A question I can't find an answer to

Anything goes, as long as it’s related to TTC!

Moderators: unaffected, JessM, southernbelle, maddy

A question I can't find an answer to

Postby newdonor85 » Thu Oct 05, 2017 8:39 pm

This is something I've not seen asked or answered anywhere, though I admit that my research has been somewhat limited so far.

For background, a lesbian couple who are friends of mine have, after a several year long relationship, decided to have a child. They have asked me to be a sperm donor for them. This was more than a month ago and while I know there are many many many things to consider in doing something like that, I've told them yes. I'm actually feeling incredibly honored by this. I have no children of my own and do not expect that I ever will. That they want me to do that for them has left me feeling very blessed. It was very unexpected. That they want a natural conception is even more unexpected. But it is what they want and I am willing to oblige. I understand the personal risks, both legally and emotionally I am taking upon myself in this, and I am able to say I am comfortable with things.

Having no children of my own and having no experience with attempting to conceive, I've spent the last week or so reading what I can do that might improve the chances of this happening for them as quickly as possible. They have been tracking the hopefully-soon-to-be mother's cycle very closely and next week is when we begin attempting this. I've read alot and seen what I hope to be some very good advice. I suspect I've spent more time researching this topic than is reasonable, to be honest, but it is a really big deal to me.

I'm rambling and I apologize. Getting to the point is difficult here for me because the topic of sex is not something normally talked about in public spaces, but I am taking this all very seriously and want to be able to do this right. So my question, and excuse me if this is the wrong place to be asking this...

Is there any consensus or anecdotal evidence as to how long after ejaculation the p e n i s should be left in the v a g i n a (spaces because the spam filter is catching this post... Rather odd considering the subject matter of this forum, but so be it)? Does it matter at all? I can envision reasons for a relatively quick withdrawal and reasons to remain inserted for a longer period. Of all my questions, this is the one I've seen nothing about.

I look forward to any responses. Thank you!
newdonor85
Newbie
Newbie
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2017 8:03 pm

Re: A question I can't find an answer to

Postby Danaa » Fri Oct 06, 2017 12:29 am

I don't think there is any evidence that suggest anything regarding the time inside after ejaculation.
Good luck and God bless you for helping!
Image
My Ovulation Chart
.
Me 29
DH 31
After 3 years in which we tried everything we are doing IVF in Greece with Iakentro Athens.
Short Protocol with Bemfola and Cetrotide
19mature eggs and we have 9 day5 blasto.
FET#1 ended in a loss around 5 weeks
FET#2 ended in a loss at 22w due to IC,my boys will be forever in my heart .
FET#3 ?
User avatar
Danaa
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 9277
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 5:54 am

Re: A question I can't find an answer to

Postby GKR_1985 » Fri Oct 06, 2017 1:21 pm

I don't think how long you stay in there matters, but how long she stays lying down afterwards can help a bit is my understanding!

Just an FYI conceiving naturally can take a while, and you want to have sex multiple times over the fertile window to maximize the chances.

Since she is in a committed lesbian relationship just know that if having heterosexual sex so often becomes a strain on either of you I think you can artificially inseminated pretty easily with certain syringes and soft cups - I came across one such example with a lesbian couple using just that method when I was googling YouTube videos about increasing conception chances.

Dont know the circumstances of course, might be that the lady will be quite happy to do the deed, and things will work out quickly for you. Just thought I might mention something in case you need options.
me: 31 DH: 31
TTC since May 2016 (ntnp since January 2016)
BFP #1 September 2016, m/c October 2016 (6w5d)
BFP #2 March 5, 2017!!!!
DD born November 7, 2017 at 38w5d!
GKR_1985
BabyDuster
BabyDuster
 
Posts: 136
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2016 2:47 pm

Re: A question I can't find an answer to

Postby NewStory » Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:23 am

I agree with the above ladies answers. There are definitely ways of doing at-home insemination without having to have heterosexual sex. There is an American couple who have recently designed an insemination syringe specifically for this purpose after experiencing difficulty in this area, it would definitely be worth checking that out.
Also, as you said you have been researching I'm sure you will be aware of the usual protocols for donors or people undergoing insemination in fertility clinics. It would be advisable for both you and the potential mother to undergo basic STI screening blood and swab tests, and if you wanted to know where you stand fertility-wise before starting you should have at least one semen analysis and potentially a karyotyping blood test to see if you are a carrier of any congenital disorders such as CF.
Best of luck to you all. Well done for helping your friends.
Me: 32 DH:34

Married 4 years,
TTC#1 since Jan 2015

Taking:
Prenatals + omegas, RRLT

Healthy eating & juicing daily.

Diagnosed stage 2 endometriosis Dec 2016, tubes, uterus etc clear!

Image
My Ovulation Chart
User avatar
NewStory
TTC Queen
TTC Queen
 
Posts: 311
Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2015 5:03 am


Return to General TTC Stuff