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think ttc is making me a bad mom

Sat Mar 30, 2013 12:26 pm

I feel like I am being consumed by ttc and my DD is suffering. I am going crazy and have been physically and emotionally exhausted and not as active as normal. Has anyone else felt this way? What can I do about it? Hopefully things will get better. I am going to the doc on the 12th and depending on what she says I may bewn finished ttc. After 5 1/2 years of unptotected sex I just don't know what to do.

Any advice would be helpful.

Re: think ttc is making me a bad mom

Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:26 pm

I can completely relate to what you are going through. My DD is 9 years old and DH and I have been unprotected since she turned six months old. My obsession with TTC only began 2 years ago. Since I've gotten baby crazy I've felt the same way with my DD. I've gotten so depressed that I don't have the energy or desire to do the things I should be doing with my DD. However, lately I've been makin more of an effort to be more involved. It's not easy. I force myself every day. After you have your visit with your doctor you'll be able to determine if you are going to continue or not. I've been getting help, and continue to do so, for the past year. I realize this probably isn't the most helpful response, bit I wanted to let you know you are not alone. I hope you're able to get some answers during your visit.

Re: think ttc is making me a bad mom

Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:42 am

Thank you. Sorry just seen your reply. Insurance doesn't cover anything so she doesn't want to see me back until all scheduled tests. I won't know anything until May 21 when I go back cause couldn't get DH in for a SA until May 20. I have been making a big effort too. It sounds bad but I've been puttong on a smile and going with her to ride her bike, coloring more, etc. Think that's all I can do. And I'm really making an effort. Glad I'm not the only one who ever feels this way.

Re: think ttc is making me a bad mom

Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:56 am

Our insurance doesn't cover anything either so we're having to do this slowly, and with an with my gyno. He's great and doing all he can to help us while keeping the cost down, but during my last visit he mentioned moving on to an RE :( which is not an option for us.

I hope things are going well with your daughter. Yesterday mine broke down crying that she wanted a sister and was tired of being alone. This is the driving force behind my anxiety/depression with TTC, but I just hugged her tight and explained to her that it's out of our control. I always remind her that she'll have friends along the way in life that will become like sisters/brothers.

I had a really bad day around 8 dpo where I became very withdrawn. We had dinner with my in-laws at a park and I sat at the picnic tables the entire time. Earlier that day I just knew that this month would not be the month. I try not to be so withdrawn, especially around family/friends, but it's so hard not to cry. I'm the kind of person that breaks down if they even open their mouth while feeling like I did. It didn't help that there were pregnant women everywhere. My MIL assumed I was mad at her because I didn't talk much. I feel somewhat better now that I've accepted that this cycle is over. Now I'm just waiting for my next cycle to begin.

Re: think ttc is making me a bad mom

Mon May 06, 2013 3:29 pm

First I want to say that I'm sorry you are feeling like TTC has been affecting you as a parent. Although I have secondary infertility as well I think one of the only positives it has given me is that I try to fully enjoy every minute I have with my DS. It took us 4 years to conceive him and he is 4 years old now.

We have been actively TTC #2 for over a year and we haven't been preventing for over 10 years. I totally understand how depressing it can get to see pregnant women everywhere and watch your friends have their 2nd, 3rd and even 4th babies. Trust me, you're not alone! My only advice would be to try and focus less on the child you don't have (yet) and more on the one you do have :)

Re: think ttc is making me a bad mom

Fri May 10, 2013 5:02 pm

I've been up and down. Even when I am down I can now force a smile and still hav e time for dd. Trying to start my own business but ran into financial obstacles so starting way smaller than had originally planned. Its helping to have a goal I can control rather than focusing so much on another baby which is in Gods hands

Re: think ttc is making me a bad mom

Sat Dec 14, 2013 2:22 pm

Yes I can totally relate to this! I am glad to know I'm not alone in feeling this way. <3

Re: think ttc is making me a bad mom

Thu Apr 19, 2018 9:45 am

I can understand what you are experiencing now. My daughter is 5 years of age and we have been unprotected intercourse for 2 years. My journey of TTC started 2 years ago. Since when my first daughter born, I've felt similar to my daughter. People discouraged me a lot. They talked about my infertility every time.But I did not lose the heart. Instead, I tried my best to get pregnant. It is so difficult. I compel myself consistently.I think one should visit her specialist. Only they can suggest the best solution. Also, members of this forum are very corporative. You will get enough help from here to decide which option is best. I hope that you shall get some good piece of advice. Baby dust to you!

Re: think ttc is making me a bad mom

Fri Jun 15, 2018 8:29 am

Nothing could make anyone a bad mom. Every one in thirteen women goes through infertility and TTC and all of them had the worst stages to observe. Even at times, I feel so exhausted. So would I be a bad MOM? NO! We would surely be a loving MOM. Who would love their children unconditionally? Because we would have them after so much struggle. Just stay calm. I know that's too tough. But you have to do that. You would conceive very soon.
Prayers for you.

Re: think ttc is making me a bad mom

Thu Jun 21, 2018 6:16 am

Secondary infertility can be a difficult one. It can physically as well as emotionally drain you. However, don't let that affect your personal life and the relations. I can understand that you are not doing this on purpose. You should remember that kids notice these small things so you should be careful. Make time for her and try to stay positive in front of her. I am sure things will get better. Sending baby dust your way.

Re: think ttc is making me a bad mom

Thu Jun 21, 2018 8:44 am

hello dear. I'm so sorry you have to go through all the pain. how are you doing now? I'm here to support you. do not feel sad. you can always talk to me. I wish you all the luck. hope the doctor suggest you good stuff. sending you baby dust. take care.
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