I'm so sorry for your losses. It is never easy & there are never really any words to ever change what happened. That is a scar on your heart you will forever have, but behind every scar is a story and your angel babies stories never need to be forgotten.
My DH & I were married in 2011. Began tic right away as it was our dream after years of dating, securing careers, becoming emotional & financially stable to become parents and have the "American Dream". It happened 3 mths after NTNP and we were so unbelievably happy and cried with joy. Sadly we lost our first pregnancy at 5 weeks, before we even got to see anything. I felt broke, but vowed not to give up and keep trying. A whole year went by. Feeling defeated, I just stopped thinking about babies…Ya right. Impossible. Then, surprise became pregnant again a year to the month of previous pregnancy. So excited, still scared to lose our baby again. And it happened again and I've never cried so much in my life. My husband just held me and cried. What can you do? It's in God's hands. I repeat in my head so many times :"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
We want these babies so bad, to love, and raise, and guide. God knows this, but he has a plan. We will raise our angel babies when we leave this life, but until then we just need to focus on where God has already blessed us. DH & I won't give up and I am working on changing things I can change, like my diet, and being healthier, giving back, pushing myself more. I think you should just have a lot of faith in your body. You created two beautiful children already, and you will and can do it again. Being scared is natural because we only want the best outcome, but life happens, but it happens for a reason. I hope it happens very soon and pray for a healthy pregnancy.