At What Point Do You Call It Quits And Just Go On With Life?

This board is for anyone TTC for over a year or longer.

Moderators: unaffected, maddy, GreekMythFreak, JessM, flipflop1117

At What Point Do You Call It Quits And Just Go On With Life?

Postby 35HopingForAtLeast3 » Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:39 pm

A bit of background first. I'm 35. Hubby is 34. We got pregnant 2 1/2 years ago which ended in a miscarriage at 7 weeks and 7 days. We have been TTC mostly ever since.

At some point I think you just have to move on. I do know one day your body will force you to (menopause). But I'm talking before that. I just don't think I want to keep holding on to hope for much longer. I think in my mind and life I have already started to move on. I now focus on plans I have for my life and I don't really think about TTC or having children much anymore, it's just not been the center focus of my life in a while. I just opened a business and because of such hubby and I have not tried for months. I can't really be bothered to really put any effort into it anymore. What do you think? What about you? What do you think moving on would be? Tell me your thoughts.
35HopingForAtLeast3
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 118
Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2011 12:00 am
Has liked: 0 times
Been liked: 0 times

Postby edswife05 » Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:47 pm

When you and dh have come to a consensus that you can be childless. When you can make this decision and it is a relief then you can know that you can put it behind you and live with this decision. In our hearts we know when it's time to say enough is enough. I ask myself will I have any regrets and if I do are they ones I can live with. Praying that this decision that you make whatever it may be makes you smile.

For me it will be when I have tried and failed at all procedures. We are moving to ivf in the new year. It that does not work I won't say we will be finished nut we will not be actively trying and stressing like now.
Me-32 DH-33 TTC#1 Since 07-07
:angel: 07-09
GOD is so good! :bfp:
ImageMake a pregnancy ticker
Image
Beta#1-310 15dpo
Beta#2-8,652 22dpo
Beta#3-41,382 30dpo
User avatar
edswife05
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 677
Joined: Fri May 15, 2009 12:00 am
Location: Alabama
Has liked: 0 times
Been liked: 0 times

Postby alinat » Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:51 pm

I have tried so many times to just give up but I just cant. My body and mind push me to keep going. My DH has no children of his own and I feel like I have to put in every effort until there is no more to put in, for his sake.

Good luck ladies. Hoping we all get our BFPs soon xx
Me:41 (Alison) :love: DH:32 (no children of his own)
DD 19
DD 16
DS 12

TTC since June 2009
TCM and acupuncture for 2 years
:angel: July 2010
:angel: September 2011
:angel: January 2012
:angel: August 2012 - 16w4d - Matthew - Complications due to Trisomy 21
DOR and poor egg quality due to age :(
IVF # 1 :bfn:
IVF#2 :bfn:
IVF#3 :bfn:
Two rounds of prescribed Clomid 50mg - both :bfn:
After 5 years we have finally conceded defeat and given up TTC.
User avatar
alinat
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 1562
Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2010 12:00 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Has liked: 18 times
Been liked: 12 times

Postby 35HopingForAtLeast3 » Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:55 pm

Maybe this is just how i'm feeling right now. Maybe I'm just depressed about it. But I really could not be bothered to do ivf or anything like that that took any real effort. If we came to the decision to stop trying I don't think it could be with a smile but with shame I admit it would be anger, frustration, bitterness of not wanting to hold on the hope anymore.
35HopingForAtLeast3
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 118
Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2011 12:00 am
Has liked: 0 times
Been liked: 0 times

Postby 35HopingForAtLeast3 » Wed Nov 02, 2011 8:03 pm

alinat that is beautiful that you want to do this for your husband. Just know that you have bond with or without sharing children. My hubby and I are Christian and this makes our bond even deeper one that is spiritual and shared with God as a part of that. You can never get deeper than that!
35HopingForAtLeast3
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 118
Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2011 12:00 am
Has liked: 0 times
Been liked: 0 times

Postby Hear Me Calling » Sat Nov 05, 2011 2:39 pm

I dont know. I am so not ready to give up. We have started testing and I am going to find out what it is no matter what. I want my baby!
Sarah-29 Moises-26 Samuel-3.5 Baby EDD- 10.21.12

Image
Hear Me Calling
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 653
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:00 am
Has liked: 0 times
Been liked: 0 times

Postby maddy » Sat Nov 05, 2011 2:43 pm

Moving on for me would have to be menopause. And even then I would consider trying if it is medically possible. I have taken ttc breaks, but i could never let go of my dream. And God knows I have tried to let it go.
Image
Image
User avatar
maddy
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 7195
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2006 1:00 am
Has liked: 273 times
Been liked: 96 times

Postby Alyce » Sat Nov 05, 2011 2:54 pm

I've moved on. but I gave it my all first. We did everything that we possibly could to make it happen for 20 cycles (my ff ticker is out of date) and now we are at the crossroads to moving onto IUI/IVF. We are applying to be foster carers and putting our all into that. It has been very hard to give up, but at the same time its a weight off my shoulders.

have you had testing done? If I was in your situation I would see a doctor first, get bloods, a HSG (to make sure you dont have blocked tubes) and maybe try clomid unmonitored for a few cycles. You would be kicking yourself if you gave up and later found out it was only because your tubes were blocked (which can be easily fixed) or not ovulating!
You could also try vitex (not in the same cycle of clomid though), maca, EPO, fertilaid, wheatgrass and all sorts of vitamins/herbs that are proven effective.
There are quite a few avenues before IUI/IVF, and in my situation I gave it my all, explored every other avenue before moving on from ttc. For months I tossed the idea of moving on back and forth, but in the end I just went.. that's it. There was no part of me that was unsure. This is because I had put my all into it, and explored every avenue I could, so I have no regrets.

I hope you find the decision that is right for you and your hubby. Good luck! :)
TTC over 3 years. 6 cycles 100mg Clomid, 5 BFNs 1 Ectopic. Lap and fertility testing, DX Unexplained Infertility.
BFP 8/12: Ectopic pregnancy - treated unsucessfully with Methotrexate, then surgically removed in emergency surgery.
10/12: Found out my right tube is deformed and my left tube is badly damaged from the Ectopic pregnancy. Advised to move onto IVF because I have almost no chance of conceiving naturally.
User avatar
Alyce
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 766
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 12:00 am
Location: Australia
Has liked: 0 times
Been liked: 0 times

Postby stickybean2012 » Sat Nov 12, 2011 7:44 am

i thought i would try try try til i turned 40, then move on.... but as 40 approaches i am not so sure anymore. :?
User avatar
stickybean2012
Friend
 
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 12:00 am
Has liked: 0 times
Been liked: 0 times

Postby socialite_baby » Sat Nov 26, 2011 3:43 pm

Our stopping point is when we run out of money/after IVF. We feel like we've already done almost all we can do to get our baby and are so close to our stopping point, but I have to keep going. I have no other option... We've been TTC for over 3.5 years, I'm due for a 2nd lap/surgery for my aggressive endo, we've done 7 medicated cycles, and 3 IUIs. Technically something should have worked, I am only 22 afterall and DH has great sperm. We agreed that when we're done, we're done. Because of my painful endo I'll be having a hysterectomy, likely before I'm 30.

We've discussed the option of living childfree if/when it comes down to that and we both agree our love for each other is so big and strong that we would be fine. We would like to travel to Europe (Ukraine, Romania, Poland) so we would probably spend a lot of time doing that. It won't replace a biological child, but eventually I think it'll get tolerable.
Lindsay (Mild Endo, Hypothyroid, implantation failure)
Ryan (Plenty of fast/forward swimming sperm)
TTC #1 for 4.5 years...

April - November 2011 - 7 Rounds of 50 mg Clomid, 3 IUIs. All BFN.
December 2011 - Diagnosed hypothyroid.
February - March, June 2012 - 3 Rounds 5 mg Femara. BFN.
April 2012 - "Immune Protocol" Follistim IUI. BFN.
May 2012 - Diagnosed activated natural killer cells and told we'll NEVER conceive naturally...

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/gigiharlow
*RIP Baby Taylor - 12/8/09 - 12/12/09*
User avatar
socialite_baby
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 3600
Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:00 am
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Has liked: 0 times
Been liked: 0 times

Postby kez71 » Sun Dec 04, 2011 7:44 pm

Alyce, blocked tubes cannot be "ëasily fixed". I have blocked tubes and was told to go straight to IVF as its very difficult to fix them once blocked.

DH and I decided to stop after 3 fresh IVF cycles and a maximum of 6 FET's.. we have done 2 fresh and one FET so far. We have one embryo on ice that we will transfer in February.

I have also said to DH if I get to 42 and no baby then we can just give up completely and go childless as adoption is almost impossible in Australia (cannot even apply until 6 months after finishing IVF treatment and then its a 10 year wait if at all.)
User avatar
kez71
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 1133
Joined: Sat Nov 04, 2006 1:00 am
Location: Vic Australia
Has liked: 0 times
Been liked: 2 times

Postby corey4 » Wed Dec 14, 2011 11:53 am

Im getting close to throwing in the towel, not because I want to though.
We are on month 23 or 24 (I cant keep track anymore) My insurance pays for nothing and also my hubby wont go to extreme measures so we really dont have anymore avenues to explore and it saddens me greatly. I've had my cd 3 labs and they were all perfect, but without DH submitting an SA (which he wont do) they will not pursue testing on me. I really want an hsg, I want to know if Iam just beating my head against a wall for nothing. I'm pretty sure DH SA would be normal since we have 3 kids together. I think if I had an hsg and they told me that my tubes were blocked and I knew we werent doing IVF(hubby wont even entertain the idea) then I could move on a lot easier, knowing there were no more options.
ME 36 DH 38
DS 18
DS 13
DD 12
Early Loss Oct. 2004
TTC #4 since March 2010

BFP on 12-29-2011 after TTC for 24 months!

1st beta 11dpo = 40
2nd beta 16 dpo = 370
3rd beta 19 dpo = 1180

<a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/29e722">
<img border="0" src="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ticker/29e722/ttc.png"></a>

<a href="http://s823.photobucket.com/albums/zz151/corey4_2010/?action=view¤t=Picture3-1.jpg" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://i823.photobucket.com/albums/zz151/corey4_2010/Picture3-1.jpg" alt="Photobucket" /></a>

<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lbdf.lilypie.com/4Bqbm6.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Pregnancy tickers" /></a>
User avatar
corey4
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 813
Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2010 12:00 am
Has liked: 0 times
Been liked: 0 times

Postby alben » Tue Dec 27, 2011 10:02 am

I have reached to the point where I have called it quits. I made that decision because I felt that we have exhausted all our medical options ( 2 fresh IVF cycles) and our bank account. My RE wanted me to try again but even she is stumped as to why I am not getting pg...so i threw in the towel. I think if my DH did not have children I would have tried again for him but thankfully that is not the case.....

I started to look into adopting but the cost and the uncertainty of it was so discouraging...

This isn't to say that I dont want a baby desperately, or cry every month AF shows or stare at babies longingly....there is just nothing more I or my doctor can do to make it happen.... :cry:
Me 39, DH 43, DSS 6
TTC#1 since Dec 2007
M/C @9 weeks 8/2004
M/C @5 weeks 8/2008
M/C @4 weeks 4/2009
IVF #1 7/2010 chemical
IVF #2 12/2010 BFN

:( END OF TTC JOURNEY :(

<a href="http://daisypath.com/"><img src="http://davf.daisypath.com/DQYQm4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Daisypath Anniversary tickers" /></a>

<a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2893cc">
<img border="0" src="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ticker/2893cc/ttc.png"></a>

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2893cc
User avatar
alben
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 2799
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:00 am
Has liked: 0 times
Been liked: 0 times

Postby corey4 » Sat Jan 07, 2012 7:36 pm

I don't know if anyone is reading this thread still but I just wanted to post that I got my BFP after 2 years just weeks after posting to this thread.

I made my post to this thread on Dec 15th, ovulated Dec. 18th and became pregnant this cycle.

Please don't lose hope. We had been at it for 24 months and I had really just given up.

I'm just posting this to give others hope that have been TTC for a long time like we had.

Good luck!
ME 36 DH 38
DS 18
DS 13
DD 12
Early Loss Oct. 2004
TTC #4 since March 2010

BFP on 12-29-2011 after TTC for 24 months!

1st beta 11dpo = 40
2nd beta 16 dpo = 370
3rd beta 19 dpo = 1180

<a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/29e722">
<img border="0" src="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ticker/29e722/ttc.png"></a>

<a href="http://s823.photobucket.com/albums/zz151/corey4_2010/?action=view¤t=Picture3-1.jpg" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://i823.photobucket.com/albums/zz151/corey4_2010/Picture3-1.jpg" alt="Photobucket" /></a>

<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lbdf.lilypie.com/4Bqbm6.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Pregnancy tickers" /></a>
User avatar
corey4
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 813
Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2010 12:00 am
Has liked: 0 times
Been liked: 0 times


Return to TTC Over 12 Months