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Early Pregnancy Symptoms and Big Fat Positives

BFP (No Symptoms) with first IVF after more than 2 years TTC #2

I waited until I finished the first trimester, but have been anxiously awaiting writing this to give other women hope. Our road has been long and hard. I got pregnant with my DS in the 3rd month of trying, easy peasy. So when we started trying for number 2 (in September 2014) I thought it would take roughly about the same time. WRONG! After one year of TTC naturally we were referred to a fertility centre (Sept 2015). We had a slew of tests and all came back normal. Everything was perfect. After hearing that positive news, we decided to try a cycle with Clomid and Timed Intercourse. BFN. We then moved on to IUI. We did 7 IUIs! 1 was with Clomid, 4 with Letrazole and 2 with Injectables (Gonal-F). ALL BFNs. (FYI, 6 out of the 7 IUIs were triggered with Ovidrel.) Every time I got the call about my negative Beta I would fall apart. I POAS sporadically (it was torture getting negatives) and I never so much as got a whiff of a second line. Keep in mind, this is all paid for out of pocket, and in Canada, everything is more expensive than in the USA. After our seventh failed IUI we moved on to IVF with ICSI. I did Estrace priming, then moved on to Menopur and Puregon. We also triggered with Ovidrel (at this point just on this 1 IVF cycle, we've spent thousands and thousands of dollars on medication alone). I joke in my head that this will be the most expensive baby ever....and he/she deserves it!!!

They retrieved 17 eggs, 16 were viable, 11 fertilized. By my day 5 transfer there were only 2 'almost' blastocysts left. We implanted the best one and froze the other one. I FELT NOTHING DURING THE TWO WEEK WAIT. (Which was actually only 9 days because of the day 5 transfer.) I have read so many girls on forums say: I had no symptoms, excepet 'I felt bloated' 'my boobs were sore' etc. Well, those are symptoms! I truly had ZERO symptoms. No sore boobs. No cramps. I did not feel bloated or particularly tired. NOTHING. I was being very negative because I thought it didn't work. The night before my Beta I felt some burning in my lower abdomen (like a warmth) which isn't a symptom of anything and didn't last long. It came in a wave, and went away. I’m 99% certain I’d felt this before on other BFN cycles. I went for my beta at 9dp5dt and was SHOCKED to find out it was 94. SHOCKED. I didn't even tell my husband until I got my second beta at 11dp5dt: 188. Exactly double. Not huge, but it doubled. The very next day I went on a much awaited and longed for trip to London ALONE (!!!!) where I spent 7 glorious days sightseeing and walking my bum off (over 100km walked in 7 days). I bought dollar store HPTs and peed on them every morning to make sure I was still pregnant, because my symptoms were so minimal and I am so paranoid after 2+ years of trying to get to this point. At 7 weeks we had our first ultrasound and saw our magical bean and heard his/her heart! The heartbeat was considered slightly low so we went back at 8 weeks for another ultrasound and the heartbeat was perfect. By week 5/6 complete and utter exhaustion had set in. I was barely able to function. HORRIBLE. Luckily it was Christmas break and I got two weeks off. Exhaustion continued until XYZ. And FYI, so far my boobs have NEVER hurt. They have not been sore, my nipples are not sensitive at all. (They were with my first pregnancy.) So the entire first trimester my only two symptoms were the horrific exhaustion (imagine having the flu and being hungover and not sleeping for 2 days..all at once!) and all-day nausea (no puking, just feeling ‘icky’ in the belly ALL DAY). My stomach felt truly awful at times.

We just had our 13 week ultrasound and everything looks great! The greatest advice I’d give anyone: If your plan is to eventually try IVF, don’t waste your time and money doing 7 IUIs like I did, switch to the IVF sooner. Many of us have this ‘mental block’ about IVF, but guess what, once you’re doing it, there’s no mental block, it disappears, and you are just SO GRATEFUL that the science exists to help you fulfill your dream. I wish baby dust on everybody here! What the world needs is babies as desired, wanted and yearned for as ours. Much love xx

Comments

Congratulations! I am welling up with tears of joy. This is such a wonderful post to read and I can relate and learn so much! I, too, conceived #1 with no problem but it took me 2 years for # 2 but ended in miscarriage. I am in my 4th cycle of trying again and I feel sometimes hopeful sometimes desperate.

DH and I had a more serious conversation this week and he is very open to IVF. And you are so right about the mental block that many women including myself have. I always thought, i am young-ish (32, maybe not that young) and have had kids so IVF would really be an overkill. But now i am thinking, why should i suffer every single month to feel hopeful, then hurt, then depressed? why dont i take advantage of the wonderful science thats out there? why do i have to wait until i am older? THank you again for sharing and Congratulations!

Thank you @mavisyupyup1 !! And I want to say I am very sorry to hear about your miscarriage. It must have been heartbreaking, especially after 2 years of trying. The month after month after month (2 years worth!) of BFNs were very hard for me. So I get what you are saying. It is a horrible suffering and as much as our partners are 'bummed', it's not as excrutiating for them. I truly feel that we are so lucky to live in a time where science is available to us! Imagine how many women just a few decades ago could never fulfill their dream to be moms. Maybe give yourself a 'limit', like you'll try X amount of cycles before looking into some help. I KNOW YOU WILL HAVE A SECOND! And if your gut tells you soon that you may need some help, then PLEASE remove the mental block. When I was younger I would kind of 'look down' on women who did IVF. (Does that make sense? Don't know if look down is the right word, but I just thought it wasn't the same as conceving naturally.) Now, I laugh at my younger self for being so naive and judgemental, there is NOTHING to judge about IVF (or IUI). They are tools out there available to every woman. I truly truly hope you have a BFP soon. Stay in touch, I'd love to hear about your journey! xx

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