Trying to Conceive Forum

by **trisharenee** » Sun Mar 04, 2012 2:41 pm

I found out at my 7wk appt there was no heartbeat. We drug it out for 3 weeks with hope, and tests to be sure. We there was no miracle like I prayed there would be. Well last week my SIL had her baby prematurely the day before I had my D&C in the same hospital. ALL my in-laws were there and I pretended to be so happy and so supportive of them. I pretended to be strong and okay with my situation and tried to pass it off as bad luck (AGAIN)!! All I wanted was a break from the whole baby thing and time to just be the fun Aunt. See my sister is prego with the same due date as the one I just lost. I am of course happy and supportive and whatever I need to be to hide how angry I am and how sad I am that I lost another baby (3 in 1 year). Being around all those little babies on the maternity floor with my SIL has made it extremely hard for me to want to wait. No woman should be on a maternity floor minutes after a D&C...I should have a metal for being that strong!! AND this weekend my sister came to visit me and I helped her find her babies heartbeat on a doppler I rented for my pregnancy. I acted so happy for her when we found it and inside I wanted to die!!
I am tired of it being all about everyone else and seeing healthy pregnant women everywhere (several nurses in the hospital were prego too)! And for me all the doctors can say is "we have no idea what this mean or what is happening." All our tests are good and normal. We have no idea what to do next and are scared to try again!! My heart is broken and so scared of trying and getting brokenhearted again. My pregnancies last the whole 1st trimester too...I gain at least 10 lbs with each (I lose it b4 the next pregnancy, but gain it back as soon as the stick has 2 pink lines...for nothing...its frustrating)!!
Sorry this is so long. I just needed to vent and talk...I just hope it makes sense.

by **trisharenee** » Sun Mar 04, 2012 2:49 pm

Oh and if I hear one more encouraging stupid comment I might lose it!!! One more "it'll happen" or "God has a plan for you and he will make it happen when its time" or "One day when you are not trying so hard it will happen". I am also sick of being compared to my dumb MIL!! Also while I was having my procedure my MIL (as dumb as she is) asked my husband if I had had a tubal ligation with one of my 3 older children!!!! ARE EFFING KIDDING???? I think that I would know if I had had my tubes tied!! My husband tells her "NO or she wouldn't be getting this far!!!!!" If you do not have something smart to offer then shut up and just sit there!!!!

1 time · by **AnnaJuly** » Sat Mar 10, 2012 5:23 am

I am not sure if this is helpful.I had one blighted ovum, which passed naturally but painfully at about 10.5 weeks. I then went on to have two more miscarriages. I know it is not the case for everyone and there can be different causes but a common cause of early fetal death is hypothyroidism. I had mine checked after my second miscarriage and was told it was normal. The doctor I went to after my third did not even want to see the numbers ( I brought my records with me). Then about three years later I learned my numbers were high and that many doctors use outdated charting systems. That could be worth checking, if you have not had your thyroid numbers checked or checked recently. If you have compare your numbers with the new recommendations.

by **aaronsmummy** » Sat Mar 10, 2012 5:44 am

I understand. its frustrating when everyone tells you 'not to stress' and 'it'll happen if you relax'...my mother says it, but then she never went through a loss so she has NO idea what i'm feeling.

I recently (like last weekend) lost my 3rd pregnancy. I was really relaxed, i thought 'what are the chances of it happening again?' and enjoyed a cup of coffee here and there and even before i took my positive pregnancy test did a skydive - i don't know how much more relaxed i could have been!!

needless to say it didn't help. i still lost the pregnancy.

I don't really have any advice...just i know how you feel. part of me is so scared to try again. i NEVER want to go through another miscarriage, and in the back of my mind i know that if i fall pregnant it is a possibility.

With each pregnancy my body also changes, my boobs grow and then i lose them, they grow, and i lose them. I have stretch marks on my boobs now and i'm only 23!

i also hate when i'm told how young i am...like THAT has helped so far?! and if they don't know about the m/c's then its even worse 'isn't it time he had a sibling?' 'you should start trying for another one now'

just thought i'd sympathise...

by **trisharenee** » Sun Mar 11, 2012 3:25 pm

Thanks! This loss has been pretty hard on me and I am still working through it. Been extra hard with my sister being pregnant and exactly where I would be...So I am learning how strong I am in front of everyone...and break down when I am alone.

I am sorry about your loss too! I think one of the hardest things is finding people that understand what you are going through and how you feel.

I will talk to my doctor again about my thyroid and see if he wants to do another test.

Take care ladies and know you are not alone :hb: