Heartbroken while writing, rambling.

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Heartbroken while writing, rambling.

Postby MandyKTTC2 » Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:57 pm

My now husband and I had a surprise pregnancy when we were dating. We were not trying and it actually took us a while to get on solid ground after having her. Now, our daughter is 3.5 years old, we own a home, we've given our lives to The Lord and we are married. We started kind of trying in February 2013, and have not been successful. I had an unplanned c-section with my daughter, and I'm beginning to fear it caused other problems for me. My cycles got really irregular, would be anywhere from 40 days to 90 days and everywhere in between. I recently started taking vitex and last month I ovulated a week earlier than the month before and had a 34 day cycle. I also use castor oil packs to try to help heal any problems I may have. We don't have health insurance, my husband is a contractor.
Anyway, I'm having such a hard time right now dealing with this. If it was so easy to get pregnant without trying, actually while trying NOT to get pregnant, is there something really really wrong with me now that I won't ever get pregnant again?
I've been crying and crying over this.
I guess I just need support. My husband loves me and tries to talk to me. I know I should simply be trusting God's will and sovereignty and plan for our lives. It doesn't make it any easier to think there's something messed up with my body.
I'm so so heartbroken.
Husband (29), Me (29)
Surprise BFP 8/22/10
DD (3) emergency c-section 4/22/2011
Married 2/6/2012
NTNP Feb 2013-Sept 2014
TTC #2 since Sept 2014

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My Ovulation Chart
MandyKTTC2
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Re: Heartbroken while writing, rambling.

Postby Seanachai » Tue Jan 20, 2015 11:44 am

I've got a shoulder.... cause I know i'm gonna need one here soon. My new hubby and I have been trying for over a year now. I have 4 from a previous marriage and he hasn't had any. He is such an amazing father....taking after another man's children as if they were his own. I want so badly to have a child with a man who will be the father I always wanted my ex to be. I know he has low count, but even then, i know there is hope. I had a miscarriage last Jan and then diagnosed with polyps this september....had surgery to remove them and was given the green light. I did have a doc willing to work with us, our ins wont cover anything fertility related, but then when it came down to actually doing an iui, she refused to call me back. Put me on clomid which I had to pay for out of pocket, had me buy ovulation tests.... worst of all, she got my hopes up. I think that hurt the most.

Its hard to keep the perspective that God is in control and all things in his time when everyone around you has babies or is pregnant. It feels like God has a vendetta against me.... I know that's not the case, but that's how it feels....

Hugz
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Good Luck

Postby Lillyanne555 » Tue Mar 10, 2015 12:28 pm

Hopes and prayers for you all if you spiritual like I am i found energy in fertility jewellery my sister got me a bracelet from an African tribe that do energy transfer, now again you can find them on eBay I swear it worked it worked for me good luck xx http://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/221712149867?nav=SEARCH
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Re: Heartbroken while writing, rambling.

Postby nathalie335 » Tue Aug 21, 2018 5:12 am

MandyKTTC2 wrote:My now husband and I had a surprise pregnancy when we were dating. We were not trying and it actually took us a while to get on solid ground after having her. Now, our daughter is 3.5 years old, we own a home, we've given our lives to The Lord and we are married. We started kind of trying in February 2013, and have not been successful. I had an unplanned c-section with my daughter, and I'm beginning to fear it caused other problems for me. My cycles got really irregular, would be anywhere from 40 days to 90 days and everywhere in between. I recently started taking vitex and last month I ovulated a week earlier than the month before and had a 34 day cycle. I also use castor oil packs to try to help heal any problems I may have. We don't have health insurance, my husband is a contractor.
Anyway, I'm having such a hard time right now dealing with this. If it was so easy to get pregnant without trying, actually while trying NOT to get pregnant, is there something really really wrong with me now that I won't ever get pregnant again?
I've been crying and crying over this.
I guess I just need support. My husband loves me and tries to talk to me. I know I should simply be trusting God's will and sovereignty and plan for our lives. It doesn't make it any easier to think there's something messed up with my body.
I'm so so heartbroken.

Hey there. You are not alone. There are so mnay women and couples facing secondary infertility. Do not lose hope. Becuase if you do everything will seem difficult. Life is full of surprises. Ans this is one of them. It is not something you expected or planned. And that is how things go. You are thrown a curve ball at times. Just be positive about everything. You are lucky there are so mnay options. You should visit a doctor and discuss this. If everything fails, and you cannot conceive naturally at all, you can give surrogacy a consideration. I know many people are not willing for it. But it is an option. And there are amazing clinics around. My friend went to one in Ukraine, she is all praises about it.
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Re: Heartbroken while writing, rambling.

Postby hannahdavid » Tue Aug 21, 2018 5:26 am

Hey, I can understand that you might be stressed. However, honestly, there is nothing to be stressed about. I am sure there is nothing to worry about. So many people have c sections I am sure this isnt the reason for your infertility. My suggestion to you would be that you talk to a fertility specialist. Visit someone who has a high success rate. Good luck to you I hope everything goes well for you. Stay strong and be positive.
-Low AMH and High FSH
-Poor Ovarian Reserve
-5 IUIs (failed)
-1 IVF (failed)
Life is a total mess
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Re: Heartbroken while writing, rambling.

Postby LucyBrown » Mon Aug 27, 2018 8:55 pm

It breaks my heart that you're going through this. Let me tell you this one thing. Girl, you need to stay positive. That stress is going to do you so much harm. You have no idea how damaging it is to your mental health. I want you to have faith and relax. You will make it through. I have had so many problems as well. I've been through this phase of depression. I miscarried thrice. It was horrible and painful. I had to stay positive and sane for the sake of my partner. I made it through. We are currently checking in with a clinic. I really hope it gives me the joy of parenthood.
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