Early Pregnancy Symptoms and Big Fat Positives
A year ago today I found out I was pregnant. It therefore seems appropriate that today I share my story with all those people out there who are on the same journey as I was for over 4 years. I found so much comfort and hope in reading your posts and want to give something back and hopefully bring comfort to others.
So in a nutshell here is my story. I met my husband when I was very young - only 20! We spent many happy years together enjoying life, creating careers for ourselves and traveling. We got married when we were both 31 and started trying for a baby the year after. I assumed it may take up to a year but even early on I sensed that our journey to becoming parents may be longer than expected.
After over a year of trying we both had check ups to see what was going on. I was diagnosed with mild endometriosis and all was ok for both of us apart from that. We started with monitoring my ovulation and then stimulating with injections. We then moved on to inseminations and finally resorted to IVF. The IVF was tough and I reacted badly to the treatment and our embryos had to be frozen. After one failed transfer and a lot of heartache we decided it was time for a break. IVF was taking over our lives and affecting our couple.
The decision to have a break was the best decision I could have made. I had been running on the treadmill and unable to stop and was worn out both physically and emotionally.
Taking the control back was liberating. I also began yoga, acupuncture and went to see someone to talk about how I was feeling. It felt like an outpouring of grief that was bottled up inside me. I came to live with the fact that it may not happen and to enjoy the life I had.
After a 6 month break we decided to transfer the remaining 2 embryos - one day 3 embryo and one day 5 embryo. I felt in such a great place at that stage and so at peace no matter what the outcome would be. I took time off work after the transfer to rest and to "live" the experience. I listened to lots of relaxation music and meditation. This time the treatment worked and my little boy is now 4 more old. The expression "rollercoadter of emotions" is so apt to describe this experience. Before finding out the treatment had worked I resigned myself to the possibility that we may never have children.
In the wait leading up to my first blood test I had no real symptoms apart from cramps early on which I put down to the transfer procedure and tiredness. The day before I did the blood test I was convinced my period was coming and that the treatment hadn't worked. These period like pains continued for the first month of my pregnancy. In the past, I had convinced myself that I had all the symptoms going and then each time got a BFN. I had prepared myself for this again and when the results came back positive, I just didn't know how to react. The first few months I was still quite
nervous and it wasn't really until I felt my baby moving that I allowed myself to "enjoy" being pregnant and relax a bit.
To all of you out there waiting for you BFP, continue to believe. You will become Mums one way or another. I know that it is easy for me to say this now, but keep positive and stay strong. Wishing you all so much luck. Being a Mum really is the most precious gift I have ever received and one that I will cherish even more given what I have been through. The last 4 months have been life changing and I feel so privileged to have experienced them.
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