Thought it would be easier, hope in 1 hand,$%#! in the other

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Thought it would be easier, hope in 1 hand,$%#! in the other

Postby brtngrl79 » Sat Jun 13, 2015 10:01 am

Hi there! New poster here. I'm hoping by sharing my story I will be able to get some positive advice, feedback, support, relief etc.

So here's the background. Since I started having a period at age 11, I have been irregular. I was also not very smart about sex in my younger years. I lost the V card just before 16, was diagnosed with cervical displaysia within my first year of sexual activity and had had 2 leep procedures and 2 bouts of chlamydia before the age of 27.

I got married one week after turning 29 and we started TTC immediately with minimal luck. A pap smear a few months later had a tender pelvic exam which resulted in an ultra sound which raised the question of PCOS, which was never confirmed or denied despite varying symptoms, i.e. irregular cycles, excess facial and nipple hair, PMS etc. But I took the question and ran with it assuming we would not be able to have children.

About 1.5 years later despite a rather questionable lifestyle, we found ourselves unexpectedly pregnant. I gave birth naturally to a healthy baby girl with minimal complications. After her, we assumed having more wouldn't be a problem. We certainly weren't trying to get pregnant right away but we also were not preventing it.

Unfortunately, 6 months after she was born, my Mom and only remaining parent, passed away and we moved across country to my husband's home area. Depression set in and was very consuming. Once we were settled, I went in for my annual and discussed the possible PCOS diagnosis from the earlier days with my new womanly doctor. She ordered another ultra sound to try and get confirmation, unfortunately, though my marriage was in a state of decline due to my emotional state and so I never followed through with the second Ultra sound.

It took some time, but fortunately my husband and I weathered the low point in our life and worked things out and we started really "trying" again, which is really just saying we weren't preventing pregnancy. Beyond tracking my periods I wasn't doing much more to make it happen. But I did start to become discouraged and began sourcing holistic therapies online like Macca and Vitex. At first it seemed like this combo was doing some good. I started seeing my cycles shorten and at one point had my first cycle under 30 days in over 14 months, but then a spontaneous trip cross country messed up my schedule and despite the supplements the very next cycle was back in the 40+ day range.

At my next pap visit I brought the supplements and asked the doc her opinion on them. She knew nothing in regards to them and due to the price I stopped taking them. A few months later I tried a fertility cleanse which cost good money and produced absolutely no results.

Frustrated again I found myself reaching out to a Naturopathic doc in my area. (I should insert that I do not believe in IVF or other intrusive methods for conceiving and am wary of pills and injections that come with traditional western medicine methods of fertility, hence the reason I have not yet gone to a fertility doctor.) I ran through my history with him and he ordered a saliva test for me which I completed around CD 19. This was in early September of '14. The results came back showing my progesterone extremely low and even being low in estrogen. He said I was adrenal fatigued and believed my ovaries were no longer producing pregnancy hormones.

We discussed bioidentical hormones and I agreed to give them a shot. Initially he had me on both an estrogen and progesterone cream. 20mg of P and 1/4 teaspoon of Ostraderm 6 days on 1 day off, stop completely when period starts. I began this regiment and started a period 3 weeks later, a long one. I continued on and my next cycle was just over 2 weeks with another 6 or 7 day period and the following even shorter. I contacted the doc and he took me off the estrogen but had me continue the progesterone as directed. By the time the holidays were over I felt a mess. I was emotionally all over the place and confused about the regiment I was on as most of the research I saw said that progesterone creams should only be used from CD14 on.

I got in touch with the doc and told him I wanted to stop the hormones altogether due to the emotional dollar coaster and heavy PMS symptoms I continued to feel despite no longer using the Estrogen. He told me it was of course my decision but that I could kiss any chance of a future pregnancy goodbye if I didn't continue use of the progesterone. I decided I was willing to continue with Progesterone with some revisions. We revised my regiment to 20mg per day starting CD 10 and stopping either on my period or at CD30 whichever came first.

AFter this implementation, my cycles went as follows:
37 days, 32 days, 33 days, 26 days and lastly 28 days in May.

I have been thrilled to notice the shortening of my cycles and really pleased with the having 2 back to back under 30 days. One thing that always stuck out to me though was that we never discussed what to do with the progesterone if I did find myself pregnant. My biggest concern being that a OTC test may not give me a positive result at CD30 and what happens to an early pregnancy if I stop the supplementation of progesterone..?

Well this takes me to my current self and state of mind. First, the cycle of 26 days was in April. I happened to notice the smallest amount of blood during a routine wipe mid-cycle and wondered if that just might have been ovulation blood. I was disappointed when I started my period 8 days later, but was happy to have my first "normal" cycle since updating my hormone therapy. I would like to note that this 26 day cycle was odd. My period was very light and so I was curious if perhaps this might have been "breakthrough" bleeding and a week or so after that period I tested just to be sure and of course it came back negative. My last cycle of 28 days I was thrilled about. It seemed like I'm starting to get regular and perhaps I will be ovulating regularly too!

I updated my period tracker to manually track my cycle as 30 days. Since the last 2 had been less then that. I figured if I made it to day 30 with no period then I could test and hopefully see a positive and then not stop the progesterone.

Well, that was today. Today is day 30. I peed on that god forsaken stick first this this morning and once again was staring a big fat negative. I'm now 35 years old and only a few months away from 36. My baby is gonna be 4 in a couple of months.

Time is running out, my will and patience is getting frazzled and the the best part of it all….?

This morning I start doing some more research and have learned that this regiment my Naturopath has me on could actually be thwarting our chances since apparently if you use progesterone prior to ovulation it can cause the body not to ovulate.

I have contacted the naturopath with my questions and am waiting for answers. I haven't spoken to him since we updated our "plan of attack" back in January. I told him what my cycles have been and about this mornings big fat negative.

I've asked him what to do if I find myself pregnant before CD30 and also asked him about progesterone causing an ovulation.

But really I want to scream. Have the last 6 months been a total waste because he had me start taking progesterone so early on in my cycle?

Is this morning's negative a false negative? I experienced a couple symptoms that had me wondering if this cycle might be the one. Including a mysterious bout of upset stomach/ diarrhea the other morning and a sudden onslaught of sensitivity to taste. Picking up heavily on bitterness in foods I hadn't previously had an issue with before. Sore breasts, minimal pms feelings, headaches etc.

Why did I have a couple cycles under 30 and now am experiencing another one that clearly is going into the thirties?

What would happen if I just stopped using the progesterone? A thought that scares me because i've noticed a fairly dramatic improvement in my overall moods since utilizing it in the last 5 months.

Is it time to go to a real fertility doc?

I said it before, IVF and the like isn't for me. If I can't do it without major medical intervention then I believe it wasn't meant to be. This is something I've come to terms with however, I'm not yet ready to give up on trying.

Even better yet, in March I had my 3rd annual pap and the doc did a manual palpation of my throat and said my thyroid seemed swollen and ordered an ultra sound on that. I did follow through with this order and have been diagnosed with a large, even over-sized nodule on the left half of gland. The Endocrinologist I met with in regards to this said this is most likely benign and not inhibiting my overall thyroid function, however, he hasn't tested that function in any way. I've had a biopsy done on the node and am awaiting the results still.

Has anyone been where I'm at? Feeling pretty lost and frustrated today, I'm not gonna lie.
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:17 am

Re: Thought it would be easier, hope in 1 hand,$%#! in the o

Postby Danaa » Sat Jun 13, 2015 2:48 pm

Hang in there,is difficult but miracles do happen! bcs you refuse any help from doctors I can't give you any advice bcs I don't know what causes ur infertility!It could be many things,pcos,tubal infertility,no ovulation,low ovarian reserve,etc!Doctors and medicine aren't really that bad!Good
My Ovulation Chart
Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a very early loss,chemical pregnancy.
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 MMC at the 10 weeks ultrasound.
FET#4 2018
Posts: 10090
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 5:54 am

Re: Thought it would be easier, hope in 1 hand,$%#! in the o

Postby St@rMumm@ » Sun Jun 14, 2015 5:31 pm


Even if IVF is not the road you want to take, maybe seeing a fertility specialist might be a good idea, they can do tests & you can find out why you are struggling to get pregnant? It might be something really simple. They could even advise you on the best time to be taking the progesterone.

Good luck
Me - 27
DH - 27
DD - 1
TTC #2 since 03/2015
25/6: BFP 8dpo, Due: 9th March 2016


Posts: 85
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2014 9:51 pm

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