rachel, lisa - hi and welcome!
rachel - i've been looking into fibroids (i research WAY too much about this!) do you think if i had them they'd have shown on all my ultrasounds? (when the doc did follow up from my miscarriages) i also HATE the thought of taking a TTC break as my son gets older and older but was recommended 6 monts break!! i think its ridiculous, he said for 'emotional and physical recovery' but i am ready to move on with my life. i am so sad about what happened but after our last m/c it took us 4 months to concieve again and waiting each of those months for our BFP was hard enough let alone it all being in vein when we lost the pregnancy. if you do the maths and we DID wait 6 months then took another 4 to concieve you have a total of 10 months...what if we then miscarried again?? honestly the waiting is NOT for us so we are just NTNP (not trying not preventing) until my exams are over in may/june then maybe starting a more aggressive approach if we still have no luck like OPKs. never used/needed them before but like i say we are getting pretty fed up so that may be an option! hope that you have some good results and get off your break ASAP with the all-clear - keep us posted on any developments!
lisa - how frustrating not having an explanation! at least you've had some tests done and some things can be dis-counted. i don't know whether or not i want to find a problem with the cystoscopy which is on the cards...if they do i hope its treatable!! if they don't it will all remain a mystery and the best i can hope is that the bladder infections WERE the cause of the miscarriages and with them under control for now that i may be able to carry a pregnancy past the 1st trimester again...
i deal with my feelings of wanting a sibling for my son this way - i put myself in my mom's shoes. we were/are a family of four. i KNOW for sure she didn't decide to have my brother because she didn't love or appreciate me as an only child. i like to think she made the decision so i wouldn't be lonely at home and have someone to share life with. i am still VERY close to my brother - there are two years between us, he's younger. do you two have siblings yourselves? this special bond is what i want so much for my son, also if he has no sibling HIS children will never have cousins. its just things like that which make me think this is SO important...i feel like i'm failing him
the money struggle is annoying too i'm sure we will have to pay the urologist for all these cystoscopy investigations as we just moved to a lower coverage plan (we just took over our medical aid payments from DH's mom who used to pay for us)
i need to vent also, thats why i'm writing so much
i also know some of the feelings you're both going through oh so well! from reading what we started on the other thread i can say even my mom makes me crazy talking about this sometimes and i don't think takes me seriously on this one...because of my son she just assumes everything will be fine and 'oh well' there have been losses but we'll come right someday. i hate that attitude!! i need her to acknowledge that we're struggling and maybe take a look at some of our circumstances...
i worry about the doctors here being able to investigate my concerns. what if the emergency C-section with my son caused uterine adhesions from the scar tissue?? i wonder if the ultrasound machine can pick up on such things or if i should try to find an OBGYN to talk to who is a little more knowledgable on the subject. (again we can't really afford that)
i know all about being asked 'so when's the next one on the cards' too and it drives me crazy. i think because of my age people just assume we can just get busy and *poof* a baby will appear. things clearly aren't so simple for everyone and the stereotyping that young couples will have it easy is waaay off the mark in our case. i have friends (2 actually and both called emily ironically) who i went to school with posting facebook pictures about their ultrasounds...the one posted her pee-stick on facebook and wrote about it at 4 weeks, i was thinking shes mad - would you really want the world to know if you had a miscarriage?? needless to say this was so long ago now the one friend just gave birth already. BOTH their second children, i wonder - why me??
even if i get a BFP i am now terrified of another loss...they've been the worst life experiences EVER and i certainly had to dig up all the courage and strength in the world to stay strong. even so obviously i have my breakdown days!!
glad that i have some understanding ears for now while we continue in this 'limbo' situation of uncertainty...
to us all! x