Heartbroken while writing, rambling.

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Heartbroken while writing, rambling.

Postby MandyKTTC2 » Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:57 pm

My now husband and I had a surprise pregnancy when we were dating. We were not trying and it actually took us a while to get on solid ground after having her. Now, our daughter is 3.5 years old, we own a home, we've given our lives to The Lord and we are married. We started kind of trying in February 2013, and have not been successful. I had an unplanned c-section with my daughter, and I'm beginning to fear it caused other problems for me. My cycles got really irregular, would be anywhere from 40 days to 90 days and everywhere in between. I recently started taking vitex and last month I ovulated a week earlier than the month before and had a 34 day cycle. I also use castor oil packs to try to help heal any problems I may have. We don't have health insurance, my husband is a contractor.
Anyway, I'm having such a hard time right now dealing with this. If it was so easy to get pregnant without trying, actually while trying NOT to get pregnant, is there something really really wrong with me now that I won't ever get pregnant again?
I've been crying and crying over this.
I guess I just need support. My husband loves me and tries to talk to me. I know I should simply be trusting God's will and sovereignty and plan for our lives. It doesn't make it any easier to think there's something messed up with my body.
I'm so so heartbroken.
Husband (29), Me (29)
Surprise BFP 8/22/10
DD (3) emergency c-section 4/22/2011
Married 2/6/2012
NTNP Feb 2013-Sept 2014
TTC #2 since Sept 2014

Image
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My Ovulation Chart
MandyKTTC2
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Re: Heartbroken while writing, rambling.

Postby Seanachai » Tue Jan 20, 2015 11:44 am

I've got a shoulder.... cause I know i'm gonna need one here soon. My new hubby and I have been trying for over a year now. I have 4 from a previous marriage and he hasn't had any. He is such an amazing father....taking after another man's children as if they were his own. I want so badly to have a child with a man who will be the father I always wanted my ex to be. I know he has low count, but even then, i know there is hope. I had a miscarriage last Jan and then diagnosed with polyps this september....had surgery to remove them and was given the green light. I did have a doc willing to work with us, our ins wont cover anything fertility related, but then when it came down to actually doing an iui, she refused to call me back. Put me on clomid which I had to pay for out of pocket, had me buy ovulation tests.... worst of all, she got my hopes up. I think that hurt the most.

Its hard to keep the perspective that God is in control and all things in his time when everyone around you has babies or is pregnant. It feels like God has a vendetta against me.... I know that's not the case, but that's how it feels....

Hugz
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Good Luck

Postby Lillyanne555 » Tue Mar 10, 2015 12:28 pm

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