to say we got our happily ever after easily but it came with a lot of ups and downs and will they or won't they or is it a one sided love. Till eventually 9 years later we realised we both loved each other and he proposed. 10 months later we were married and it was one of the best days of my life where I thought we would have this story book marriage and all our dreams would be coming true.

My husband and I both decided to wait till marriage to be intimate with each other.I did get my period on the day of my wedding (I would blame it on the stress of planning a wedding) so I didn't get the magical wedding night that everyone talks about. Cut to our honeymoon where my period was over but realised my husband was very withdrawn and still wasn't interested in being intimate. After questioning him about it one day we did try but due to it being both of our first time we didn't do a very good job of it. Sadly that was the first and last time we tried.

We started therapy and my husband informed me that the reason he was unable to be intimate with me was because as a child he was sexually abused multiple times and therefore the idea of sex was very difficult for him.

I love my husband more than anything in the world and decided that this is an obstacle that we can overcome together. We have been married almost 5 years and unfortunately are still unable to be intimate with each other. The therapy has helped us in the sense that we have never loved each other more and are completely committed to each other and want to spend our lives together regardless of the fact that we could be in a sexless marriage for the rest of our lives.

Fast forward to the present where we have decided that we want to start a family together. After research online we looked at IUI. I visited my gynae who informed me that regardless if I was having sex or not my hymen would have to be surgically broken due to me having a septate hymen (basically 2 holes instead of one making it impossible to have sex - could explain why the first time trying to have sex didn't work).

So after surgically being unvirginized my husband and I went to the fertility clinic to discuss IUI and explaining our situation. We had to do some basic fertility tests to check if everything was ok since we had never technically tried to conceive before. The results came out that my husband has a 2% morphology problem and I had a low egg reserve and irregular ovulation or weak ovulation. We were told that our best option would be IVF or more specifically ICSI.

So here we are in the process of starting our first IVF cycle. We are both very nervous but extremely hopeful and trying to remain positive. We should be starting our cycle within the next few days.

Thank you for taking the time to hear my story. I wish you all the best of luck on your journey to your BFP and bundle of joy.


I am blown away. Like everyone is saying, this surely is an unconventional story. You both are so adorable I have to say. Not giving up on having a family is so sweet. Plus you are one strong woman, and you surely love your husband a lot. I am so happy for you guys. I really hope things have worked out. You should update us on how are things gong. IVF can be such a long journey for some. My friend was facing typical infertility, compared to what you guys went through. She had IVF but did not work out. It is weird how it works for some, and does not for others. She has stopped the treatments. As they do not work for her. I am hopeful for you though.
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Re: First time IVF-er

Postby Taylor458 » Wed Aug 29, 2018 12:49 am

Hi everyone , I hope you are well and fine.I am sad to know about you.But you best option to born baby.For surrogacy and IVF clinic plays an important role.If we choose best surrogacy clinic then every thing go positive. I am also infertile.I went every where for check up but nothing happened.I lost my hope .I want baby but can not born baby.Then some one told me about surrogacy.We contact with surrogacy Clinic and reached there for surrogacy.They helped me a lot.They gave me positive results.Now i am very happy.I have a baby by surrogacy.I also suggest surrogacy for you to born baby.People must know about the surrogacy so the everyone can enjoy the life.
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