Early Pregnancy Symptoms and Big Fat Positives
BFP two months after miscarriage
I always told myself I would post my story since there are so many different stories and there could be someone going through what I did,end up reading this, and having hope. That is what this website did for me. I never thought reading stories about a bfp (an unhealthy amount of stories a day might I add lol) would have such an impact on my negative or positive mood. I'll start with a little background story. I'm 26 years old, and from the age of 18 had an addiction that I would try to beat for 8 years. I decided to make a life change and leave it behind however I always felt inadequate, I felt like I could never be a good mom after some of things I had went through. I felt like I had ruined my body and chances of even carrying a child but God saw something different for me. I never thought I would get my life together, meet a genuine guy who loved me and treated me right, and that I would live a life of normalcy. By the grace of God I was able to overcome those things. In December I found out I was pregnant. I wasn't trying,but like I said I thought I could never get pregnant so I thought it may be stress. I took a test at a week late and it was negative. When I still hadn't started two weeks later I took a second one and it was positive. I was in shock, I panicked, I thought everything I had worked for all of the goals I had in place were at a hault. I honestly didn't know how to feel. Someone close to me talked me through it and explained how God had given me a new purpose in life and those words changed everything. When I really thought about it financially we would be fine,I was in a healthy place emotionally, and I finally got a little confidence that I could do this. I was good enough to be a mom. But after a week of constant cramps and spotting red blood I knew something wasn't right. I went to the ER because I had no idea what else to do,and found out I had miscarried. The heartbreak was worse than anything I had ever experienced (which has been a lot with my past). I once again felt even more inadequate, I thought it was my fault,that my body just couldn't handle it. I never thought this would have such an impact on my life. I had fell in love with the idea of being a mom, of the new life I had ahead of me. The sleepless nights, the stress, but all for an amazing purpose. I went through a depression, the first month I couldn't stop obsessing about it. I had came up with all of these insane reasons of why I had a miscarriage until I realized how it's actually almost normal. I finally had gotten to a better place and we decided maybe we could try and start a family. So we did. After my first period after the miscarriage. I wanted to try but I didn't want to try so hard as to stress my boyfriend or me out during the process. So I did simple things like checked my discharge daily, downloaded an ovulation app, had sex every other day give or take a few days. I actually started eating healthier, making sure I had my greens every day etc. Which I'll be honest these things still stressed me out. I never realized how stressful getting pregnant could be! I just pictured it like a movie. I was up and down the entire month. I ovulated around cycle day 14. I had egg white cm. Ever since the day I ovulated I was bloated,had gas,had random cramps. On cycle day 20 I woke up with a dull cramp that felt like ovulation cramps. It kept me up for three hours. That's when I knew I was probably pregnant. After that I would wake up with headaches, I was so emotional and on edge. I lost it on my boyfriend a few times. The anger during my pregnancies I can feel so much more than usual anger. I'm very laid back and calm usually. This was also a huge indicator. I cried a few times (very out of the ordinary for me) I started to break out towards my period, which is normal but last much longer than the usual two days of a pimple or two. I had taken tests since a week after ovulation and had gotten negatives. Four days before my expected period I had a very very light line on a test. I showed my boyfriend and he could see it too. But I didn't want to get too excited and ended up with negatives after that so it was probably a faulty test. I end up missing my period and my breasts started aching. Took a test day of missed period and three days after all negative. I was so upset and this was such a stressful situation I decided I would stop trying and trust God that it would happen the next month if it was meant to be. I couldn't go through the stress of tracking everything again! Four days after my missed period I got a very faint positive on a first response. Which honestly I couldn't see when I first looked but noticed later. I had just bought a puppy to help with the healing of the miscarriage because I was so sure I wasn't pregnant. But when I see that very faint life that even a camera couldn't pick up I knew. I took a second one two days later scared to death but also had another faint line. Two weeks later (today) I took a test to make sure the line had gotten darker (wanting to see if my hcg levels had gotten higher) and it showed up as dark as can be. After finding out I have found that I am so bloated, constipated, SUCH SORE BREASTS, emotional, moody. I've NEVER had a sinus problem but apparently I do now lol. Most of all being bloated. I'm 5'4 and super small, but my tummy is sticking out (which I know is bloating and not the baby) But this is my story and I am so so grateful for this site because I would visit it multiple times a day.