Trying to Conceive Forum

by **35HopingForAtLeast3** » Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:39 pm

A bit of background first. I'm 35. Hubby is 34. We got pregnant 2 1/2 years ago which ended in a miscarriage at 7 weeks and 7 days. We have been TTC mostly ever since.

At some point I think you just have to move on. I do know one day your body will force you to (menopause). But I'm talking before that. I just don't think I want to keep holding on to hope for much longer. I think in my mind and life I have already started to move on. I now focus on plans I have for my life and I don't really think about TTC or having children much anymore, it's just not been the center focus of my life in a while. I just opened a business and because of such hubby and I have not tried for months. I can't really be bothered to really put any effort into it anymore. What do you think? What about you? What do you think moving on would be? Tell me your thoughts.

by **edswife05** » Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:47 pm

When you and dh have come to a consensus that you can be childless. When you can make this decision and it is a relief then you can know that you can put it behind you and live with this decision. In our hearts we know when it's time to say enough is enough. I ask myself will I have any regrets and if I do are they ones I can live with. Praying that this decision that you make whatever it may be makes you smile.

For me it will be when I have tried and failed at all procedures. We are moving to ivf in the new year. It that does not work I won't say we will be finished nut we will not be actively trying and stressing like now.

8 times · by **alinat** » Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:51 pm

I have tried so many times to just give up but I just cant. My body and mind push me to keep going. My DH has no children of his own and I feel like I have to put in every effort until there is no more to put in, for his sake.

Good luck ladies. Hoping we all get our BFPs soon xx

by **35HopingForAtLeast3** » Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:55 pm

Maybe this is just how i'm feeling right now. Maybe I'm just depressed about it. But I really could not be bothered to do ivf or anything like that that took any real effort. If we came to the decision to stop trying I don't think it could be with a smile but with shame I admit it would be anger, frustration, bitterness of not wanting to hold on the hope anymore.

by **35HopingForAtLeast3** » Wed Nov 02, 2011 8:03 pm

alinat that is beautiful that you want to do this for your husband. Just know that you have bond with or without sharing children. My hubby and I are Christian and this makes our bond even deeper one that is spiritual and shared with God as a part of that. You can never get deeper than that!

by **Hear Me Calling** » Sat Nov 05, 2011 2:39 pm

I dont know. I am so not ready to give up. We have started testing and I am going to find out what it is no matter what. I want my baby!

41 times · by **maddy** » Sat Nov 05, 2011 2:43 pm

Moving on for me would have to be menopause. And even then I would consider trying if it is medically possible. I have taken ttc breaks, but i could never let go of my dream. And God knows I have tried to let it go.

by **Alyce** » Sat Nov 05, 2011 2:54 pm

I've moved on. but I gave it my all first. We did everything that we possibly could to make it happen for 20 cycles (my ff ticker is out of date) and now we are at the crossroads to moving onto IUI/IVF. We are applying to be foster carers and putting our all into that. It has been very hard to give up, but at the same time its a weight off my shoulders.

have you had testing done? If I was in your situation I would see a doctor first, get bloods, a HSG (to make sure you dont have blocked tubes) and maybe try clomid unmonitored for a few cycles. You would be kicking yourself if you gave up and later found out it was only because your tubes were blocked (which can be easily fixed) or not ovulating!
You could also try vitex (not in the same cycle of clomid though), maca, EPO, fertilaid, wheatgrass and all sorts of vitamins/herbs that are proven effective.
There are quite a few avenues before IUI/IVF, and in my situation I gave it my all, explored every other avenue before moving on from ttc. For months I tossed the idea of moving on back and forth, but in the end I just went.. that's it. There was no part of me that was unsure. This is because I had put my all into it, and explored every avenue I could, so I have no regrets.

I hope you find the decision that is right for you and your hubby. Good luck!

by **stickybean2012** » Sat Nov 12, 2011 7:44 am

i thought i would try try try til i turned 40, then move on.... but as 40 approaches i am not so sure anymore.

by **socialite_baby** » Sat Nov 26, 2011 3:43 pm

Our stopping point is when we run out of money/after IVF. We feel like we've already done almost all we can do to get our baby and are so close to our stopping point, but I have to keep going. I have no other option... We've been TTC for over 3.5 years, I'm due for a 2nd lap/surgery for my aggressive endo, we've done 7 medicated cycles, and 3 IUIs. Technically something should have worked, I am only 22 afterall and DH has great sperm. We agreed that when we're done, we're done. Because of my painful endo I'll be having a hysterectomy, likely before I'm 30.

We've discussed the option of living childfree if/when it comes down to that and we both agree our love for each other is so big and strong that we would be fine. We would like to travel to Europe (Ukraine, Romania, Poland) so we would probably spend a lot of time doing that. It won't replace a biological child, but eventually I think it'll get tolerable.

1 time · by **kez71** » Sun Dec 04, 2011 7:44 pm

Alyce, blocked tubes cannot be "ëasily fixed". I have blocked tubes and was told to go straight to IVF as its very difficult to fix them once blocked.

DH and I decided to stop after 3 fresh IVF cycles and a maximum of 6 FET's.. we have done 2 fresh and one FET so far. We have one embryo on ice that we will transfer in February.

I have also said to DH if I get to 42 and no baby then we can just give up completely and go childless as adoption is almost impossible in Australia (cannot even apply until 6 months after finishing IVF treatment and then its a 10 year wait if at all.)

by **corey4** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 11:53 am

Im getting close to throwing in the towel, not because I want to though.
We are on month 23 or 24 (I cant keep track anymore) My insurance pays for nothing and also my hubby wont go to extreme measures so we really dont have anymore avenues to explore and it saddens me greatly. I've had my cd 3 labs and they were all perfect, but without DH submitting an SA (which he wont do) they will not pursue testing on me. I really want an hsg, I want to know if Iam just beating my head against a wall for nothing. I'm pretty sure DH SA would be normal since we have 3 kids together. I think if I had an hsg and they told me that my tubes were blocked and I knew we werent doing IVF(hubby wont even entertain the idea) then I could move on a lot easier, knowing there were no more options.

by **alben** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 10:02 am

I have reached to the point where I have called it quits. I made that decision because I felt that we have exhausted all our medical options ( 2 fresh IVF cycles) and our bank account. My RE wanted me to try again but even she is stumped as to why I am not getting pg...so i threw in the towel. I think if my DH did not have children I would have tried again for him but thankfully that is not the case.....

I started to look into adopting but the cost and the uncertainty of it was so discouraging...

This isn't to say that I dont want a baby desperately, or cry every month AF shows or stare at babies longingly....there is just nothing more I or my doctor can do to make it happen.... :cry:

by **corey4** » Sat Jan 07, 2012 7:36 pm

I don't know if anyone is reading this thread still but I just wanted to post that I got my BFP after 2 years just weeks after posting to this thread.

I made my post to this thread on Dec 15th, ovulated Dec. 18th and became pregnant this cycle.

Please don't lose hope. We had been at it for 24 months and I had really just given up.

I'm just posting this to give others hope that have been TTC for a long time like we had.

Good luck!